Grateful

I’ve actually been quite busy today at work. Lately my Friday’s seem to be going that way plus its payday so I’ve had to do a lot with that. I am the only office person; well I’m the only girl who works here period. Nothing like working for a masonry company with 3 male bosses and then like 12 male co-workers. Anyway, I do love it.

The combination of being busy and not really having anything terribly exciting to say left me speechless this morning. I was pretty much running errands from the moment I came into work. I was also exceedingly hungry today. Most days I can honestly say I don’t even notice and/or experience hunger pains. I am more than full. Today I just feel HUNGRY. I ate the lunch I brought a WW Smart One’s flatbread pizza. It was delicious but I was still full. Just as I was contemplating what to do one of my bosses called and sent me on an errand to pick up some stone material to deliver to him on a jobsite. Perfect I thought, where do I want to stop and get something to eat??? I had to stop and think about what exactly I might want. I honestly wanted something that fill me up so that I didn’t walk around noticing that I was hungry.

As I was driving thru town I was tempted by many a fast food restaurant. I haven’t really eaten fast food in months and months but I was tempted. But I also didn’t want another whole meal, just a little snack. Finally I saw a Jamba Juice and went bingo… perfect! A nice little snack that is very healthy and delicious and hopefully filling with all the berries and such. I got a 16 ounce Berry Fulfilling for 4 weight watchers points. I wasn’t really planning on a 4 point snack but it certainly is a better choice than some of the things running thru my brain. It’s been a long time since I had a Jamba Juice. I used to drink them all the time and I totally remembered why… they are delicious! I sure hope that does the trick for me.

Otherwise today I feel happy and satisfied. And by satisfied (clearly not food wise) I do mean satisfied by my life. Last night as I lied in bed I told Chris I was really happy right now. Like happy with my life kind of happy. I was in a good place and I meant it. I’m pretty overall satisfied with things which usually means something has to go askew at some point. That perhaps is the pessimist in me talking. But I am happy. It’s been a long while since I was happy. Honestly I’d say the last time I was probably this happy was at least 3 or 4 months before we got married, 2 years ago. I am happy and healthy and excited to enjoy life. Excited that 3 months from today I will be on a plane to Hawaii. (Although I haven’t told my bosses yet) Excited about getting thru these next 3 months. Hell, excited for tomorrow. I am just generally happy and that is such a nice feeling to have.

I completely believe that if I just keep going as I’ve been going things will end up exactly as they should. I’m really hoping and believing that with age and maturity comes strength and knowledge. I have never been more in tune with my mental self than I am now. In less than 3 months I will be 34 years old, a far cry from the 24 year old who started weight watchers. I really feel like for the first time I understand that this is a lifestyle change not a diet. This is about living a healthier life not a perfectly dieted one. That only weigh-ing myself once a week is better for my psyche. That drinking water is the fountain of youth and strength for me. That there is beauty in the imperfection of the whole process. That I can falter and still thrive. That I am strong no matter what.

I have faith that this time, this soon to be 34 year old can manage this long term. That being healthy is really the prize. I spent the last two years being pretty miserable of my own doing and to suddenly have your life back and be happy, that is something that I don’t take for granted. Being able to lie in bed with my husband and truly feel blessed for my life is amazing.

I am happy with the person I am today. I am proud of all of my accomplishments and I truly don’t mean just losing weight the last 5 months. I am proud of the woman I’ve become. I’m proud of all the other steps I’ve taken in my life. I truly would not want to be anywhere else in my life or anyone else at this point. So I guess the theme of today is grateful. I am simply grateful for everything.

I went ahead and bought a groupon for a massage today as I am certain that sometime in the next 3 months I could fit it into my schedule. Tomorrow is my facial and I will have to see how that goes. I’ve never gotten one before so I’m kind of excited. Tonight I will run so that I can have my facial tomorrow and then hang out with my husband. I love being married. I love having such a wonderful amazing husband. I feel lucky for that as well. Anyway, I’ll quit with the overly happy stuff.

And in the course of typing this out the Jamba Juice seems to have cured my excessive hunger and I am grateful for that. Good solid choice it seems. Looking forward to my weekend for sure.