Thursday, May 21, 2015

Fashion Friday on a Thursday

Since I am going to be gone tomorrow I thought I'd better put up my fashion Friday early since I won't be wearing a workout outfit tomorrow this will be the conclusion of this week's outfits.  I just like documenting and tracking them.






Deep thoughts by Kevin Smith

I literally spent the entire morning and part of the early afternoon in the car. Driving around for work. I did not get back into the office until 2:45 PM.  This is insanity.  This makes me a tired grumpy girl.  BUT, it does make the day go by quickly as it is now almost time for me to leave. I guess that it has its perks.  

Last night I was pretty unsure of what I was going to do. It was rest day from running and I needed to strength train although my heart is so not in it. I considered a class at my old gym but something just didn’t sit so well in my stomach with that.  I was so unsure and then in the afternoon I got a text from Amanda saying to come to her gym and do her strength training class at 6:15. I took this as a sign from above that this was meant to be.  So I headed to her gym. I talked to her for a while beforehand and then got on the treadmill for a warm up. 

I finally figured it out last night.  A couple weeks ago when I was struggling so much on the treadmill and couldn’t stand it, I was at this new gym using these machines and for the life of me it was HARD.  I kept doubting my abilities and of course I was allergy sick so I know that was part of it. But last night as I got on the machine and put it at a solid 5.8 mph pace it was stupidly hard and funny.  And then it simply occurred to me that these machines are off.  Yes, I could be tired and yes I’m not putting it past anything that I’m drained and such but I could also just tell that these machines were calibrated differently. Ugh. After a couple minutes I was getting shin splints.  What the hell? I run 13 miles outside and I don’t get shin splints but this machine is giving them to me after a couple minutes. Clearly it’s a machine issue.  Whatever, I pushed on and ran 1.5 miles to warm up before class. I mostly just wanted to get my heart rate elevated a little bit.  And nothing does it for me like running.

I still find myself forever in search of the perfect motivation or the perfect next thing to keep me intrigued. My head jumps all over the place as if something else is out there that would give me more fulfillment, or make my life complete, or make me thinner. Whatever, blah, blah, blah.  It’s really quite retarded actually.  Instead of always being in search of the next greatest/latest thing I should probably just be happy. Of course happiness is evasive and somehow this morning I came across this gem that sums it up more than anything else I’ve ever seen in terms of the pursuit of happiness. This comes via Kevin Smith, the writer/director of all those independent movies, Mallrats/Clerks etc., I actually like him. But this was pretty perfect…
I've been around 44 years now, and I've been a round boy for most of those years as well. I always imagined thinner people were happier than me - but after losing 80 pounds, I can't say that I'm any happier than I was as a fat-ass. I'm not complaining, mind you: I just imagined I'd feel differently. I imagined I'd know a different kind of happiness than I'd never known before. Instead, I wound up learning what I consider to be the Secret of Happiness.
 As an American, I was raised to believe I was entitled to 100% happiness, all day every day, until I died. But in our Declaration of Independence, we’re granted only the PURSUIT of happiness -
not actual happiness. The founders of this country were smart not to promise the tired, the poor and the huddled masses yearning to breathe free too much of a good thing.
The good news is that the pursuit of happiness is way better than being happy any day. The irony is that actual happiness blasts us across our faces, necks and chests all the time - but we’re so busy chasing the elusive notion of what happiness is to us at that moment, we tend to overlook the authentic bliss we create for ourselves and others in the process of simply trying to be happy. And by the time we realize these were, in fact, moments of happiness, it's too late: those moments are now memories.
Happiness can't be bottled. It can't be smoked, swallowed, shot or ejaculated. And there is no end game: you never cross the finish line and are suddenly happy. Even when all your wildest dreams come true, you still pursue happiness.
Thankfully, human beings are at their happiest when they feel they're at their most productive. So the only real happiness is the pursuit of happiness. When we chase happy, we feel our best. Life is about the journey, not the destination - so while the idea of happiness sounds great, it’s actually the pursuit of happiness that provides the most contentment. And in that pursuit, we are ultimately at our happiest.
 I really have never seen it said so articulately.  A, that losing 80 pounds didn’t make him any happier and B, that no matter what we are dispositioned to always search for happiness.  And that unto itself is what happiness is. The pursuit of happiness. This makes total sense to me and completely resonated with everything I feel.  I am my happiest when I am perusing a goal or dream. It is the pursuit of happiness that is glorious. It is the memory that is the happiness. It is entirely hard to live in the moment.  I really loved reading this today because it was exactly what I needed to hear.  That in a nutshell it is okay to constantly be searching for happiness and that that is the happiness of life.  It makes sense to me.  If nothing else it made me feel a little more sane for constantly searching for things.  For happiness. Yes, I am happy but I constantly want more. I constantly look for the next big thing.  I guess that is the American dream, that good old pursuit of happiness.
 I never considered Kevin Smith so profound but we all have our moments. Which leads me to another thing on my brain today. 153 exactly this morning on the scale. Yup, I can’t get past 153.  Here I go pursuing something greater yet again.  Is 153 so bad? No, not really.  Is 153 or rather staying exactly 153 from a Thursday to a Thursday actually pretty good considering all the garbage that was consumed in between those points in time?   My weekend was a full on binge candy fest complete with frosted sugar cookies and recces peanut butter cups galore.  So realistically I should be thankful that the number read the exact same as it did last Thursday. 
But honestly my body doesn’t want to budge from 153 no matter what I do.  I have the most perfect on point week with healthy eating and exercise and I’m 153.  I have a shit week where I eat crap and its 153.  I’ve been 153 for a solid month.  I suppose that’s not horrible. It’s clearly my set point and I don’t think I look bad so should I care so much that I’m 153? No I’m sure I shouldn’t.  I should clearly not even worry about that number. In my heart I know that.  I know when I stop looking at that number I probably will do better.  I should head my own advice and give it a rest. Much easier said than done, right?
I am actually just dying to go home right now.  I feel like I’ve been totally all over the place today and I really just want to breathe a sigh of relief that this week is finally over. Tomorrow is my grandpa’s funeral so I will not be at work tomorrow.  I just want to get thru this final hour and then I get to go to the gym or go home and run outside. I haven’t really decided yet what I’m doing.  We shall see. Tomorrow is funeral day and therefore rest day from exercise. I need it.  A true rest day where I don’t do anything intentionally physical.  Nice.
 Saturday morning I am doing an 8k run, which is 5 miles.  It was a last minute spur of the moment sign-up.  Chris & I will both be doing it.  It is close to home, well closer, but close to one of the place’s Chris likes to go fishing so after we run I’m going to bring some things to do and he is going to fish for an hour or two and that’s fine with me.  Good way to spend some time outside.  Then Sunday I have a 10k Rum Run race.  And yes, there will be Rum in the form of mojitos.  Yummy!  And Hawaiian food.  It’s a fun event.  So 5 miles on Saturday and 6.2 miles on Sunday.  Good enough.  But ultimately I just need to get thru tonight’s run first.
 My brain is fairly all over the place today.  I’d really just like it to be 5 PM already.  And it’s Memorial Day weekend. And I have Monday off. And Monday is Chris’s Birthday and then Wednesday is my birthday. And yesterday was my dog Molly’s birthday.   Yup, random brain day.  Eek.  Okay. Sigh. Just relax.

merican, I was raised to believe I was entitled to 100% happiness, all day every day, until I died. But in our Declaration of Independence, we’re granted only the PURSUIT of happiness -
not actual happiness. The founders of this country were smart not to promise the tired, the poor and the huddled masses yearning to breathe free too much of a good thing
Happiness can't be bottled. It can't be smoked, swallowed, shot or ejaculated. And there is no end game: you never cross the finish line and are suddenly happy. Even when all your wildest dreams come true, you still pursue happiness.
Thankfully, human beings are at their happiest when they feel they're at their most productive. So the only real happiness is the pursuit of happiness. When we chase happy, we feel our best. Life is about the journey, not the destination - so while the idea of happiness sounds great, it’s actually the pursuit of happiness that provides the most contentment. And in that pursuit, we are ultimately at our happiest.
The good news is that the pursuit of happiness is way better than being happy any day. The irony is that actual happiness blasts us across our faces, necks and chests all the time - but we’re so busy chasing the elusive notion of what happiness is to us at that moment, we tend to overlook the authentic bliss we create for ourselves and others in the process of simply trying to be happy. And by the time we realize these were, in fact, moments of happiness, it's too late: those moments are now memories.
Happiness can't be bottled. It can't be smoked, swallowed, shot or ejaculated. And there is no end game: you never cross the finish line and are suddenly happy. Even when all your wildest dreams come true, you still pursue happiness.
Thankfully, human beings are at their happiest when they feel they're at their most productive. So the only real happiness is the pursuit of happiness. When we chase happy, we feel our best. Life is about the journey, not the destination - so while the idea of happiness sounds great, it’s actually the pursuit of happiness that provides the most contentment. And in that pursuit, we are ultimately at our happiest.
Happiness can't be bottled. It can't be smoked, swallowed, shot or ejaculated. And there is no end game: you never cross the finish line and are suddenly happy. Even when all your wildest dreams come true, you still pursue happiness.
Thankfully, human beings are at their happiest when they feel they're at their most productive. So the only real happiness is the pursuit of happiness. When we chase happy, we feel our best. Life is about the journey, not the destination - so while the idea of happiness sounds great, it’s actually the pursuit of happiness that provides the most contentment. And in that pursuit, we are ultimately at our happiest.

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

4 months



In exactly 4 months from today I will be on the island of Maui running a marathon, most likely at this exact time. Realizing that it is precisely 4 months away is terrifying.  When I first made this decision it seemed like months and months away (It was February so it was), but 4 months seems CLOSE. 4 months seems soon. Do you realize how quickly 4 months passes?  I do and that is what is terrifying.  Wow. Okay. It will all be okay. Just trust the process and I will be able to do it.  Trust the plan.  And by all accounts I am killing it on my plan. I am enjoying my plan and running so I guess I shouldn’t really feel the need to jump 4 months ahead just yet.

Yesterday I was off.  I think going to the gym Monday night and feeling like I had zero desire to strength train really threw me off.  I wasn’t looking forward to going last night at all. Like zero.  And then I walked outside after work, dressed in my workout clothes, and the weather was seriously so ridiculously perfect to run that I immediately thought, you know what, let’s just run outside.  Problem solved.  It was like I felt relief.  I am trying to give myself permission to do less than I have done.  I’m trying to give myself some slack and allow myself these next 4 months to focus on running.  I am so used to being the girl who does everything that sometimes I am so much harder on myself than I have any right to be. At the end of the day I don’t have to answer to anyone else but myself.  I have to do what is best for me.  And perhaps a little bit my husband.  But ultimately it’s about us and what we are doing. With that said I sure am glad we have the same goals in life. It’s nice that he loves to run to. I haven’t said it enough but it truly makes my life so much more enjoyable that we share the same thing.

Anyway, I remembered why going home immediately after work is hard.  Instead of instantly wanting to run, I really thought about not doing anything and sitting down on the couch instead.  It’s a very real struggle.  But I was already in my workout clothes so that made it a little easier.  I kept telling myself I only have to run 3 miles. I can do that.  No matter what I can run 3 miles.  So I put on my belt, loaded up the music and started to run.  The first little bit by your house before you hit actual roads is hard.  I had to cross a major road with traffic and I was not able to keep a good pace the first little bit.  For the first couple minutes it felt like torture. And then when I finally crossed into the gorgeous sidewalk rich neighborhood I felt great.  Like so great that I was running at a 9:30 pace, and then at times I was running at a 9 minute mile pace.  I managed that for a solid mile and a half.  Each turn felt easy and breathless. I was thoroughly enjoying the entire experience. It helped that the weather was crazy perfect for running which was the whole point to begin with.

Once I was on my game I felt amazing and did not regret this decision at all.  I felt reinvigorated.  I felt happiness and a sense of wholeness in my heart. The entire reason why I love running to begin with.  I don’t set out with any plan or route in mind. I just run and make split second decisions on turning when they are presented to me.  But when I got to 3 miles I knew I wasn’t really done yet and had already decided that I felt so good I was going to do 4.5 miles, which was one of the longer runs my training plan called for during the week. I’d knock out 4.5 miles right now.  And I didn’t regret this decision either.  Eventually around mile 3.75 I made a turn to head back towards my house.  After so many miles logged on roads outside over the course of last year I have a good inner sense of mileage. I knew I was about half a mile from my house and made all the appropriate turns to get me very close to my house around 4.5 miles.  In fact, I was turning onto my street at 4.42 miles and I was able to run up to my house at 4.48 miles, ran past just a moment and back and hit 4.5 miles in front of my house.  Perfect. 

Overall, it was a fabulous run.  With the having to slow at the start and end of the race for traffic an such my time was 44 minutes 50 seconds and was a 9:58 minute mile. But truthfully most of it was run at a better pace than that.  I’m getting a little faster and this was the proof in my mind that this training plan is working the way it’s supposed to. Sure I couldn’t keep up the 9:20 pace for the whole 4.5 miles. But keeping it for 1.5-2 miles is a step.  And every single step on every single run is getting me closer to my end game.  I  am feeling confident in my abilities and that’s what I needed.  This run was a far cry from some of those horrible runs I had where I couldn’t even keep an 11 minute mile pace not so long ago.  The more you do it, the better it gets. 

When I got home I felt high.  Seriously. On top of the world. And this is the feeling I can only get by running outside.  It doesn’t happen that often on a treadmill for obvious reasons. Most of those runs are really torturous at best.  There is nothing more organic and natural than running outside in beautiful weather with the fresh air surrounding you along tree lined streets.  There is just something magical about it.  And I tried to let go of the feeling that “only” doing a 45 minute run was good enough for the night.  That I wasn’t a failure because I didn’t put out more effort than that.  I am trying to forgive myself and pace myself a little bit.

I do however really feel like I need a night off tonight from running. Mentally I want to, but physically I think I would be better off taking a rest day from the run.  Sunday I did 13.1, Monday 3 miles and yesterday 4.5.   I think I should take today off.  Well, other than a 1.5 mile warm up run.  I can do that just to elevate my heart rate some.  Maybe I should try and run it fast. Do as much of a sprint as my body will allow.  And then I really need to do some strength training. I should be more excited about this than I am at the moment. 

I am obviously very running focused right now which I do believe happened to me last year at this time as well.  I kind of recall feeling this same exact way about the gym and my surroundings last year.  But the biggest difference between last year and this year is that I really don’t care this year about this fact.  Last year I felt conflicted and I let the gym world or people get inside my head.  This year, I know, in my heart, what I’m doing is perfect for me.  This is who I am. This is what I want. This is what is right for me.

I have accepted in the past year that running is my true love. And I make no apologies for choosing running over the gym and whatever consequences it may have on my body. Nope. Don’t care. Meaning if I have to sacrifice a certain amount of muscle for running.  What I gain from the running community is far greater.

I am exactly 1 week away from being 36 years old. I am beyond the point in my life where I have to justify my actions or decisions to other people.  I have no doubt the time will come again where I will want to step away from running and refocus on muscle building, but for now I am just doing what my heart desires.  And it says run, run, run. Happiness is found in a big shiny medal. And a t-shirt you will never wear of course!

I feel better today. I feel better than okay. And that is the single best endorsement I can think of for running. I only feel this way because I had a great run yesterday.  I’d say someday I will figure this all out, but I honestly sincerely doubt it.  Life is a constant ever changing battle against what is thrown at you.  No one ever really figures it all out.  But I know one thing for sure, in 4 months’ time I will be running around the island of Maui and I couldn’t be prouder of that decision.  And I’ll be danged if I won’t give it my all to be prepared when I get there!

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Just okay



It is later than usual for me for an update. Partly because I don’t feel like I have a ton to say and partly because I had a busy morning at work.  We had an employment department audit which is always mentally nerve racking because someone comes in and goes over all your paperwork and financials (the business) and ultimately part of this is my responsibility.  We did pretty good and everything looked smooth according to the auditor so that was nice. But that did take up the majority of my morning. Glad that is *almost* done.  It’s a relief because I was slightly nervous about this audit for a little while.

Anyway, I’m feeling okay today. Just okay.  I’ve been better, I’ve been far worse. For some reason lately I just haven’t really been feeling the whole gym thing.  It’s weird I know. But I guess we all go in these cycles where you are majorly into something and then you aren’t.  It mostly just seems like a chore as of late and my heart hasn’t been all that into it.  I think there is clearly only so much that one single person can focus on.  I only have so many “eggs” to place in a basket and when you put so many into one thing there isn’t much left over for the other baskets. 

I’m back to putting lots of eggs in the running basket and this leaves very few for the weight lifting one.  This will come and go.  Once I get to my goal (Maui Marathon) then I am sure I will be ready once again to redistribute my eggs.  That sounds like some sort of breeding metaphor doesn’t it?  I am not talking about procreating. Ha Ha.  I still think ultimately I feel a little out of place at any particular gym.  I go in these stretches where I like a place and think I could get comfortable there and then I get thrown off.  And then I go to a different gym and try that out again.  I keep flip flopping and consequently am totally completely unsure of anything.  I guess it’s just never going to be what it was and I guess that is pretty much the story of life.  I shall eventually have to readjust things. I mean, this is a forever battle after all.

Basically it’s pretty clear to me that I am one of those people that will forever always have to have some goal to focus on or I flounder.  Without my marathon goal I am not entirely sure what I’d be doing right now.  This makes me wonder what my next personal challenge will be.  What I am going to set my sights on after this. I really don’t even know yet I guess one goal at a time.  Last year at this time I probably would have said you were crazy thinking I’d be going to Maui to run a full marathon. Wait, I actually still think I am crazy. 

For the record last night I ran 3 miles and then did a shoulder/bicep workout.  Finished the night at about 1 hour 15 minutes and 475 calories. So overall a good night. Not crazy but not bad either.  I literally had to force myself to do those exercises.  Sometimes it’s hard. Harder than it should be.  Tonight I am supposed to run 3 miles and then I was going to do some legs. Not crazy heavy legs because I really don’t actually have much desire to be unable to walk sufficiently for the next couple days. I am thinking high rep lower weight stuff.  I actually need to work up some sort of plan here soon.

Oh, and last night I just let go on the food and ate everything in sight so that’s great.  Nothing like multiple days of pigging out.  Geesh.  Whatever.  I was hungry. Crazy hungry.  Running so much really does make you famished. 

I’ve done pretty good today at keeping the eating under control thus far. But it’s not the days that I worry about the most.  It’s definitely the night time munchies that do me in.  But I am not going to complain today. I am simply not.  Today despite being just okay feeling, I am in fact happy to be in my skin and happy about what my body is capable of.  I am working on just being the best me there is and that is good enough. 

Monday, May 18, 2015

Sleep is Magic for 13.1

I had what I considered to be a fantabulous weekend.  I am not actually sure if fantabulous is a word but I like it!  Ultimately I decided on Friday that I was putting far too much pressure on myself about health/weight etc., and that I needed to take a chillax pill and just live in a happy place for a couple days.  This meant no stressing over food or what I should/shouldn’t do or eat.  Just chill the fuck out.  My body was exhausted for a reason and I ultimately needed to rest it and be nice to it.  It seemed to do the trick.

I let it all go on Friday and pretty much all weekend and I feel so much better.  I probably let it go a little too much. There is rarely an in-between total health nut and crazy binge girl but whatever.  Friday night was exhausted for me so I just watched some TV, ate some dinner, relaxed and went to bed at a decent time.  Saturday morning I woke up and knew I had to drive to Portland for packet pick-up.  I really didn’t want to go alone and suddenly had a wonderful idea. I called my sister to see if my niece was available for the day for a little girl time.  I would go to packet pick up with her but use the opportunity to hit up the mall and take her to Build-A-Bear where she had some gift cards and generally just hang out at the mall.  She is a 10 year old girl so basically the mall is one of her favorite things. 

It was a great idea as ultimately I had a very lovely time hanging out with her and having some company on my car ride.  It’s good to do one on one time here and there with the kids.  Packet pick up was relatively simple and then we hit the mall.  It was fun to see her design her build a dog as it was and then accessorize her.  She has a bit of a stuffed animal fetish so this was kind of perfect.  Then we went to GNC where I got some Quest bars and then the Lego Store in the mall where she built 3 mini-figures, 2 for herself and 1 for her brother and I also picked up my nephew a new Lego set seeing as he did not get to go to the mall. 

We then got some food, as were both starving and I threw caution to the wind and had Taco Time.  Yup, taco and mexi fries and it was good and I didn’t care.  Trying to not stress myself out and just live life.  Then of course the girl had to hit up Claire’s where she spends far too long making decisions.  But she’s a little girl and it’s okay.  Claire’s is like her store, all those shiny pretties. It’s really cute actually.

We managed to drive home, make 1 more stop for dog treats, and then I returned her to her mother. It was a pretty lovely day actually.  Chris got home and we toyed with the idea of going to my mom’s house where there was a gathering but ultimately did not as we were both trying to mentally get ready for the half yesterday.  We made the right decision.  I need more sleep as a general rule for recovery and somehow found that Saturday night, after getting all our stuff ready for the morning, we were in bed by 9 PM. Rare for a Saturday night but ultimately a great thing.  I watched TV for about another hour, or less, not sure before I dozed off.  Which means that I got at minimum 8 solid hours of sleep.  We woke up at 6 AM, to get ready for our half.  This was a manageable time and I felt okay, because I had proper sleep.

We made the drive to Portland.  Got everything situation, bag check, pre run potty.  I love Rock N Roll races, which this one was. They are LARGE, big races which typically might not be my favorite but they are so well organized that they always go off flawlessly.

When I finally started running I felt amazing.  I felt ultra-comfortable and ready.  This is what comes of 2 days rest prior. Clearly the right decision in the end for me.  I needed the break.  So I was running comfortably at like a 9:30-9:40 minute mile pace which felt awesome.  I did this solidly for 3 miles, but almost immediately the course was off mileage.  It was definitely running long. By mile 3 it was a solid .15 miles off.  I know this seems petty to most but when you are working on times it’s annoying.  I was running great and hit the 5k mark, 3.1 somewhere around 29:30 which is a good time for me but of course the “official” 5k mark came almost .15 tenths later and my time was officially 30 something.  Bummer.  Never mind, I was feeling awesome and like I could keep this pace for a while and then at mile 3.5 a giant uphill section began.  And suddenly the time, the pace, the comfortable feeling came crashing down.

I try to run up the hills but it’s pretty hard. Your run isn’t much better than a fast walk.  But you try.  I pushed on. Hoping it would level out at some point so I could get my awesome groove back.  Pretty much I felt like from mile 3.5 to the end of the race really I was running an uphill battle literally.  Nothing crazy steep but always a slight incline. Annoying.  But it could also be that the body registers every slight variation in incline so much more profoundly than it does flat sections or the brief downhill’s that it feels like you are always going up.  More torturous moments for sure.

Eventually I found my pace and it was around 10 minute miles.  I felt really good at this pace for quite a while.  There were a few more giant walking hills for a few moments. A few water break 20 second stops and my average pace was solidly at 10:04 minute miles all the way up until Mile 10 almost. I was feeling ecstatic.  And then my body started to slow a bit.  And another hill, and it doesn’t take much and your pace goes down.  Realistically I wanted to do as well as I did at the Corvallis Half last month when I did like 2:15:35.  That was my goal.  But I also knew the mileage was completely off at this one, whereas Corvallis was dead on. I finished at like 13.12 miles which is perfect.  By Mile 10 I knew we were going to be so off.  By the time I’d see the mile marker on the course for say mile 10, my watch would read 10.35 miles.  Ugh. Depressing. I knew those couple extra tenths of a mile would throw off my pace.  Bummer.

But I pushed on.  It got hard at the end, but overall I was still feeling pretty damned awesome.  Thankful I was able to run at this pace considering last weekend it was a nightmare and at mile 11 or so mentally I just wanted to give up. My pace slowed incredibly etc.  Not happening this weekend and I was thankful that in a week’s time I could see so much improvement.

As I finally made it closer to the finish I saw my watch was close to 13.1 but the finish line was still off.  As my watch clicked to 13.1 I made a mental note of my time it was 2:15 and a few seconds so technically I at least matched my Corvallis time, unofficially of course because when I finally crossed the line my watch was 13.32 miles and 2:17 something.  My official recorded time was 2:17:07.  But I know I definitely ran at the same pace as I did in Corvallis which was lovely for me.  I reached my mental goal and that was what I wanted.  I felt great.  I needed that run.  I needed that reminder that I can run 13.1 miles at around a 10:20 pace.  Unofficially my pace was 10:18 minute miles.  This is lovely to me.  This is a 5.8 speed.  I can run at a 5.8 speed for a whole 13.1 miles.  Actually 13.32 miles.  That is craziness to me. Especially when sometimes I get on a treadmill and the 5.8 pace seems hard and I can barely manage 30 minutes.  I know that I can endure this pace for over 2 freaking hours. That’s cool.

One of these days I will run a flat course and hopefully the stars and moon will align and I will be having a good day and go a little faster. At this point I’d like to keep a 10 minute mile pace for a whole race. That would be my next goal.  But baby steps.  Simply having a good run where I felt great was all I was after.  Everything else is icing on the cake.

Guess what my friends, after the race I didn’t throw up. I didn’t even feel that sick.  I had a slight moment where I thought I felt a little queasy but then it went away.  I managed to do a run and not get sick.  This is an improvement for me as well.  Perhaps by body is readjusting once again to the strain of the half.  I didn’t throw up after runs last year so feeling so sick lately had been annoying.  Glad that I managed yesterday.  But I did feel psychotically hungry and tired. 

We went home and I ate and ate and ate.  Yup, ate so freaking much it wasn’t funny.  I couldn’t eat enough. I was that hungry. Oops.  And then I just wanted to sleep.  I think I napped a little here and there and then finally fell asleep on the couch at like 9 PM for good, woke up at 10 and went to bed and was pretty much out instantly, solidly.  As a result I feel really good today.  Last Monday I felt really tired all day long and I think it was because of lack of proper sleep.  Today I feel amazing!  Lots of good sleep and I guess lots of food in my belly and I feel like I have energy and desire and everything I need to workout. 

I get the feeling that last week I wasn’t really treating my body were well or giving it what it needed to function hence the day in day out tired and cranky.  I already notice a difference today with enough sleep.  I truly believe I might need to make an effort to go to bed earlier than later to have the energy to accomplish my goals.

This week I have a 3 mile run, and two 4.5 mile runs on the schedule for the week.  Friday is going to be a rest day as it is my Grandpa’s funeral and that’s going to be a big all day thing.  I have a 10k run on Sunday scheduled but no half’s.  Actually no half this week and no half next weekend.  2 weekends off from halves before we go into a 3 week stretch of them. Starting in June 3 half’s in 3 weekends.   My training plan of course still calls for runs these next 2 weekends so I will try and get that all figured in.  I feel like my actual training plan during the week is helping me on the weekends.  Yes its more running than I’ve done in a while but I think it’s going to help me be a better runner ultimately.  I have to sacrifice some lifting in the process but it’s only for like 4 months and it’s goal focused on my Maui trip.  When I return from Maui and start to back off from running a little I can get back into heavier lifting.  This is a lifelong pursuit of health and happiness and if for 4 months I shift focus it’s perfectly okay.  I do love running in a way nothing else in my life can come close to touching. Running these races is truly my happiness on so many levels. 


I am really proud of my efforts yesterday, and I beat my time from last year’s Portland Rock N Roll by like almost 7 minutes so that’s a big plus as well. Motivation is a really good thing! Tonight I’m going to the gym and I feel really good.  Not sure what’s quite on the agenda just yet, but it’s all good. Have a great Monday!