Late Night Horror

Last night was pretty awful, not food, exercise or generally anything before 11 PM. Basically I went to bed just fine, knowing I had a nasty cough but not realizing that I would be unable to fall asleep due to said cough. I had to cough every two minutes and then at about midnight I got a horrible coughing attack. I got out of bed and headed to the kitchen for water, Nyquil, chloroseptic and cough drops. None of it helped. I hacked it out for a good 5 minutes while Molly stared at me questioning why I was up. She’s too cute; she pretty much follows me around everywhere.

I attempted to go back to bed. I tossed and turned and coughed and coughed and coughed. At 1 AM I had another attack and once again got up to retreat to the other room to hack it out. When I thought I had it mildly under control I returned to bed. Around 1:15 Chris got up and used the bathroom and I just sat there coughing. He came back to bed and I continued my coughing fit. Chris feel back asleep and then at 1:40 I was jarred up in bed by an awful attack and I reached for the water somehow thinking this would be a good idea. I took a few drinks of water and just as quickly as I swallowed, with all the coughing I suddenly and without any proper warning, threw up into my hands. I have never had this happen before. I threw up my spaghetti dinner right into my hands. Obviously it was up and into the bathroom for me. So gross!!!

I mostly contained it all in my hands. I wiped off the bed and decided I could not do this to poor Chris and retreated to the living room about 2 AM. I lied down and must have eventually drifted off into sleep somewhere around 3 AM. I woke at 6 AM coughing some more but feeling a little better. I decided to go back to bed where I slept much longer than I should have, til about 8 AM before forcing myself to get up. I REALLY wanted to stay in that bed. Not shocking considering I got minimal sleep and the rest of the night was spent so awfully. I cried so many times, not on purpose, by sheer force of coughing so much my eyes starting watering. It was an ugly night. I guess lying down probably lets the mucus in my nose run into my throat which impedes the sleeping. I just pray to God tonight is more kind to me. I need sleep.

With all that said, I am pure exhausted today and yet tonight is supposed to be my Biggest Loser night. I am looking forward to the finale from last night. Biggest Loser already ruined the surprise for me by posting a picture of the winner on their facebook page for me to see. Oh well, I still want to watch the show. I am praying somehow I get a magical burst of energy today. I wish there was a magic drug to make my cough go away. It is better today than last night but I suspect it really is the whole lying down thing vs. just sitting at my desk. I keep finding myself wanting to close my eyes.

It really comes as no shock to me, considering my lack of feeling 100%, that I haven’t been feeling that good about myself as of late. You know those moments where you look in the mirror and hate what you see. Yeah, that’s been me the past couple days. I am certain it’s because I feel like shit, I feel bloated and generally am not having the same levels of energy to give me any sort of positive feelings about myself. I just feel complete lack of motivation to do anything. It’s been real bad lately. I have no motivation at work, at home, in my couponing. I have zero motivation to do anything but sit there and stare blankly, mindlessly into the abyss. I guess that is probably what happens when you are sick. It is my body’s way of trying to recuperate.

Overall today has just been a struggle so far and I am not predicting great things later. Lack of sleep plus nasty cough just leaves me run down and sluggish. One day at a time.