Just okay

It is later than usual for me for an update. Partly because I don’t feel like I have a ton to say and partly because I had a busy morning at work.  We had an employment department audit which is always mentally nerve racking because someone comes in and goes over all your paperwork and financials (the business) and ultimately part of this is my responsibility.  We did pretty good and everything looked smooth according to the auditor so that was nice. But that did take up the majority of my morning. Glad that is *almost* done.  It’s a relief because I was slightly nervous about this audit for a little while.

Anyway, I’m feeling okay today. Just okay.  I’ve been better, I’ve been far worse. For some reason lately I just haven’t really been feeling the whole gym thing.  It’s weird I know. But I guess we all go in these cycles where you are majorly into something and then you aren’t.  It mostly just seems like a chore as of late and my heart hasn’t been all that into it.  I think there is clearly only so much that one single person can focus on.  I only have so many “eggs” to place in a basket and when you put so many into one thing there isn’t much left over for the other baskets. 

I’m back to putting lots of eggs in the running basket and this leaves very few for the weight lifting one.  This will come and go.  Once I get to my goal (Maui Marathon) then I am sure I will be ready once again to redistribute my eggs.  That sounds like some sort of breeding metaphor doesn’t it?  I am not talking about procreating. Ha Ha.  I still think ultimately I feel a little out of place at any particular gym.  I go in these stretches where I like a place and think I could get comfortable there and then I get thrown off.  And then I go to a different gym and try that out again.  I keep flip flopping and consequently am totally completely unsure of anything.  I guess it’s just never going to be what it was and I guess that is pretty much the story of life.  I shall eventually have to readjust things. I mean, this is a forever battle after all.

Basically it’s pretty clear to me that I am one of those people that will forever always have to have some goal to focus on or I flounder.  Without my marathon goal I am not entirely sure what I’d be doing right now.  This makes me wonder what my next personal challenge will be.  What I am going to set my sights on after this. I really don’t even know yet I guess one goal at a time.  Last year at this time I probably would have said you were crazy thinking I’d be going to Maui to run a full marathon. Wait, I actually still think I am crazy. 

For the record last night I ran 3 miles and then did a shoulder/bicep workout.  Finished the night at about 1 hour 15 minutes and 475 calories. So overall a good night. Not crazy but not bad either.  I literally had to force myself to do those exercises.  Sometimes it’s hard. Harder than it should be.  Tonight I am supposed to run 3 miles and then I was going to do some legs. Not crazy heavy legs because I really don’t actually have much desire to be unable to walk sufficiently for the next couple days. I am thinking high rep lower weight stuff.  I actually need to work up some sort of plan here soon.

Oh, and last night I just let go on the food and ate everything in sight so that’s great.  Nothing like multiple days of pigging out.  Geesh.  Whatever.  I was hungry. Crazy hungry.  Running so much really does make you famished. 

I’ve done pretty good today at keeping the eating under control thus far. But it’s not the days that I worry about the most.  It’s definitely the night time munchies that do me in.  But I am not going to complain today. I am simply not.  Today despite being just okay feeling, I am in fact happy to be in my skin and happy about what my body is capable of.  I am working on just being the best me there is and that is good enough.