A long and mixed bag kind of weekend

Well my weekend was extra-long and in being so was kind of all over the place.  I guess that is what happens over a period of 4 entire days.  Some good, some bad, and some eh.  Thursday night after work I ran 6 miles and I felt great. Friday was my grandpa’s funeral.  The funeral itself was exactly what you’d expect from a catholic ceremony.  It’s funny because I grew up going to a private catholic grade school where we went to church every single week but for the life of me, now all these years later, I truly don’t understand all the hoopla and tedium of a service.  It’s pretty terrible really. Sorry if that offends anyone but it’s not engaging in the least.  I am certain many other religions do a better job of this than the Catholics. 

Anyhow, after it was finally over we gathered in the Church hall and all the patrons did a nice little pot luck celebration of life I guess.  I mostly kept to my cousins and it was fine.  After the after party we went to my aunt and uncles house.  This was much more of a traditional gathering for our family.  Alcohol, games, good times.  It was nice.  I did not drink because ultimately wine just gives me a terrible headache so why would I do that to myself? And I don’t really like beer.  I will drink a delicious mixed drink if ever given the option but other than that it’s not really my thing. But everyone else drank and that’s kind of fun to watch.

By the time the evening was over I was exhausted.  We got home like 8 I think and then we pretty much went to bed. Saturday morning we woke up and drove to an event.  This was an event we signed up for like on Wednesday, spur of the moment last minute decision thing.  It was a small local race and I thought it wouldn’t be that well-organized of an event but it turned out it was pretty decent.  It felt like a real event at least.  T-shirt, medal and goody bag.  We did the 8k, which is supposed to be just a few steps shy of a 5 mile run.  But the course was short and ultimately I only registered 4.5 miles.  It was fine. Either way didn’t bother me.  Actually it was probably good because I made a cardinal error on Saturday.  I forgot my headphones and phone belt. Therefore I was running music-less.

It has been a long time since I ran without music and as I could have predicted it SUCKED.  Turns out music is an interracial part of my running happiness. Without it I can’t zone out, I can’t be taken away to another land and therefore I’m forced to live in the exact moment and each grueling step.  It is misery.  I was glad the course was only 4.5 miles and thankful to cross the finish line. It was the event’s fault, it was entirely my own doing.

After the run Chris & I went to his fishing spot and he fished for like an hour or so and I was cool, I just sat there and watched and it was totally fine.  We then decided to head home to take the doggies for a walk.  We ended up probably doing too much.  I turned on my Garmin to let it track the mileage out of curiosity and we ended up walking 5 miles.  This is fine for Chris and I and even our puppy Bella but we forget that Molly is now 8 years old and its hard on her joints.  She loves it and will keep going and going but ultimately pay the price later.

She was one tired little girl and her leg hurt and she kept lifting it up and just walking on 3 legs. I felt bad.  No more long walks for my old girl.  Saturday night was all fine and dandy and then we woke up Sunday morning to go to the Rum Run 10k.  For whatever reason I think I woke up kind of in a bad mood.   Every little thing was nagging at me and I probably wasn’t the nicest girl in the world but that happens.  And of course I didn’t feel like running because some mornings are just like that. And it was a 10k, so 6.2 miles and I was like ehh. And as I recalled the course was quite hilly. We did this same run last year and I remember long stretches of gradual uphill.  Nothing major but enough that you constantly feel like you are running uphill.

We all lined up for the event. We were split into 3 waves. Obviously fast people wave 1, wave 2 was the rest of the runners and wave 3 was slow and walkers.  Both Chris & I positioned ourselves in wave 2.  Him in the front, me towards the back. That’s just how I roll.  We started (and I did of course remember to bring my music because God knows I wasn’t running a full 10k without it!) So we all started running in a typical race pact out on the course.  And we are running, running.  And at some point I think hmm. I don’t really remember this on the course, or rather that I thought we turned into a park pretty early on in the race but we hadn’t yet.  I did remember thinking it was slightly suspicious but then I was like, whatever, just following the entire pact of runners.  Up this hill we ran. 

At some point I see a police car driving along the side of the runners, and I feel that a commotion is going on and I yank out my headphones to hear a police officer with his head out the window and a megaphone to his mouth say, “Turn Around. You are all going the wrong way. Turn around.”  And then the reality of the situation hit us all.  We were in fact supposed to turn into the park a long ways back.  So around I turned.  I was mad. I was upset. I was baffled as to how this happens. I mean, I have run a ton of events and nothing like this has ever occurred. I guess it’s always a possibility but not quite like this. The entire hoard of people going in the wrong direction. Where was the person on the road supposedly directing people? Where was the lead bicyclist directing the path.  Clearly there was a failure or breakdown in the system.

At that exact moment it was hard to know exactly how much we had gone of course.  And I knew in that moment it was going to be a terrible shit storm of different finishing times and distances for people and based on the chatter I heard around me a lot of people were upset.  Especially when I finally made my way back to the original course and into the park and I was weaving in and out of what was clearly wave 3 walkers.  And then in a while you started seeing the real runners come zooming by in all of their lean runner fast pace stances.  I am sure they were beyond upset. They ran a longer distance than even I and now were weaving in and out of everyone who was slower than them.  Frustrating.

The reality of how far off I had gotten hit me when I finally saw the course marked 1 mile marker and I glanced down at my own Garmin and it registered 3.2 miles.  I was like son of a bitch.  The extra out and back that we did was 2.2 miles give or take. For me anyway.  For others it would be something different. It’s slightly disheartening to see a mile 1 when you have already run 3.2 miles. 

It is in moments like this when you have to stop and evaluate why you are doing what you are doing.  Why are you running?  I quickly calculated in my head that this meant I would be running around 8.5 miles today for this particular 10k. Yes, I was frustrated at first, but ultimately I run for the run. For the experience for the pleasure in accomplishment. At around 4 mile something on my own Garmin I came across a fork in the course that said 10k this way and 5k this way.  I had a moment where I could have just gone the 5k route and ultimately it would have put me close to a 10k course.  But in that moment I decided I’d rather get in the long run.  I am training for a marathon after all so is an extra 2.25 miles going to kill me?  No.  now I understand for some it might actually be a really big deal. Maybe they were training for this 10k. Maybe 6.2 was there stretch in distance.  I could see how this would be upsetting.  If this happened on a half course and I had to run 15 or 16 miles (and I wasn’t training for a full) I would be upset.  This would be really frustrating.  But for me on this particular day, I was more than able to run 8.5 miles so it didn’t matter that much.

I heard people bitch post run about not having the gear or food and water for that distance of a run.  Or people who weren’t pacing themselves for such a distance, blah, blah, blah.  I just go and run and if the 10k was actually 8.5 miles, oh well. I’m glad I am capable of running 8.5 miles.  And I did it.  Yes, my time is way off, but everyone’s time was way off.  I finished at like 86 minutes.  Pretty much on par for an 8.5 mile run for me.  A crappy time for a 6.2 mile run as the official books will reflect.  But I know what happened. I know I ran 8.5 miles.

It’s really all about perception and intention and it kind of boils down to what kind of personality you have.  I think this was incredibly indicative of who you are or your style in life.  I’m not an over reactive person generally speaking. I roll with the punches and can adapt.  Chris on the other hand had a meltdown. He got to the top of the hill where they made him turn around and he was pissed.  He was so mad he turned around and went back to the starting/finishing gate and essentially quit. He ran around 3.5 miles total, an out and back, didn’t actually cross the finish line and took a medal and processed to be pissed off about the event.  It didn’t occur to him to actually run the distance. Whereas my mind frame to run what I intended to do.  This goes back to mental toughness.  We’ve both long said that I am far more mentally tough than he is and this is the perfect example of that.  I really truly am more mentally strong.  I don’t quit or give up when obstacles are put in my way.  I just had to readjust my thinking mid race.  And I was extra glad this was not the day I forgot my headphones.  Or else I might have quit early!

Post run I did get a lovely mai-tai and some Hawaiian food.  I had a good post race event.  My niece and nephew came up and ran the kids race. We all hung out and it was lovely.  Chris drank way too much, got too many free beverages and then things started to go down-hill.  I don’t like to talk about personal issues but let’s just say I drove home but then crap happened and things happened and it turned into a REALLY shitty afternoon which followed thru to yesterday. Things were said and done that were not nice and all because of alcohol.  Another reason that I am actually not a big fan.  Some people just cannot handle alcohol at all.   I had 1 drink and it was good but I didn’t feel the need to drink anymore. 

Yesterday I did absolutely nothing. Zip. Zilch. Zero.  I literally laid on the couch most of the day with my doggies and watched TV.  I thought about exercising and then decided nope, don’t want to. I ran 4.5 miles on Saturday and 8.5 miles on Sunday and I think that was okay. That was enough.

I need to do some more strength training.  I really do.  I don’t really know what my problem is lately but everything else just seems like more fun or rather exercising mostly seems like a chore to me.  I think that might have something to do with other factors or other things going on in my life.  I don’t entirely have a solid weekly plan worked out just yet but I will get there.  I am already thrown off because it feels like Monday but it is actually Tuesday. I guess that’s a good thing because it means a short week. I don’t know. Tonight I have to run 3 miles and then I am going to do strength training at the gym.  Upper body with mom. That is the plan.

Tomorrow I have to run 4.5 miles, still figuring it all out.  Tomorrow happens to be my 36^th Birthday as well which to be honest I really could care less about.  Birthdays ultimately are kind of just a pain in the ass to me. They don’t mean much.  But I guess we half to have one every year.  I don’t know. I feel stressed and busy and maybe tomorrow will be a better day. 

If I’m being completely honest I’m not over my fight with my husband.  We will be fine. It’s not life or death. It’s just the normal annoyances of life.  But it still makes you feel yucky in the in-between time. Like my world is out of balance because we are out of balance.  Isn’t it funny how much it can actually affect you? And it does. It really does.  Anyway.  I need to get back to work.  Busy day, being gone for an extended weekend.