Last night I completely stuck to my plan. I came home and immediately ran. It turned out to be a nice run, but it was day 4 in a row so I am definitely needing a break today. Today is my dedicated day off. I actually I have contrived a mental schedule for me for the upcoming week. Today is rest day. I run Saturday and Sunday. Monday is day off (will be a crazy busy presale day). Then somehow I am going to fit in runs on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday night. I am not 100% sure how that will happen, but some way it will. Friday night is off because that is real garage sale set up. Saturday will be garage sale so completely no run at all. I will be crazy tired. And then Sunday will be back to my regular normal life. We will see how I do with all that.
Anyway, back to last night. I did run and then almost thereafter my mom and sister brought over there boxes of stuff. I then went to work on setting up more stuff. I am kind of like the energizer bunny sometimes when it comes to working towards a goal. When I have a goal/end in mind I just work and work as much as I can to accomplish it. I guess that is how I can be successful at weight loss too. It’s kind of the same mentality. I work and work to get exactly where I want to go.
I have been thinking today about how happy and comfortable I am at my present weight of 155. I also know that many times past I have not been happy at 155. I know I’ve started weight watchers a few times in my life at like 160-170… Clearly not being happy at 155. But I then thought of something else. This is my body at 155 pounds with 6 solid months of a bare minimum 4 workouts a week up to 6 workouts a week. This is not a 155 pound body without months of exercise. I guess my point is I have some lower leg muscles like you wouldn’t believe. Rock solid calves. That is 6 months of running 40 miles a week or thereabouts. The rest of me unfortunately is not that toned, but there is simply no way that I don’t have muscles in other places behind the fat and skin… yes, I do have that inevitable extra stomach skin that never seems to go away.
While the scale does say 155 pounds and I am completely fine with that, happy really, I feel so much better because this is an exercisers 155 pound body. A runner’s 155 pound body. Dare I even say an athlete? I have a hard time calling myself an athlete because I would fail miserably at just about any physical activity other than maybe running distance. I probably bet I couldn’t even beat someone in a flat out sprint because for me it’s all about endurance.
I was having a conversation with my sister yesterday on the phone about the gym and treadmills and running,etc. By the way she is doing good with her personal trainer sessions, but she is NOT dropping tons of weight and still trying to remain focused on the bigger picture of being healthy and converting fat into muscle by working out with a trainer 2 times a week.
Anyway, she told me that she HATES the treadmill. She is supposed to do a 30 minute cardio session 5 times a week but she HATES treadmill. I am baffled, but not really. I told her the truth is I think more people hate the treadmill than love it. It is all mental. She said she just is so bored and its torture that she just stares at the timer waiting for the seconds to tick by but that it goes so slow. I imagine if I was staring at the timer I would probably feel the same way. When I don’t really “feel” it and I’m struggling I can see where this mentality comes from. I can feel that way. I feel so blessed honestly that I am able to mentally put myself into a place, a zone really, where I am just running and I can get lost in my own brain for an hour or so and not focus on the numbers on the machine. It is therapy for me. It is the high I crave. It is the drug for my addictive personality. I feel so fortunate that I have that. If I didn’t love running the way I do I guarantee I would not be able to lose weight the way I do. I burn 1000 calories a night running. Plus it builds that muscle that burns more calories and makes me feel strong. Or at least my calves anyway.
I am not sure I have a total point to all this, other than A. as I always thought she is never going to be a runner B. Thank God I am crazy enough to zone out and thrive on a treadmill and C. I probably love my body at 155 pounds because of that treadmill.
I am not joking if my treadmill broke I would immediately A. have to fix it and if it were not fixable within a day or two I would be buying a new one. It’s that important to me. It’s basically essential to my well-being. That's what emergency funds are for and holy shit a broken treadmill would constitute a REAL emergency for me! Ha….
In all the times I’ve lost weight and been 155 pounds I can honestly say and believe that I have never been at this good of a place mentally. I honestly know that the other girl I become, that fat girl isn’t coming back this time. I will gain weight back I am certain of that in my life. But 10-15 pounds tops, I won’t let her win ever again. I’ve gotten it more figured out. I guess that is the beauty of age. Yes, you grow older but I actually really do believe you grow wiser. 33 year old Emily rocks as far as I’m concerned. I wouldn’t trade her for any other version of me. This is the one I am happiest with by far. Scars (both physical and emotional) and all.
I came across this picture the other day and I thought it perfectly illustrated that whole age-old debate about fat vs. muscle weight. It’s the same old story, a pound is a pound is a pound. A pound of muscle is still a pound. A pound of fat is still a pound. The difference is that the volume that pound of muscle takes up is much less, as illustrated below. This picture just makes perfect sense to me. And helps to explain what I am thinking or rather wishful thinking is happening in my body right now. I may be 155 pounds but I am hopefully, after 6 months of running, made up of a few more of those muscle pounds than I once was.
I’m afraid my afternoon is going to drag on now though. I just want to go home already and get to it. It looks like we might have sun and I want to be outside and doing stuff, getting ready for my garage sale. I’m eager to get to it because the sooner I get to it, the sooner I see the results of my efforts. I really am a results oriented kind of girl. 3 ½ hours left of work. I’ve got this…. Have a fabulous weekend!!!
1 comment:
Awesome picture!! I have never seen anything like that before. It totally makes sense to me though!
Post a Comment