Rebound

Time and sleep. They truly are the miracle drug that we all look for. There is nothing as healing as both of them. As every one of those little sayings go, each day we wake up fresh with a chance to do it all over again. Today I am grateful for that. Nothing puts life into perspective quite like a good night’s sleep followed by a little time and perspective on issues. It’s not as if in a 24 hour period suddenly all my problems have gone away… they haven’t unfortunately… but the thing is nothing is as serious as it could be. I love time for this simple reason. Time goes on no matter what you do (and thank goodness for this reality) and everything you thought was so important doesn’t have to be. Time can be our friend if we let it.

Perhaps I am also just feeling better because I am so proud of my behaviors thru a turbulent time. There is always that lingering fear in the back of your head that great you’ve managed to make healthy choices when things were going great and you want it but what happens when times get tough? In particular you know all those triggers and feelings that made you gain weight to begin with… you know… what happens when those return? Mental issues that cause weight gain never really go away. How we deal with them can change, but they don’t just suddenly go away. Sure, a problem may resolve itself but I promise you this a new one will just pop up in its place. It’s not the problem itself that is the issue; it’s how we deal with it. I think I have been scared for months that I haven’t learned how to deal with the problem; instead I just didn’t have the same ugly problem rear its head. Now that I’ve navigated thru the problem successfully I feel much more confident in my ability to move forward from here.

Time, perspective and lovely sleep. The best combination in the world. Yesterday I controlled the only things I could control and made great decisions. I ran to the grocery store and picked up some items that I really needed. Staples. Lettuce, spinach, bananas, more weight watchers Smart One meals for lunch and some more Greek yogurt for my smoothie making. However, when I was down the yogurt isle I decided to try some of the flavored Greek yogurt as well. I have never been a yogurt fan. I know it’s good for you and I want to like it but I just don’t. However eating yogurt in my smoothies has given me some courage to venture out and try with the whole Greek, new and improved thing. Yesterday for an afternoon snack I had a 3 point Greek Yogurt Pomegranate. Um… it was delicious. I am not sure why I resisted the Greek yogurt trend for so long. I brought a tropical fruit mix for a snack today. What a great protein rich snack. See excellent food choices yesterday. Plus bananas and apples. Can’t beat that!

Last night, keeping with my I will control what I can control attitude I got on the treadmill and I felt amazing about myself physically yesterday. Monday night after my shower I applied Victoria Secret’s bronzer so yesterday I was rocking an incredible fake tan! I mean, I still have it today but boy do I feel better about myself when I have a fake tan. I wonder why that is. I feel like I glow and that makes me happy. Anyway…. I put on a cute workout outfit and was ready to watch the new Biggest Loser.

I was feeling really good about my body and decided that maybe I didn’t need the t-shirt over the sports bra when I was running. If I’m being completely honest I can admit that I kind of wanted to see my gorgeous fake tan in the mirror while I ran. Vain I know :) Anyway, it was a victory and I’ll tell you why… When I started running I wore tank tops over my sports bra because at 220 pounds one does not want to run in only a sports bra and pants. Too much giggle everywhere. But I soon discovered that as I ran and sweated too much my underarms started to chafe. The fat rubbing together hurt. I quickly had to turn to t-shirts to provide a layer between my arm fat and body fat. It did the trick, no more chaffing.

For the last 5 months I wear sports bra and then t-shirt. Last night I had an ah-ha moment where I was like, I wonder if I really still *need* to wear a t-shirt to prevent arm chaffing… So I took a bold move and removed the t-shirt while I ran. Low and behold I didn’t really need it. 5 months and 57 pounds later and my arms don’t produce the same kind of chafe anymore. With that said, this all is only possible because I run in the privacy of my own home and it doesn’t really matter what my fat looks like as it bounces around while I run. Honestly I expected to hate the site of it more, but with proper fitting clothes it wasn’t so bad actually. Small victories.

I watched the new Biggest Loser and took control of my life with a 9 mile run. Not my best ever but completely acceptable. Dinner was more awesome choices. I had chicken breast and avocado. One of my favorite combinations. Completely healthy and delicious. I seriously feel like I am feeding my body with things it wants when I eat like I did yesterday. Control what you can control.

Today is the last day of my weigh-in week for me… I am excited to get on the scale tomorrow because I have had such a great week of eating and exercise. Of course, that doesn’t really mean I am going to have a great number necessarily but I am just proud of the week I’ve had and that means a lot more to me. Sure I’d love for the scale to be kind but it doesn’t really matter in the end. My bigger goal is to get thru today cleanly so that I can have one week where I know I did everything I could and lived a perfectly healthy lifestyle. Actually I have no worries about accomplishing this.

During the Biggest Loser last night I think it was Jeff was talking about losing weight and was saying something like the reality is you just have to want it more than you want the donut or the cookie or whatever it is you are craving. I don’t remember exactly what he said but that was the sentiment. And he is right. I just want it more than I want anything which is probably how I can consistently pass up foods that once were common place to me. I want it more than I want anything else really and of course the vain part of me loves seeing the girl in the mirror again that I am happy with the bigger picture, the thing I want more than anything is the happiness I feel from loving myself. It’s so easy to forget what it feels like to love yourself. It is so easy to get caught up in that perpetual game of eat like shit, feel like shit, feel guilty, have a bad day because you are hard on yourself, eat like shit to comfort yourself, feel like shit, feel guilty… you get the idea. The cycle is so hard to break and honestly when you are living it you don’t realize the psychological toll it is taking on you.

I guess it’s much easier to recuperate from life’s yuck when we are generally happy and love yourself. That is the bottom line. You really do have to fix this problem from the inside out. I loved my new necklace so much yesterday that I went to amazon and bought another one in orange… They are cheap I am sure, but I don’t spend tons of money on costume jewelry as it is just that, costume… so who cares if it’s only $10.99… anyhow, here is the link to it…

http://www.amazon.com/Necklace-December-SALE-High-Engagement-Bridesmaid/dp/B00AM7TEBW/ref=pd_sbs_jw_2

I pretty much love this necklace and am excited to have it another color.

This is my plan for the day…

Tropical Greek Yogurt
Banana
Apple
Lean Cuisine French bread pizza for lunch
Apple
Banana
Smoothie after my workout
Dinner??? (Not sure what exactly because I am a fly by the seat of my pants kind of girl, but most likely it will involve chicken as we have left overs in the fridge)

Chris works the late shift tonight so its jut me and the treadmill, of course I am going on day 5 in a row of exercise so I don’t predict a long one. It will most likely be a nice 8 mile run and I will call it good. Drink my smoothie, shower and then dinner of some sort.

Tomorrow morning will be weigh-in and then tomorrow is my day off from exercise. I mean 5 days in a row is enough for this girl :) I am thinking I might treat myself with a stop at Ulta after work tomorrow they have lots of free gifts when you buy different brands going on right now. Not that I need to treat myself or anything but I might just do that. We will see.

That’s about all I got for the day.