A long run & some fashion

I am nothing if not a determined driven woman.  When I decide I am going to do something I inevitably always follow thru.  I don’t know what it is about my brain that really just gloms onto an idea and goes for it.  I was stressing yesterday about getting in a long run and not being able to this weekend and running today vs last night.  I had intended to run 4.5 miles last night and then was going to try and run 4.5 miles today to make up for the 8.5 miler I was supposed to do on Sunday.  But I wasn’t sure how I was fitting it in today.  Etc., etc.

Last night I got to the gym and I was like fuck it, let’s just do my long run. Why so stressed, let’s just put in the long run right now, on the treadmill. I really didn’t have anything else planned anyway. So I told myself that I was in fact going to run 8.5 miles last night.  I got on the treadmill and felt great honestly.  I felt really good. So I was sure that 8.5 miles was going to be possible.  But it is the treadmill and it a boring tedious machine.  But I made up my mind and this was suddenly the answer to all of my running problems so I just kept going.  The machine only goes for 60 minutes before shutting off. That is it’s limit.  So I ran at a 6.0 pace for 60 minutes and completed 6 miles before it shut off. I got off for a couple seconds to get a sweat rag and wipe myself down and drink some water before starting it up again.   I am not going to lie after 6 miles I was tired.  I decided to just allow myself to run at a 5.8 pace for the last 2.5 miles.

Then sometime happened in my brain as I cleared the half a mile mark. I decided why am I just trying to do 8.5, let’s just do the 9 miles.  I wanted to run 4.5 today and 4.5 tomorrow for a total of 9 miles so I am not sure where the 8.5 came from.  And just like that in the spur of the moment I decided 9 miles was the goal.  So I kept running. Probably much to the dismay of the body builders around me who consider my brand of stated steady cardio a complete waste. But I didn’t care.  It was actually way too hot to run outside and I knew there was no way a really long run was going to be possible outside so on the treadmill it was.

I was tired by the time I neared the additional 3 mile mark.  Really tired, but I pushed on and eventually my mileage hit the magical 3 for a total of 9 miles and all told it was 91 minutes 45 seconds.  But more importantly I had just met my goal. I not only did a long run for the week but I knocked off 9 miles and now I have ran 97 miles total for the month of May.  Leaving me with a measly little 3 miles to hit my 100 mile mark goal for the month.  Tomorrow I am doing a 5k with my niece so there you have it.  It will not be a fast run but the miles still count. 

So with all of that said, I am not running today. I am taking today off since I mean I did run 9 miles last night.  I will do my 5k with my niece on Saturday which will put me at the 100 mile mark for the month but then I do feel like I need to do some sort of actual run on Sunday.  I don’t have to do a long run. Got that done.  But I feel like I need to probably do at least a 3 mile run just to keep my feet moving and all.  So that is tentatively my plan at this point.  But everything is open to change honestly.  Which is why I really wanted to get my mileage in yesterday so that I don’t have pressure just in case things don’t go as planned. 

After work today I have to go home and finish packing up to go camping tonight.  I guess I will survive even if it’s not entirely my first choice. Hard beds and sleeping bags and small spaces with doggies. But  I am leaving tomorrow morning so that is good. I mean I have to go do the 5k. It will be good. It makes my husband happy and that is really why I’m doing it.  

Mostly it’s just noon and I’m ready to be done with the day already.  Ready to get the weekend started.  More of a relaxing weekend before I embark on the next 3 weekends of running crazy.  This is the calm before the storm. Next weekend I have a 5k and then a half.  Then the following weekend is Seattle Rock N Roll and then the 3^rd weekend is a Rugged Maniac and then a half marathon.  3 weekends/3 half’s and some other events thrown in.  Geesh.  Crazy woman.

Anyway, I might be back later today. I might not.  Who really knows. Regardless, here is my Fashion Friday with this week’s adorable outfits. 

Make it work

Busy day at work today thus the late and short update.  Ever so occasionally it happens.  I’m trying to fit in everything and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.  Last night as I fully expected I got to Amanda’s gym and then spent about an hour just talking to her catching up.  That’s how it goes sometimes.  And then I quickly sprinted out 1 mile just to warm up my body before class. I definitely more effectively burn during lifting when I have at least got my heart rate up a little bit.  And then we did a 45 minute all over workout.  Nice workout.  When all was said and done I burned another 300 calories for the day.  Nothing too major, nothing too stressful, just good enough.

I’m trying to get everything in order as things seem to have all of a sudden crept up on me.  Today is Thursday and tonight I go to the gym and intend to do a 4.5 mile run.  I honestly have no idea if I will lift afterwards or not.  We will see.  I have nothing officially planned out. Just going to go with the flow.  But I’m trying to figure out how to squeeze in a run tomorrow and it’s looking complicated.  I suppose I could wake up and run early as that might be my best chance at it but that doesn’t actually sound like major fun. I don’t know.  It’s pretty hot here by the afternoon so while in theory a lunchtime run could be possible it’s also not entirely probable.  Tomorrow I have to do payroll which is always a bit of a stressor and takes a while so that is my first thought for the morning.  We will see. I will get it all planned out one way or another. 

Chris does in fact want to go camping tomorrow as soon as he gets home from work at like 6:30 he wants to leave.  This means I realistically can’t run after work. Ugh.  Things do get complicated on occasion.  Saturday morning I will wake up from the campsite and drive to Oregon State University where I am doing the Girls on the Run 5k with my niece.  She’s been doing the training program at her school for the past couple months and this is the culmination of the program ending in a 5k race.  They have to have running buddies and of course I am hers.  So I will leave from the campsite and be gone for the morning doing that.  Sunday my plan has me running 8.5 miles but honestly I don’t think I am going to do it.  I will be camping and lazy and realistically I know it’s not likely.  I need to do 12 more miles between tonight and Sunday.  I will do 3 on Saturday so that leaves me 9 miles.  If I run 4.5 miles tonight that means I just have to do a 4.5 mile run either tomorrow or Sunday.  I suppose I could make one of these happen.  Wait, I WILL make one of these happen.  And it will be okay. If I don’t technically get in a long run this weekend I will still be fine.  I always run way more than I’m supposed to anyway.  And honestly next weekend calls for a 4.5 mile run only on the weekend and instead I’m running a half, so 13.1. I think if I only get in a 4.5 miler this weekend that shall be fine.

I know, I am splitting hairs when you are talking about running so much anyway.  One day at a time.  Focus on going to the gym tonight and running 4.5 miles. That is the first battle.  Then I should probably go home and think about packing so that I am ready to leave at 6:30 tomorrow immediately when Chris gets home.  That would be smart of me.

So as I’ve been thinking about it I’ve developed a new plan of action.  I think I can sneak out of work tomorrow early seeing as its Friday and that is typically a possibility always.  So if I left at 4:30 and went immediately to the gym say be there at 4:45 would be the plan (I’d run outside but I think it might be too hot).  I could run 4.5 miles say from 4:45-5:30, be home before 6. As long as I was home at 6, I could hop in the shower and be ready to go by 6:30.  I think that would actually work.  Possibilities.

I am learning that with a training plan you have to be flexible honestly.  I ultimately don’t want to burn myself out too much.  But of course I tend to, as I always just go and go.  Crazy full speed ahead is pretty much the only way I know how to really function.   All of this means that I need to pack up some crap tonight.  Get my outfit together for Saturday morning for my run, pack camping clothes, etc.

I should point out that I actually don’t like camping.  I love being outside and outdoors and will hang out all day every day hiking, walking, just enjoying nature’s beauty. But at the end of the day, at night I just want to go home to my clean bed, clean myself off and get a good night’s sleep in a nice temperature controlled environment and wake up fresh.  Camping is not really my favorite thing at all.  The whole overnight process of it.  But Chris really loves it so I’m trying to do this for him.  He’s looking forward to it and these are things we have to do, the give and take of a relationship.  Honestly I probably take more than I give so I suppose this is my turn to give a little.

Anyhow, I need to get back to work.  I will figure it all out somehow.

Pride & Annonimity

Today I am 36 years old.  As I stated yesterday Birthdays feel very silly to me as I advance in age. I tend to be one of those people who kind of just ignores it.  I think it has to do with attention.  Despite what some of my social media accounts may portray I really am a humble person who likes to remain in the shadows. Almost anonymous.  This is why my Facebook is not entirely polluted with selfie photos. I don’t want my real life people to see that side of me.  Twitter on the other hand is mostly made up of people I don’t really know so it is my land to indulge in my self-obsessed side.  I promise you that my humble non attention seeking side ALWAYS wins out in a battle. At the end of the day I don’t like that much attention on me.   I think it’s because I fear that if people pay attention to me, or look at me, then it’s more opportunity for them to judge me and focus on my flaws. Yup, that insecure underneath it all.

Anyhow, the fact of the matter is, it is still my Birthday. Which means the 35^th year of my life is gone.  But honestly, year 35 was pretty freaking amazing! I can say with 100% honesty that year 35 was overall the best year of my life.  Parts of 34 thru 35 as a whole.  But come on, I have done some pretty awesome fun incredible stuff in year 35 and despite perhaps being in the middle of a little trivial tiff with my husband, year 35 has been the best year for us. The most connected and happiest.  I cannot complain.  Which obviously leads me to year 36, which starts day 1 today.

How can I not be optimistic about year 36? This is the year I get to go to Maui and run a marathon.  For this single fact alone year 36 will always go down in the memory books despite anything else that may occur in the next 365 days.   I am still honestly struggling a little mentally lately.  With the gym and health and stuff. I have yet to figure out the real problem but I have to say as long as I am still working my marathon training plan I think it’s good enough.  I may not possess all the drive and passion for the gym that I once had and will undoubtedly have again at some point, but I’m not giving up or really falling apart.  So long as I am on point with my training plan I can’t complain.

Last night I went to the gym and did my scheduled 3 mile run.  I started slow and then realized I could be running faster, so I did. It actually felt pretty good. My mom was coming with me so I wrote out a plan and then for the hell of it I texted my cousin to see if she wanted to join us and she did.  So cool, mini group session going on.  This is what I planned out.

We did this but then I also modified and added a couple more exercises to each group, seeing as there were 3 of us, I opted to have each set of exercises contain 4 different items instead of 3.  It works.  And honestly it was the first time in a while where I felt happy in the gym and at ease.  Like having this solid plan and doing this group work was exactly what I needed. So that was a good start for me.  I think by the time I left the gym I had burned 525 calories, which I will take. More importantly I managed to do 45 minutes of lifting and felt happy and good with it.  My upper body is generally a little tight today in places so that feels nice. Nothing glaringly sore but I can tell I used my muscles and that is happiness.

So I had a dilemma about today. My training plan called for a 4.5 mile run today.  I promised Amanda I would go to her strength class tonight at 6:15. I will not get to the gym until 5:30 and then I know I will talk to her, etc., and there simply would not be enough time to run 4.5 miles before class. So my second thought was to run at lunchtime in the park as I have done before. I thought this would be a great idea but then last night as I was leaving work one of my bosses told me that there was a possibility I would have to run some work errands, i.e., drive an hour and 15 minutes each way to pick up some materials.  This totally puts a damper on my plans or the ability to do a lunchtime run. Great.  So what is the only other option that I have?

This is where you determine how serious you are about things in life, or how badly you want something. This is where champions are made. This is where character is built and determination shows itself.  I purposely went to bed pretty early last night so that I could wake up at 6:30 AM this morning and immediately change into the workout outfit I set out last night and force myself out the door to run. On a random Wednesday morning before work? This is unheard of for me.  I am not a morning person.  I run my organized races on the weekends in the morning this is true but I have event excitement and other racers to keep me motivated and going.  And plus I wake up, and get dressed and then typically have to drive places and get to eat and drink some water and slowly wake up. 

I literally  rolled out of bed, put my clothes on (no makeup) and went out the door within 15 minutes. Might have been a bad idea.  I got up, despite not wanting to.  And I got dressed and I still doubted that I really wanted to do it. I tried to talk myself out of it.  I tried to reason with myself that I could do it later at lunchtime. I could make that happen. Then I remembered it was supposed to be pretty hot today so maybe I didn’t want to do that. But I tried to convince myself it would be okay if I went back to bed.  But then I stopped and said, no, you are already awake and dressed and this is what you wanted so just go and do the damned thing.

I did.  It wasn’t easy or fun.  I instantly knew I wasn’t awake at all. I instantly knew my body was functioning on nothing.  Like no food or water.  Thus I was slow. Slower than I would have liked but I certainly forgave myself.  And I just ran.  It wasn’t an easy breathless exciting run. It was a look at my watch every couple seconds and hang on for dear life kind of run.  But I was doing it.  And I did think a little about the reality of waking up and running on my birthday. That ultimately this is the best gift I could give myself. This lovely gift of health and running.  And marathon training. And it isn’t always going to be easy, but it will always be worth it.  That these are the moments that define me. These are the moments that prove I will succeed at whatever I decide to do because I am willing to make the sacrifices others won’t.  That while I am out here running others sleep or couldn’t even imagine the possibility of waking up to run.  And thus I forgave myself for my slower than normal pace.  Because I was doing it.

Even while running I tried to convince myself that a 3 mile run would be fine and I could pick up the other 1.5 miles on the treadmill before class tonight. That this would work. This would be acceptable.  These are tricks I have to tell my mind to keep me going.  At mile 1.5 I told myself as long as I got to 3 miles it would be okay.  And then at some point, eventually I got to 3 miles and then I was like, oh come on, you only have 1.5 more miles to go, you CAN do this.  And so I did.  I am proud to say I ran 4.5 miles.  Nothing fancy. Nothing fast. Nothing memorable. But I did it.  Before work.  I burned 478 calories before I was in the office.  And it is a good feeling.

So now I’m going to tell you a secret.  The weather was perfect for running in the morning, with a nice breeze that kept me cool and dry and therefore I decided to just wear my workout clothes to work.  They are a nice neutral navy and it’s my birthday and I want to wear yoga pants and I don’t care. So I did put a shirt on over my workout clothes and put on TOMS shoes instead of running shoes to make it a little more acceptable.  But yes, I am still in workout clothes.  Don’t care. I am going to work out more today and I don’t apologize for my clothes. I look fine.

So there you have it.  I’m in my office in my comfy workout clothes. I did put makeup on and do my hair and I am perfectly acceptable.  This is one of the perks of construction office work.  No one cares.  I don’t have to dress up.  I mean I could if I wanted but honestly I get more crap when I’m dressed up than when I am in yoga pants. Go figure.

Mostly I am proud of myself for waking up and running. This is incredibly out of the norm for me.  I will most likely forgo exercise for sleep ALL the time.  But I am really trying hard to stick to my training plan. Basically in the month of May, well since May 6 really I have done 18 runs for a total of 87 miles. So yes, in the last 21 days I have run 87 miles.  I have a goal of running 100 miles in May. That means in the next 4 days I have to get in 13 miles.  I think I can do this.  No, I WILL do this.  It’s just my own personal goal to run 100 miles this month. 

Things for the weekend are still up in the air. Part of that has to do with my husband.  He wants to go camping.  I am not sure the logistics of things and stuff is yet to be determined. Oh and also we aren’t talking so nice right now so I’m unclear about some of that.  We will see I guess.  Tonight I am taking Amanda’s strength class at her gym, so that will be good to see my friend.  In all of this feeling lost about the gym, etc., I haven’t spent much time with Amanda and I do miss her.  But I also think she is part of my problem as well if that makes any sense. I feel guilty when I see her and am not giving my 100% to the gym.  So I tend to avoid it rather than deal.  I mean clearly my own statistics indicate that I haven’t exactly been slacking overall this month. I have ran 18 out of the last 21 days.  That’s actually pretty intense so honestly I need to deal a little better.

Well my tummy is literally growling at me which doesn’t shock me because anytime I have ever ran in the morning I ended up being super extra hungry all day so we will see how this goes.  I had oatmeal this morning after my run but apparently it’s not doing the job quite enough for the extra energy I’ve already expended. 

It’s all good though.  I can tell I’m probably happier than I would otherwise have been this morning all things considered simply because I made myself do a run.  And that is the point of it all anyway.  Quality of life, feeling happy and good.  Enjoying the moments.  Living for the moments that make you feel whole and complete.  That’s why I do any of this anyway. To be happy and healthy and get to the moments that make my life worth living.

A long and mixed bag kind of weekend

Well my weekend was extra-long and in being so was kind of all over the place.  I guess that is what happens over a period of 4 entire days.  Some good, some bad, and some eh.  Thursday night after work I ran 6 miles and I felt great. Friday was my grandpa’s funeral.  The funeral itself was exactly what you’d expect from a catholic ceremony.  It’s funny because I grew up going to a private catholic grade school where we went to church every single week but for the life of me, now all these years later, I truly don’t understand all the hoopla and tedium of a service.  It’s pretty terrible really. Sorry if that offends anyone but it’s not engaging in the least.  I am certain many other religions do a better job of this than the Catholics. 

Anyhow, after it was finally over we gathered in the Church hall and all the patrons did a nice little pot luck celebration of life I guess.  I mostly kept to my cousins and it was fine.  After the after party we went to my aunt and uncles house.  This was much more of a traditional gathering for our family.  Alcohol, games, good times.  It was nice.  I did not drink because ultimately wine just gives me a terrible headache so why would I do that to myself? And I don’t really like beer.  I will drink a delicious mixed drink if ever given the option but other than that it’s not really my thing. But everyone else drank and that’s kind of fun to watch.

By the time the evening was over I was exhausted.  We got home like 8 I think and then we pretty much went to bed. Saturday morning we woke up and drove to an event.  This was an event we signed up for like on Wednesday, spur of the moment last minute decision thing.  It was a small local race and I thought it wouldn’t be that well-organized of an event but it turned out it was pretty decent.  It felt like a real event at least.  T-shirt, medal and goody bag.  We did the 8k, which is supposed to be just a few steps shy of a 5 mile run.  But the course was short and ultimately I only registered 4.5 miles.  It was fine. Either way didn’t bother me.  Actually it was probably good because I made a cardinal error on Saturday.  I forgot my headphones and phone belt. Therefore I was running music-less.

It has been a long time since I ran without music and as I could have predicted it SUCKED.  Turns out music is an interracial part of my running happiness. Without it I can’t zone out, I can’t be taken away to another land and therefore I’m forced to live in the exact moment and each grueling step.  It is misery.  I was glad the course was only 4.5 miles and thankful to cross the finish line. It was the event’s fault, it was entirely my own doing.

After the run Chris & I went to his fishing spot and he fished for like an hour or so and I was cool, I just sat there and watched and it was totally fine.  We then decided to head home to take the doggies for a walk.  We ended up probably doing too much.  I turned on my Garmin to let it track the mileage out of curiosity and we ended up walking 5 miles.  This is fine for Chris and I and even our puppy Bella but we forget that Molly is now 8 years old and its hard on her joints.  She loves it and will keep going and going but ultimately pay the price later.

She was one tired little girl and her leg hurt and she kept lifting it up and just walking on 3 legs. I felt bad.  No more long walks for my old girl.  Saturday night was all fine and dandy and then we woke up Sunday morning to go to the Rum Run 10k.  For whatever reason I think I woke up kind of in a bad mood.   Every little thing was nagging at me and I probably wasn’t the nicest girl in the world but that happens.  And of course I didn’t feel like running because some mornings are just like that. And it was a 10k, so 6.2 miles and I was like ehh. And as I recalled the course was quite hilly. We did this same run last year and I remember long stretches of gradual uphill.  Nothing major but enough that you constantly feel like you are running uphill.

We all lined up for the event. We were split into 3 waves. Obviously fast people wave 1, wave 2 was the rest of the runners and wave 3 was slow and walkers.  Both Chris & I positioned ourselves in wave 2.  Him in the front, me towards the back. That’s just how I roll.  We started (and I did of course remember to bring my music because God knows I wasn’t running a full 10k without it!) So we all started running in a typical race pact out on the course.  And we are running, running.  And at some point I think hmm. I don’t really remember this on the course, or rather that I thought we turned into a park pretty early on in the race but we hadn’t yet.  I did remember thinking it was slightly suspicious but then I was like, whatever, just following the entire pact of runners.  Up this hill we ran. 

At some point I see a police car driving along the side of the runners, and I feel that a commotion is going on and I yank out my headphones to hear a police officer with his head out the window and a megaphone to his mouth say, “Turn Around. You are all going the wrong way. Turn around.”  And then the reality of the situation hit us all.  We were in fact supposed to turn into the park a long ways back.  So around I turned.  I was mad. I was upset. I was baffled as to how this happens. I mean, I have run a ton of events and nothing like this has ever occurred. I guess it’s always a possibility but not quite like this. The entire hoard of people going in the wrong direction. Where was the person on the road supposedly directing people? Where was the lead bicyclist directing the path.  Clearly there was a failure or breakdown in the system.

At that exact moment it was hard to know exactly how much we had gone of course.  And I knew in that moment it was going to be a terrible shit storm of different finishing times and distances for people and based on the chatter I heard around me a lot of people were upset.  Especially when I finally made my way back to the original course and into the park and I was weaving in and out of what was clearly wave 3 walkers.  And then in a while you started seeing the real runners come zooming by in all of their lean runner fast pace stances.  I am sure they were beyond upset. They ran a longer distance than even I and now were weaving in and out of everyone who was slower than them.  Frustrating.

The reality of how far off I had gotten hit me when I finally saw the course marked 1 mile marker and I glanced down at my own Garmin and it registered 3.2 miles.  I was like son of a bitch.  The extra out and back that we did was 2.2 miles give or take. For me anyway.  For others it would be something different. It’s slightly disheartening to see a mile 1 when you have already run 3.2 miles. 

It is in moments like this when you have to stop and evaluate why you are doing what you are doing.  Why are you running?  I quickly calculated in my head that this meant I would be running around 8.5 miles today for this particular 10k. Yes, I was frustrated at first, but ultimately I run for the run. For the experience for the pleasure in accomplishment. At around 4 mile something on my own Garmin I came across a fork in the course that said 10k this way and 5k this way.  I had a moment where I could have just gone the 5k route and ultimately it would have put me close to a 10k course.  But in that moment I decided I’d rather get in the long run.  I am training for a marathon after all so is an extra 2.25 miles going to kill me?  No.  now I understand for some it might actually be a really big deal. Maybe they were training for this 10k. Maybe 6.2 was there stretch in distance.  I could see how this would be upsetting.  If this happened on a half course and I had to run 15 or 16 miles (and I wasn’t training for a full) I would be upset.  This would be really frustrating.  But for me on this particular day, I was more than able to run 8.5 miles so it didn’t matter that much.

I heard people bitch post run about not having the gear or food and water for that distance of a run.  Or people who weren’t pacing themselves for such a distance, blah, blah, blah.  I just go and run and if the 10k was actually 8.5 miles, oh well. I’m glad I am capable of running 8.5 miles.  And I did it.  Yes, my time is way off, but everyone’s time was way off.  I finished at like 86 minutes.  Pretty much on par for an 8.5 mile run for me.  A crappy time for a 6.2 mile run as the official books will reflect.  But I know what happened. I know I ran 8.5 miles.

It’s really all about perception and intention and it kind of boils down to what kind of personality you have.  I think this was incredibly indicative of who you are or your style in life.  I’m not an over reactive person generally speaking. I roll with the punches and can adapt.  Chris on the other hand had a meltdown. He got to the top of the hill where they made him turn around and he was pissed.  He was so mad he turned around and went back to the starting/finishing gate and essentially quit. He ran around 3.5 miles total, an out and back, didn’t actually cross the finish line and took a medal and processed to be pissed off about the event.  It didn’t occur to him to actually run the distance. Whereas my mind frame to run what I intended to do.  This goes back to mental toughness.  We’ve both long said that I am far more mentally tough than he is and this is the perfect example of that.  I really truly am more mentally strong.  I don’t quit or give up when obstacles are put in my way.  I just had to readjust my thinking mid race.  And I was extra glad this was not the day I forgot my headphones.  Or else I might have quit early!

Post run I did get a lovely mai-tai and some Hawaiian food.  I had a good post race event.  My niece and nephew came up and ran the kids race. We all hung out and it was lovely.  Chris drank way too much, got too many free beverages and then things started to go down-hill.  I don’t like to talk about personal issues but let’s just say I drove home but then crap happened and things happened and it turned into a REALLY shitty afternoon which followed thru to yesterday. Things were said and done that were not nice and all because of alcohol.  Another reason that I am actually not a big fan.  Some people just cannot handle alcohol at all.   I had 1 drink and it was good but I didn’t feel the need to drink anymore. 

Yesterday I did absolutely nothing. Zip. Zilch. Zero.  I literally laid on the couch most of the day with my doggies and watched TV.  I thought about exercising and then decided nope, don’t want to. I ran 4.5 miles on Saturday and 8.5 miles on Sunday and I think that was okay. That was enough.

I need to do some more strength training.  I really do.  I don’t really know what my problem is lately but everything else just seems like more fun or rather exercising mostly seems like a chore to me.  I think that might have something to do with other factors or other things going on in my life.  I don’t entirely have a solid weekly plan worked out just yet but I will get there.  I am already thrown off because it feels like Monday but it is actually Tuesday. I guess that’s a good thing because it means a short week. I don’t know. Tonight I have to run 3 miles and then I am going to do strength training at the gym.  Upper body with mom. That is the plan.

Tomorrow I have to run 4.5 miles, still figuring it all out.  Tomorrow happens to be my 36^th Birthday as well which to be honest I really could care less about.  Birthdays ultimately are kind of just a pain in the ass to me. They don’t mean much.  But I guess we half to have one every year.  I don’t know. I feel stressed and busy and maybe tomorrow will be a better day. 

If I’m being completely honest I’m not over my fight with my husband.  We will be fine. It’s not life or death. It’s just the normal annoyances of life.  But it still makes you feel yucky in the in-between time. Like my world is out of balance because we are out of balance.  Isn’t it funny how much it can actually affect you? And it does. It really does.  Anyway.  I need to get back to work.  Busy day, being gone for an extended weekend.