Health Issues

Friday is here. And I am more than happy that it is finally upon us. Like seriously I am excited that it’s Friday despite having no real plans for the entire weekend. Actually that is slightly a lie. I have plans and they consist of something that makes me VERY happy. Wait for it, bet you guessed it, yes, I plan on spending a few hours both Saturday and Sunday at my beloved gym. It is sickening how exciting that is to me. I can’t tell you honestly how thrilled and at peace I am and ready for a few days of no plans other than heading to the gym and doing what I want.

Here is the deal; I have exercised for the last 6 days in a row. Yup. So I must force myself to take a break tonight. I’d like to exercise but I do believe our bodies deserve one rest day but mainly because I do entirely plan on spending stupid amounts of time at the gym on Saturday and Sunday I feel like it’s probably best to actually give my body the rest today as well. To gear it up for a great workout tomorrow etc. That means tonight will be difficult mentally because I won’t have my high of the gym to push me thru. I am strongly considering going to Red Lobster. They have the unlimited shrimp feast right now and they have garlic grilled shrimp which is so ridiculously healthy that it’s not funny. And it’s unlimited :) So you know; I might just have to eat like 10 skewers of it or something like that. It’s a possibility; that’s all I’m saying. Nothing concrete or definite at this moment, just something I’m kicking around in my head.

Of course tomorrow morning before 9 AM turbo kick I am meeting with my trainer at the gym to do my measurements to submit for my member of the month profile. I’m a little nervous because I honestly don’t feel like I am worthy. I guess that’s what it is. I feel like it’s only been 3 months so while my results are amazing and great they are not as great as I know it’s going to be in 6 months’ time, etc. Oh well, I should just shut up and accept the honor as it is. I wrote out my “story” already and gave it to her. She told me it made her cry. I guess that is a good thing. It’s not that particularly tear-inducing but I guess when you are the trainer and one of your clients has made such good progress and then throws in a little sap on top of it, it might bring on tears…. Of course when it gets published next month you all will see it. Hell, I’ll post a big old version of it right here on this page of course and it will be on my Facebook page as well. I am friends with a lot of you guys on Facebook already so you will see it. If I’m not friends with you on Facebook or twitter please feel free to add me at any point because I love actually connecting with all of you guys. It is so awesome to actually see my online friends and be part of their lives as well; as much as possible via Facebook and twitter that is.

Actually, if I’m being honest, I feel so much closer to so many of my online friends than I do people in my real life. Maybe that’s because I don’t have real friends. Hum… that might be it. But I’m constantly blown away by the level of my feelings for some of these strangers who mean the world to me. I would jump on a plane and do anything I could for some of them and this is without ever having met them in person because I adore them that much. Maybe I’m one of those horrible catfish stories where I put all this belief and faith into another person but with some people I just know the connection is real and I know they are telling the truth about themselves because honestly who is going to lie about struggling with their weight and all this bullshit we deal with? Can you tell I love Catfish the TV show. Amazing. But crazy because who does that? Who actually still lies about their identity on the internet these days? Apparently a ton of people actually. Who knew? I kind of shake my head because I would be the easiest person in the world to confirm the identity of, which is also why I would never be a catfish on their side because I wouldn’t ever talk to someone who wasn’t as easily identifiable and if they didn’t want to meet me I’d be like done, over. Of course I’m also not looking for love via Facebook etc. I am referring to friendships with real women who have no reason to lie about themselves to being with.

Obviously I have no criteria at all for the people I talk to online. You can be anything you are and I’m cool with that as long as you are who you say you are I guess. I don’t lie about myself so I would expect the same in return. Not that I think anyone is lying. Geesh. What you see here is pretty much what you get with me. Insecurities and all. This is pretty much the realest version of me in existence which is probably why I feel like these relationships with the online world are so important because these are the people who know the real me.

If you check out my Facebook page it’s not as if there is tons of mention of my health and fitness life. Slowly but surely these days its creped a little more in but it’s not as if people would know I’m a health nut or spend my days at the gym or dream about being at the gym. There is clearly no mention of this blog because I don’t want my “real” acquaintances to find this blog. That’s just too damned weird. Now Twitter is another story, move over batman, I am the queen of the selfie photo and it’s my place to express my neurotic obsession with health and fitness and food and my Victoria Secret workout wardrobe. I don’t care one bit that its dominated by my true personality, because there is no one but my 1 sister I guess who is actually my friend on twitter that I know in real life. I don’t mind my immediate family reading this crap, in fact they all know about this blog but I am certain do not read it because they could care less about my mindless dribble. They get enough of it in real life. Maybe my sisters read it from time to time, but I highly doubt it. They have all their own shit to worry about and are not that into my narcissistic hobby.

My family is pretty supportive. We have our bouts of not understanding or thinking I’m too obsessive but that hasn’t happened this time around because of the amazing differences of this time around. Two of my sisters have actually taken the plunge and have been doing metafast for a couple months. It is hella expensive actually. And you have to eat really crappy food but it’s a jump start for people who need to lose a lot of weight I guess. I love them to death so will support anything that they want to do that is focused on being healthier. Long term we all know it’s not sustainable but they just want to get a jump on the weight loss to keep them motivated. Anything is better than nothing.

My grandma has been in the hospital for a week with a bunch of breathing problems. Yes, she’s old. Yes she has a couple infections, etc. But honestly I personally think that her weight has got to be a huge factor as well. If she didn’t weigh like 450 pounds she probably could breathe better all on her own and it would make the infections easier to fight off. Basically it’s just sad because there is no way our health doesn’t play a major role in the aging process. It is scary and I keep looking at my mom when she talks about her mom and I’m like, see this is why what you are doing is so important. You need to be healthy. Of course mom is working on it so I can say that to her. But it scares me. I don’t want my mom, whom I adore, to end up with complications because of her health. Getting older already poses enough challenges without adding in poor health to the mix. For that matter I don’t want any of my sisters to be in the same boat eventually either. This is why it is so important that we all get a handle on this now while we still can.

I am very proud of my mom. She decided a year ago to change and she is a different person today than she was back then as well. She is much healthier. I just hope my sisters can find that same desire as well. I actually told mom the other day that this time I am sticking to this for the rest of my life, that this is it for me. I’ve figured it out, you know all the things I’ve said on here and with that means that I am probably going to never give up trying to get my sisters to be healthier. I don’t push them or bagger them but I try to encourage them whenever possible. I love them all so much and simply want them to be healthy. I don’t care if they are skinny or thin or anything like that. I just want them to be healthy. I want them to not have medical problems related to their weight. I don’t think that is asking too much. As I explore a life of fitness and health it would be impossible for me to not try and pass on some of my knowledge to them. It’s such a slippery slope because unless you want to hear the information you will just feel pressured. I try and not pressure.

Anyway, I think that’s about it for me for the day. I have to go out and run some work errands now. Got to pick up a bunch of stuff and run it up to Hillsboro to a jobsite. It’s basically an hour drive or so. Good times. Have a great weekend!