Friday, November 5, 2010

Leaving on a jetplane...

I am alive, barely. It was a rough week that’s for sure. I was extremely exhausted most of the time. Just literally my body was working so hard to fight infection that I was barely keeping it together. Ultimately I decided somewhere around Tuesday that it was okay to give myself this week off from caring about food and exercise. Yes, I know it will be harder to get back into the swing of things, but truly my body needed me to let it rest appropriately and try and heal itself. One night I could not function and ended up in bed at 8:30 where I did not rise again until 8:00 AM the next morning. Yup, I was that tired.

I am feeling better the latter part of this week. Thank goodness because tomorrow I am getting on a plane to go to Vegas. I seriously doubted my ability to have any fun earlier in the week when I was too tired to move. I feel like I have a smidge more energy now and couple that with just overall excitement and things should hopefully be okay when I land in Nevada. I certainly don’t have the excitement for it I had last week, but at this point I’ll take it.

I just realized I did a really stupid thing. I’ve been so good about my antibiotics, but this morning I was rushing around and totally spaced taking my 8 AM pill and to make matters worse I forgot to grab a pill for my 2 PM time. I’m pissed actually. I am going to have to run home and get them, I don’t want to miss 2 pills, and I don’t need any of the infection returning especially when I get ready to head on a plane to Vegas. Ugh. Guess that’s what I get for rushing. It’s crazy because I make myself wake up at 2 AM to take the pill and then I forget my 8 AM one… oh, the irony of life I guess.

I have been trying to do some early Christmas shopping. The last two years it’s been like the beginning of December and I haven’t bought a single thing, it always ends up being stressful. This year I’m trying to start hitting things up early. There was a Barbie dream mansion at Costco I saw a few weeks back and finally convinced my sister it was a good idea to get for my niece. It took convincing because of the size of a doll house. Anyhow, when I went back to buy it but 2 weeks later they were all sold out. I freaked. I mean, this is not a cheap item really. I was shocked. I asked them to call around to all other Costco’s in the area and they did find me one. I drove the 25 minutes to the next Costco to procure the item. Glad I did. Apparently you can’t wait to long for a good deal.

I’ve scored some pretty good deals in the last week on little items online. Victoria Secret is running some good promotions as well as last Friday I scored some great Stila cosmetics for a killer price. Great stocking stuffers for the family! Couponing Christmas is a lot more fun and challenging than just running out and buying things last minute off the shelf. Should definitely make for an interesting Christmas. Lots of good fun stuff!

Anyhow, on top of it all I’ve been pretty busy at work and of course being Friday and being gone next Monday and Tuesday I definitely have a lot to get accomplished today. It’s always busy. Plus I have to pack tonight. And given my daze of this last week I feel not nearly as prepared as I should be. I haven’t given to much thought to my wardrobe which is sad because I really wanted to get some cute ensembles put together. Instead I have a feeling I’m just going to be throwing clothes in. I am sure I feel calmer and more ready tonight after I get all my stuff packed and my shit together.

Maybe I will got home and try and get ready, try on some clothes, attempt to get packing in order and then maybe the stress level will go down and Chris and I can hit up happy hour at Applebee’s (after 9 PM) where I get my drink on early with margarita’s. No sense not starting the vacation one day early! But that’s only if things go well and the way my week’s been going I doubt that is going to happen. Not trying to be negative Nancy here, but it’s been a rough one. Ugh.

So I’m going to attempt to fully enjoy myself in Vegas, a la, not care about the food and exercise stuff, and then when I return next week, pounds heavier, eh, I am going to get right back on track. I know I will and it’s all good. I intend to facebook my 4 day Vegas experience with pictures and posts throughout the day, just to annoy all those people who are working. Is that wrong? No, not really to annoy them. Honestly because I love it when people are on vacation and post their photos because it gives me a happy to see people doing happy things…. Sounds so gay, but its true. I get enjoyment out of other peoples enjoyment. So I won’t be around here for the next four days but you can find me on facebook for a little update :)

Anyway, I will return on Wednesday, hopefully having had an amazing trip.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

It's all swell

I am tired. I always get my mid afternoon/late afternoon slump around this time. I am full of energy and ready to go all day long and then 3 hits and suddenly I just want to nap. I had a very busy morning running errands and now I’m back in the office and want to curl up into a little ball and sleep. That’s not going to happen. Yesterday afternoon I made some calls around town looking for a cheaper dentist, seeing what my options were. My mom did some leg work on my behalf as well, working in the dental industry and ultimately we came up with a doctor next door to my mom’s who, because of association will do the work for $1,900. I am going to put down $1,000 and he will let me make payments on the rest. I haven’t worked out all the details yet, but I will go in on Thursday for an initial consult and have the work done when I return from Vegas, after the penicillin course is completely taken.

I have to say that the swelling has gone down some, but ultimately I expected more of over 24 hours worth of medicine in my body. The swelling is down to what would be considered barely noticeable. What is however VERY noticeable for me is the pain in the mouth. What’s left is a tender spot that feels like somebody clobbered me in the face and it’s painful. I certainly am not at my best and that’s frustrating. I understand that things take time and I am hopeful that in another 24 hours or so things will continue to improve greatly. We will see. I just want to be at my best for Vegas. I never get to take vacations and I was so excited and then this happens and I’m just in pain. Ugh. The universe has a warped sense of humor and I DON’T approve. Remain positive!

My body is definitely working overtime to heal itself. I just pray it happens soon enough. I also feel a sense of relief at finally being able to take care of my tooth problem. Yes, it’s still going to cost me a lot of money, but ultimately living pain free will be nice. I’ve had this tooth pain for quite some time, always knowing this would be the ultimate outcome, expenses that I can’t really afford. However, I am never really going to be able to afford them and my body has made the decision for me that I can’t put it off any longer. I’m really looking forward to feeling human again. (No more Buzz light-year for me!) This all came about on Saturday so it’s been too many days of constant pain. I need it to go away so I can get back to feeling excited and happy about Vegas. I dyed my hair last night so that it was all blonde and pretty for Vegas. Part of feeling better is faking it until you make it. From all of my coupon shopping escapades I have like 20 some boxes of hair dye so it will be a while before I run out and also a while before I’d even consider paying anyone else to dye by hair. Free hair dye works just fine for me.

Not too much else to report honestly. Just trying to live thru the pain and make it thru the next couple days. I am wearing fabulous stretchy skinny jeans from Old Navy with adorable boots. That makes me happy… That is my kind thought for the day. Despite how I feel on the inside physically, I actually managed to pull it together pretty well this morning and look okay. Newly dyed hair and cute outfit. That’s a plus!

Monday, November 1, 2010


Well, um, yeah, this weekend was both good and bad. The biggest issue is that on Saturday afternoon/night my face started swelling up. Yup, my jaw line on the right side of my face was all puffy and hurt. I have a tooth that I’ve known was bad for some time, but now it decided to manifest itself in a big old swell. I was dreading this day. This meant that yesterday I was completely swollen, completely tired and defeated and I just lied on the couch the entire day. I’m not going to lie, it hurt. Hurt more than I care to admit. Plus I look like a chipmunk or rather I told Chris I feel like Buzz Light year because I have a totally box-y face.

I don’t have dental insurance. It’s one of those things when you make such a limited salary that you have to give up. It’s our damned health care system at its best. Anyhow, I know its stupid and I’m going to get some, but getting some means having a 6 month waiting period for any major services. I don’t think this can wait 6 months. Regardless, having the insurance and having it in place to be preventative in all future services is a good thing, actually a horrible oversight on my part as my face is now testament to that.

Anyhow, I cried yesterday. It hurt. I called my mom who is a dental assistant and ended up at her office at 7:30 AM this morning. The doctor took x-rays and looked and it and basically I can’t even have the 2 teeth removed because they are all deeply rooted, etc, and I’d have to go to an oral surgeon which is more money. He can do root canal therapy and crowns, and the estimate is $4,676.00 Yup. Like I have that kind of money. I understand it needs to be done. Believe me, my face knows it. I did get a prescription for penicillin to take the swelling away. I immediately ran and got that filled and took my first course of it. It’s not fun having a swollen face. At least the pain has subsided. It’s just swollen and uncomfortable. I’m in the middle of trying to determine what I’m going to do. I don’t think this is going to wait 6 months. I also know that I don’t have $4,700 to pay. I don’t even have a credit card. I might be able to work out making a larger payment and then monthly payments but even so it seems like a lot of money.

I called Chris and I cried. I make $20,000 a year and can’t afford dental insurance and then my face swells up and I’m in pain and now you tell me it’s going to cost me $4,700 to fix it? Sure shit I want it fixed. I’ve known for a long time that it wasn’t right but I also knew this is what was going to happen. I just cried. I want to make things right. I want to be preventative in the future because I don’t want this to happen again. This is another repercussion of poor choices earlier in my life coming back to bite me in the ass. I am going to get insurance, wait the 6 months and then get any other future problems taken care of so that they don’t escalate into root canals and crowns. But that doesn’t help me much now with the giant problems I have.

And what happens if I can’t afford the $4,700, which I really can’t? I’m supposed to keep badly infected teeth in my mouth untreated so that I can keep swelling up and have it affect my overall health? That is what is happening. It is slowly sucking the life out of the rest of me and the rest of my general health. I just don’t know. Seriously, don’t know what I’m going to do.

The food/and or exercise this weekend was not that great. Shocking. I did run on Friday night which was good. Took off Saturday as I ran around and did some errands and then my aforementioned face swelling occurred and then despite it I went to the Halloween party at my cousins on Saturday night. DRUNKEN times, and yeah, I did get drunk. Was out until about 1 AM and then came home, puked up later in the night and then iced my face over and over. I had intended to run yesterday; all I could do was lye on the couch and force myself to get up to pee. That was exercise enough for me. Seriously.

Now I’m heart broken and defeated and not sure what I’m going to do, staring at myself in a mirror with a swollen ass face. No fun. Hoping the penicillin kicks in, which it will I know. I just want to feel better because this Saturday I’m going to Vegas. In 6 days I’m getting on a plane and yeah, I need to be excited about that. Right now I don’t have the desire or energy to be excited about anything. I’m just sad about my face situation. I know I will snap out of it. Overall I’m not a depressed person; I’m a happy person and want to snap back. I just need to figure out how to deal with this first.