I am Spartan!

Okay buckle up friends for this long and windy post about this weekend.  This weekend was a million times better than last so that is a plus! Let’s get started at the very beginning. Back to Friday afternoon/night.  I was REALLY dreading and scared of Spartan.  I have to admit that the closer I got the more freaked out I was becoming.  Hence this..

I was trying to keep it positive and uplifting, but the truth is my stomach was turning in terror of some sort. I knew Spartan was the hardest of all obstacle course races and honestly for the last year I’ve listened to Amanda talk about how hard it was.  This is the only organized event/race she has ever done.  She did Spartan last year with her mom and honestly from the way she talked post-race it was like a near death experience for her. She was quite battered and bruised after the fact and she pretty much hated every second of it.  So needless to say I was terrified.  But here’s the deal.  She is not an organized event person. She is not an endurance person.  She is not a runner.  I have come to discover that my excessive running makes me quite badass.  The tolerance and threshold for pain is quite high, as the level of discomfort we endure exceeds the 2 hour mark.  Sure, a gym person can lift and keep lifting heavy for a few seconds even minutes but then they break.  Not an endurance athlete there is no break.  And all of this endurance training has completely prepared me for physical torture that is excessive.  Amanda said her Spartan race took her over 2 hours or so.  And afterwards she came home and slept for hours and hours and was so exhausted.  I wasn’t theoretically worried about that, I mean I do run half’s every weekend.  But I was scared of the actual obstacles. 

Nonetheless Friday night I got home and was searching thru my clothes drawer to get outfits ready for Saturday and came across this well, I am not going to lie, this was a workout “top” but it was extra-long and I was like, this could totally be a freaking dress. So I pulled the shirt down into a dress and then I just happened to look a certain way in the mirror and saw all these muscles and such and was like, Bam, are you serious, is that my freaking back and arms.  And then these photos happened.

I actually was so blown away.  Yes, when you lose weight those muscles really do start popping in crazy good ways.  So that was totally some happiness for me.  Then Chris got home and he had totally been bitching about wanting to go to The Rock Pizza place so I agreed. I didn’t want to go. I’ve been before and didn’t really care for the food but whatever, I appeased my husband.  I was in a great mood post seeing myself in those pictures.  But we got to the pizza place and we ordered a Hawaiian pizza to share.  I ate 3 giant slices. I only wanted 2 but Chris was like, just eat this one.  Ultimately we pretty much ate the whole pizza because it was there. Not because it was that great.  In fact it was quite oily and gross and Chris kept saying this isn’t that good. I was like, nope, told you.  But we did it.  It happened.  And afterwards going home we both felt sick.  We honestly haven’t eaten that much grease in forever and our bodies don’t react well.  It was like a giant lead weight in my stomach.  But I made Chris happy and oh well.  I am trying to live a little more this week. 

We pretty much went to bed and then woke up at a reasonable time on Saturday. Our Spartan start time wasn’t until much later in the day.  I made some protein pancakes.  We got dressed. Got crap together and then stopped for some energy drinks and off we went about 10 AM.  We got to the area (longer drive) and decided to eat at Subway before the race and then we’d have the other 6” after the race before we got to my second event of the day. 

We pulled up to the Spartan event at about 12:30 PM and our start time was 1:30 Pm.  We met my cousin Chelsea and her husband Tim there and signed our initial waiver that basically says this is real, dangerous shit and you could actually really hurt yourself and/or die and therefore not our fault. All on you. Ha Ha. I truly think it’s the fear of the unknown that scares me the most. More than any actual thing.  It’s the big idea that somehow I’m still not good enough or strong enough or fit enough.  It’s a generalized fear.  But the truth is there are people of all shapes and sizes out there doing this. More power to them but I probably shouldn’t be as afraid as I am.  I think I will always be that way.

I kept hearing people say how awful and hard and tough it was.  I do think that if you were going balls out, sprinting and trying to epically complete this for time it could be majorly rough. And it also depends on the people you are surrounded by.  By going later in the day we were defiantly with less competitive people which was nice.

Before we started I got my number sharpie markered on me like a real badass and I felt pretty tough.  My cousin Chelsea took photos of us at the start line and we were pretty much off and running. One obstacle at a time I told myself.  I can do this. Don’t look at the big picture just go obstacle by obstacle.  And so we started running.  And up hills. And that I got. I can run. I can climb hills.  All right in my wheelhouse.  The first mile or so were pretty much just getting thru the woods no real obstacles.  There was almost immediately a jump in a giant mud pit though.  And then track uphill all muddy and by this late in the day the course was really muddy.  And therefore slippery.  That was slightly a challenge. But again, I got this.

The real obstacles didn’t hit until later on the course.  Even about halfway thru the 4 plus mile course we had only done a couple obstacles that didn’t seem that tough. I wasn’t having much of a challenge at that point.  But the second half of the course is defiantly where all the obstacles really hit.  Intense. Badass, hardcore.  I don’t even remember all of them.  But lots of dirty ass mud.  Let’s see, lots of walls to get over.  I was pretty solid. The shorter ones I had no problem.  The taller like, 6 feet and 8 feet one’s I needed a foot boost. Then I hopped right over them.  We had to carry sandbags up and around a hill.  We had to put a fairly heavy tree log on us and carry it around. I’d say like 40-60 pounds but it was just awkward as fuck.  And I could feel the pressure on my neck as I carried it like a barbell for a while, then shifted to one side and then carried it in my front. It was quite a rolling up and down to carry it. I did it, beast style and I felt proud and accomplished.

More running. More walls. More cargo net style climbs.  I freaking LOVE climbing cargo nets.  This is a funny interesting thing I’ve learned about myself.  Perhaps I’m slightly monkey but I get a real thrill from climbing up cargo nets and over the other side back down.  Just fun!  The first road block for me came via monkey bars.  Because essentially they were spaced to far apart. I can do regular monkey bars but these were much larger distances and honestly I’m short and have short arms and fully stretched from one to the other, my arm just wasn’t long enough.  Fail.  30 burpees for me.  Yup, that happened.  On to the next obstacle.

The next 2 obstacles right in a row was where it first really hit me that I was a truly fit chick and could keep up with any other woman on this course.  The first was a giant round heavy ass ball.  You had to pick it up and carry to the other side, drop it and do burpees and then carry it back.  I walked right up to it, bent down and picked it up and carried it with EASE.  EASE I tell you.  It was probably like 60-80 pounds.  No problem. I carry 110 pound barbells all the time.  I watched woman after woman walk up to those balls and bend down and go, Nope. No Way. That’s so heavy, I can’t do that.  Forget it. I just shook my head.  Picked her back up and walked it over to the other side.  Right after that was a 80 is pound sand bag in a wheelbarrow top.  It was just the top not on wheels and you had to drag it with all your upper body strength from one side to the other and then go and pull it back.  It was tough. And getting started was hard, but once I gave it some yanks and dug my feet in I got it.  And watching the other girls around me it was at this moment that I realized I was in fact every bit as in shape as not only I needed to be, but that I was actually excelling at this course.  That I had every right to be there. That I was doing this. Now with all that said, I am not as fit or badass as I am sure the earlier competitive people were but I was good enough.  I was blowing away my own expectations.

On to the next obstacle.  This is the one I was the proudest of.  There was a rope hanging elevated in the air, at an upwards angle.  You had to hold onto the rope and get your feet up in the air and put your hands and feet on the rope and crawl up the rope and ring a bell.  I wasn’t sure if I could do it. It looked hard.  I stood at the base where I could touch the ground and put my hands on the rope.  I kicked my legs up to try and hook them on the rope. I failed. I did it again. Fail.  And then finally 3^rd time was the charm.  My legs actually were hooked on the rope. I had done it.  Now I had to crawl on the rope. I didn’t want to just slide my legs and jack them all up. Rope burn. I literally crawled hand over hand, leg over leg across that rope.  Arms burning by the time I got close to the bell.  I looked over and my stupid bell was farther up than other ropes. I had somehow picked the farthest one out.  I was feet away from it.  Then I heard Chris and Tim yell at me, you got this Emily.  And I gave it one more push and rang the bell.  I did it.  I dropped down and I have almost never been prouder of myself. I can NOT believe I just did that.  My arms were on fire. My arms pumped. My biceps fried.  And I freaking crawled on a suspended rope in the air for a good 10-12 feet.  AMAZING. Anything else I did or did not do didn’t matter at that point. I had already succeeded.

Next obstacle immediately following that arm burnout was jump in a mud pit so your shoes have zero traction and then climb up a wall using only the rope and your upper body strength since your feet have zero help.  And like a badass I pulled myself up a steep sloped wall using only my upper body.  And hoisted myself over. At the top there was a sketchy moment where I thought I was sliding back down because my arms were so pumped, but I managed to hoist myself over and climb down.  Badass moment complete.

We were about 3 miles into the course at this point.  Then we got to what was definitely the maddest, dirtiest, yuckiest part of the whole course.  A giant I’d say 20 foot section of up and down hills, belly crawled thru the mud under real barbed wire.  Up and down, up and down.  The crawling thru the mud was tedious and uncomfortable but the ultimate challenge was the mud in the eyes.  Everything is soaked in mud and I got mud in one of my eyes and it was stinging. I could not open it. My hands were covered in mud so I could not wipe it away and I looked up and I had FAR to go like that. Pain.  Not to mention crawling on your belly thru rocky mud tore the shit out of my shirt. Little rock sided holes all over it.  When I final finished they did have a guy with a hose being an asshole saying just stick your hands in quick and get out.  I did it a couple times to try and clean out my eye so I could see again.  Eek.

After the mud crawl it was time to fill up a 5 gallon bucket with rocks and carry it up and down a giant ass hill.  I have to admit I cheated and did not obviously fill the entire bucket up.  I filled like maybe 1/3 to a ½ of it.  It was enough and I didn’t care at all. None of the women really were filling it completely.  It was hard enough like that. Up the crazy steep hill. But down the hill was harder.  Holding a 5 gallon bucket is intense as it is.  Not a real easy way to do it.  Bear hug is about your only option.  No handles of course and that probably would hurt more anyway.  After that it was walls with little ledges like a rock wall.  And then guess what my friends another giant mud pit with a wall. Of course, this one, was not an over but an under.  Yup jump in the mud pit and then completely submerge yourself and swim underneath the wall to the other side.  I am a good swimmer but there is a slightly terrifying fear of swimming in a mud pit under a wall you don’t know how deep it is.  So I stuck my arms out and felt for the wall and kicked and swam as fast as I possibly could to the other side. I survived. Completely submerged in a mud pit.  After that it was a VERY steep hike up a giant muddy hill. At the top it was so steep there were ropes to pull you up.  My feet were sliding everywhere. I did not want to go back down the hill. Chris and Matt came over and helped to try and pull me up while trying to not fall down themselves.  Intense.  I have to admit at this point we were getting tired and I was getting close to wanting to be done.  It was fun.  I was having a blast but it was hard and I was exhausted.  But we weren’t quite done yet.

It was ring crossing.   Those hanging rings swing from one to the next.  Yeah. Not going to happen. I don’t have the momentum or reach for it.  I took the 30 burpee penalty and moved on.  Almost there in the home stretch.  The final obstacle was climb a rope latter and ring the bell at the top.  I got in the mud pit and got myself up on the hanging rope. I got up one section before I was like, not happening. I kind of wanted to try honestly but everything was mud soaked and honestly the ropes were to close together and I was swinging and afraid I was going to hit someone else so I just dropped. And took another 30 burpee penalty.  So honestly out of like 20 or 25 obstacles or something like that I only had to take 3 penalties so that was pretty good for me.  And finally as the last obstacle we had to jump over a log pile and jump into another mud pit to finish it off.  I have never been so soaked in mud.  I was completely a muddy as mess.

It took us over 2 hours to finish this thing.  Not the fastest time but it wasn’t ever about time.  These obstacles were intense and hard.  This was by far the hardest obstacle race I have done, as expected, but it wasn’t impossible.  In fact I far exceeded every single expectation that I had.  I fully think I am badass enough to do this and that was a valuable lesson learned.  I am much stronger both physically and mentally than I give myself credit for.  My body is used to performing at high levels for 2 hours so honestly it didn’t bother me all that much.  I was ready to be done because I wanted to change honestly.  And speaking of that. We were cutting it really close on the time for the next event that we had to attend. 

Nothing like changing out in a field, trying to dump 2 liters of water on your body, getting naked and putting on new clothes all quickly and discreetly.  It is hard.  And I was so freaking filthy it wasn’t even funny.  Disgusting.  Dirt everywhere. And we were pressed for time so I had to rush.  I tried my best but I was just a mess honestly.  Into the car, race over to the Cosmo 7k run/walk.

Here’s the deal. I could have ran.  I had enough energy and desire to run but I was with my mom, sister and two aunts who were not going to come close to running. In fact the goal was to not die while walking for them.  So I mentally agreed to walk with them.  I kind of wish I ran.  But whatever.  I felt like a total badass with my Spartan number still sharpie markered on my arm.  Of course other people probably thought I was a pretentious ass.  But whatever. I didn’t have time to really clean up.  Chris volunteered at the all women run and he got to mix drinks and had a blast.  I got there, hooked up with my family and collected goodies. Yup, yup.  By this point I was fairly starving. Actually scratch that immediately after the Spartan I was famished. They handed us cliff protein bars and I downed mine.  300 calories, didn’t care one bit. I ate my other half of my subway sandwich in the car and still was hungry.  I have no idea how many calories I actually burned while doing Spartan but I am sure it was a lot.  2 hours of intensity probably not as dedicated as a half marathon in terms of heart rate but a totally different kind of exercise.  But I was more famished post this than I am a half marathon so who knows. My body is used to running 13.1 miles, it isn’t used to this.

So anyway, I was hungry but then I proceeded to do the walk with my family. It took us over an hour and boy did my legs want to run.  I skipped, I jogged backwards. I tried.  But alas, it was more about hanging with my family. I also didn’t know if I’d be in shape to run after Spartan but it turns out I totally could have. When we got back to the post party it was pretty awesome. The Cosmo run is fun!!! Of course there were cosmos.  And of course in my famished state a little alcohol goes a long way.  We got 2 cosmos but the longer you hang out the more generous people get with the alcohol and we ended up drinking as many as we wanted which for me was 4.  And I felt it.  Haven’t drank in a long while. And then I ate. Because when you drink, you eat. And so I ate lots of little Luna bars.  And nut packs that they have. And they all were delicious.  But I kept eating.

And then on our way home we stopped at the grocery store, and boy were we exhausted at this point because it had been a very long day and I got cookies and a donut.  Yup, alcohol cravings. So I ate a frosted sprinkled donut and 2 delicious giant cookies. Oops.  My body wanted the sugar. I have no idea how many calories I ate. TOO many.  But oh well. I kind of burned a ton between the Spartan and walking 4.35 miles.  I was so tired I can’t even tell you.  Running on pure fumes at this point. But I finished Spartan and I couldn’t have been prouder with myself about that.

I was terrified. Literally terrified, but I did it!  And that is happiness. And now I get to say I am a Spartan.  No one gets to take that away from me. It’s kind of a badass hard race.  And I really did well in my estimation.  In fact, I totally would sign up and do it again next year. So that tells you something.  In fact I am sure Chris Tim and I will probably do lots of these obstacle races together in the future.  We have such a good time together on them!  So fun!  And yes, I had a really good time, a really good day and I am just so proud of myself for not backing down from the challenge because I am much more capable than I give myself credit for. My cousin Chelsea emailed me this pictures post event but she couldn’t actually go on the course so these were just the ones that were close by at the start/end.

And then at this point it was sleep and on to Sunday.  And yes, Sunday we slept in and I didn’t want to do a damned thing. I woke up with bruises. Lots of bruises in lots of places.  War wounds.  Battle wounds.

My marathon training called for a 6.5 mile run. I didn’t want to do it. Not because I was too sore or in pain but because mentally it’s tough sometimes.  In fact I procrastinated far too long in the morning and then it got hot. And then we started cleaning as in epic deep cleaning and spent like 4 hours cleaning our house and avoiding running I think.  But I did some really good deep much needed organizing.  I cleaned out drawers of clothes. Emptied lots of clothes I don’t wear that were taking up valuable real estate in the drawers and shifted stuff around.  I moved my sports bras into 2 drawers because cramming them all into 1 was not cutting it.  And now they are pretty and easier to locate the exact bra I’m after.

And this made me utterly happy on so many levels. I also organized my regular bra drawer, my swimsuit drawer and moved around my race shirts into 2 drawers. I cleaned up my “dressing room” and we did bedsheets and pillows and all the stuff we’ve been putting off.  And I felt really happy and accomplished with that.  But then it was too hot to run. And I kept putting it off and I didn’t want to.  I really didn’t want to.  I tried to talk myself into taking the day off because I didn’t want to do it.  That it would be okay.  And then I remembered that I can’t do that. That I’ve come this far not missing a single run and I kind of pride myself on hitting every mark that it’s that important to me, not because the run matters that much. Clearly I am getting in the physical training, but is the mental part that matters. It’s doing the things that are mentally tough.

Chris and I went to Target for some stuff while we waited for it too cool down outside.  Again with the procrastination.  Somewhere in Target I crashed.  Like physically my energy level dropped and I wanted to cry because I didn’t want to run.  I was hungry and functioning on too little. I told Chris I needed carbs, stat.  We stopped at Big Town Hero and I ate a delicious turkey avocado sandwich in an effort to be able to push thru and run soon.  We got home, I unloaded the purchases, and then I prepped our chicken for the week to get that smoking on the BBQ and then I decided it was now or never. I didn’t want to.  But I am not a quitter. I told myself that I would force myself to run even if it was a shorter distance or even if I was slow as hell, I’d run.  And so we started. It was like 6:45 PM at this point but the weather was cooler and cooling down as we ran and I was grateful at this point I waited this long because anything earlier would have really sucked.   So we ran. The first mile was brutal. It takes a few to warm up. And then it felt good. Like that kind of good that you are like, oh yeah, this is why I run. I got this. Mile 2 and 3 were blissful. I hit a 9:14 and a 9:10 minute mile. REALLY good for me.  And then mile 4 was okay. Mile 5 I survived and then I started cramping and had to use the bathroom. Mile 6 got rough. A cramp and then a need to go. And then it went away and then stated again.  By the time I saw the actual 6 mile mark and knew I had ½ a mile to go I was hanging on just trying to get home at this point to use the bathroom.

I made it. And I was happy, really happy with my overall time.  Especially considering getting out the door was such a freaking struggle all day. I let it linger over my head and pester me.  I wish I would have just done it early on but whatever.  1:02:18 for a 6.55 mile run.  An overall pace of 9:31.  Not too bad for me.  But more importantly it was done. After I used the bathroom I felt great. Happy. High. Runners High giddy and proud that I did it despite not wanting to. Proud that I kept my word to myself, my promise to complete every single training run.  I am kind of obsessive and insane like that. Yes, I did it.

And then we walked the dogs, ate dinner and went to bed. What an insane crazy weekend.  What a fun, confidence-boosting weekend.  SOOOO good.  I’m so proud of myself for this weekend.  Such a good one.  Had great epic moments. Actually felt good to accomplish some stuff around the house too. Get things organized and clean.  And still get my run in. Life was good this weekend.

Food could have been better but I’m not freaking out about it.  I realize last week’s crazy had a lot to do with my period. Oops.  I feel much calmer and relaxed already. Plus I haven’t gotten on the scale but realistically I’m not even tempted because I ate so bad. But whatever.  It’s going to be what it’s going to be. Realistically I’m not even that mad at myself for the food.  It could have been worse for sure. Might have been better without the donut and cookies but eh.  This is a week that no matter what the scale says on Thursday I am going to accept it and embrace it and be proud because it will be earned.

This morning I woke up feeling great as a result of this weekend.

And now I get a week to keep moving forward towards my goals.  Full of possibilities.  This week is going to be interesting for me because this weekend is my first ever run longer than 13.1 miles. Yup. That is happening this weekend.  But I’ve got days to think about that still. Right now I’m just focusing on today which is a 3 mile run tonight and class and that’s probably it.  Since tomorrow morning I wake up as per the Tuesday morning ritual as of late and at least for the next 5 weeks, to run my 6.5 miles.  I honestly think sometimes I picked too easy of a training plan.  That I think maybe I should be running more mileage. But of course I picked an easy one on purpose because when I started I didn’t even want to really do a training plan. I didn’t want to commit and I didn’t think I’d like it.  I kind of just wanted to show up and run the thing.  Now I slightly wish I had been more ambitious with myself.  But of course I never really stick to the exact mileage anyway. I am already far and above beyond the mileage and number of runs it wanted so maybe it will all be okay anyway.

Also, this morning or rather today I am noticing that I am more sore than I was yesterday. (48 hour rule) and my back is really sore. A lot of upper body work at the Spartan. Lots of using my back to pull and push myself around.  And I’ve got a lot of bruises.  And I still feel dirty. Ha Ha.  That was a lot of mud!  So anyway, I feel great nonetheless and should be back at this tonight. One of the longest posts I’ve ever written right there.  Geesh. Intense.