This girl is on Fire!

I feel crazy happy giddy high today.  I have felt really pretty off all week post my 26.2 mile run on Saturday.  And by off I mean tired and hungry.  Sunday I just ate and ate and ate. Clearly my body needed the refueling.  I felt a little bad about the lack of control but not that bad because I was eating healthy things that my body probably needed.  But mostly I just felt off for the next couple days.  It was only yesterday that I actually started to feel good again.  It was all that sleep.  Yesterday I felt great.  And what resulted was FINALLY a great workout last night.  The kind of workout that I have been wanting to have all week.  The kind where I get on the treadmill and feel like running.  Feel like I’m flying. Where my legs are just moving and my breath feels good and everything aligns properly.  I just felt good. And that is sometimes the best thing in the world.  So I ran 2 miles before class, fast.  And my heart rate spiked and it felt amazing.

I then went to class and did the workout and just pushed and worked and it felt good. Post class I ran 2 more miles and between all of my efforts I burned 726 calories.  I knew my body was just a machine last night and it was AWESOME!

 

 I just was so on fire last night it was magical! Everything aligned exactly the way it should have and I felt relief too because I was scared by how I felt Sunday/Monday/Tuesday.  My run Tuesday morning slightly made me questions running.  But I also knew that it was a phase.  Last night my fears were squelched as I ran and felt so good.  Yeah!

So yesterday I also posted these things to Instagram.  This was my afternoon snack attack.  I stopped at a Plaid Pantry and since my metabolism seems to be off the charts these days, picked up these delicious apple chips.  They were pretty good honestly.  And my rock star of course!  And then  I made this lovely collage of my beautiful muscles.  I took these photos Tuesday night.  And I just feel well, awesome!

Which leads me to last night.  Post my crazy exercise high workout I was deeply thinking about running, and how happy I was with my workout and how happy running actually makes me and I posted this.

And this was my commentary I wrote about this picture and I wanted to just cut and paste it here because well, it was that good. HA HA.

If you can't get it off of your mind it's probably pretty important. Over 10 years ago I subscribed to runner’s world magazine and would tear out ads with motivational quotes and sayings and hang them on my wall. I was obsessed with the idea of a marathon of course at the time I’d never ran anything but a few miles on a treadmill. But for over 10 plus years I carried around the idea- the dream -of running a marathon in my heart. The thought came and went multiple times in my life. A few years ago I watched the New York marathon live on TV when they broadcast it and it brought tears to my eyes. I secretly deep down wanted that but was too afraid to say it out loud. Never ever give up on your dreams. In less than 32 days this forever dream becomes a reality. I will run maui marathon  and cross the finish line of my first Marathon. I say first because in my heart I know it's just the first. I haven't even done it yet and I already know this is but the beginning. I am a runner! My heart belongs to this. It's always wanted this. I've known it in my core for over 10 plus years. So excited to run Maui. This is exactly as it was always meant to happen!

I just felt really good yesterday clearly and then this morning I woke up and I felt even better. I weighed myself and low and behold the number was amazing, epic and nothing I even remotely expected.

135.8

Yes, you read that right.  I was so impressed by the number I had to take a picture.  I don’t normally take photos of the scale, EVER, but this one called for it.

So yes, this morning I felt on top of the freaking world.  And why shouldn’t I?  I mean, we all do realize that this is well, almost the goal.  The crazy over the top goal for myself was 135 pounds and there that number reads 135, well and 8/10 of a pound so really closer to 136 but nonetheless, the first part is a 135.  I will take it.  This is close enough for me to be excited.  Because this number, while completely unexpected, is completely earned.  I only can feel good about a number if I earned it properly.  And I earn numbers properly by working hard, and loving myself and eating real foods and just pure self-love.  It’s hard to live your whole life with self-love.  It’s not an easy task really. I do understand this concept.  But I try hard to make it all about good positive things.

This also represents a 2 pound loss from last week. CRAZY!  I knew my metabolism was crazy wonky this week. I knew it was ramped up in overdrive.  I knew I was constantly hungry and I was eating more than I “wanted” but eating what I felt like I needed.  This is why.  My body is working hard and its burning and its doing its thing.  2 pound loss is FANTASTIC.  I really am blown away by that.  That is not a number I expected to see for a few more weeks.  And that leads me to the reality that I still have 4 weeks, and 4 more weigh ins until Maui.  I don’t plan on changing a single thing in my diet/plan/lifestyle.  The reason is this is the very first time in my entire life that I feel like what I am doing is good and healthy and maintainable for the most part long term.

I do think eventually my workouts will slow a bit and I won’t be logging as many running hours for sure.  But the foods I am eating, all the choices I am making are good and okay with me.  I have for the most part cleared a lot of the junk out of my diet and I notice it. I feel it.  I just FEEL better.  And that is why I want to continue to live this way, forever honestly.  This is maintainable for me because its eating enough quality food to fuel my body and make me feel good.  There are still enough treats thrown in there for good measure to keep my mind satisfied.

I would also like to talk about something else last night.  In class, a woman whose been taking class with me for the last few months looked at me and said, “you have really slimmed down in the time I’ve known you. I can totally tell.”  I said, yeah, I’m down about 15 pounds I think, its marathon training.”  And she was like, “Oh, okay. I didn’t know what you were doing but I knew you were hardcore.”  And that made me smile.  Apparently I am “hardcore” and it’s always nice for someone to notice weight loss or getting smaller.  I honestly know I’ve gotten smaller and my clothes fit better and different but on a real visual level it’s hard for me to totally see all the changes.  At this point from the beginning of May, after I got back from Vegas, and really started the training plan I am down almost 19 pounds.  I was hovering around that pesky 155 pound mark.

There is nothing wrong with being 155 pounds.  It seems to be a good set point for my body and I can live and be happy, etc.  I also never believe that I can maintain any sort of lifestyle that puts me at a lower weight than that.  Every single time I have ever dipped into the 130’s in my life I have to admit it has been incredibly unhealthy and nearly impossible for me to stick with.  Not only did I look bad (skinny fat as they call it) No muscles, etc., but I was exhausted and starving myself and playing all sorts of mental head games.  It was not out of love for sure.

Therefore, I have never believed it possible for my body to live in the 130’s and be happy and healthy.  I was wrong.  It’s all about perspective and intention.  I am doing all things with love and that makes a huge difference.  I haven’t starved myself to get here.  I haven’t beat myself up.  I have fueled my body and treated it like the awesome powerful thing it is.  And FINALLY I feel like I can live like this because it’s such a good place to be at.

Back in February when I first decided to run a marathon I was thinking about my weight, which was around 155, and how much harder it was to run and that ideally my “goal” for Maui would be around 135 pounds. That I would love to lose 20 pounds but I just didn’t know if it was possible.  WOW!  I’m sorry to keep harping on it, but it’s just a major milestone for me and I feel great.  Things are just coming together. My heart is so full!