Short & Sweet

This is going to be a short and sweet kind of post today because well, not only do I not really feel it (I am crazy tired!)  but my boss is in the office.  Which is neither here nor there. I am sure I’ve mentioned before that I work for two brothers and I pretty much love them both. Great guys! Very “real” which is so nice.  But anyway lets go back to yesterday.  This was my mid-day post.

Then I headed off to the gym.  I wasn’t really sure how things were all going to turn out, I didn’t exercise Sunday and as it turns out last night was HARD. So much harder than I had anticipated.  I got to the gym and immediately got on the treadmill to run. I was supposed to do a 3 mile run. Typically this turns into more for me because I feel it. Last night it was slow going and that horrible feeling of my heart wanting to beat out of my chest and my lungs tightening up and not breathing properly just didn’t go away. It was miserable.  I ran 1.5 miles before class. I just assumed I wasn’t fully warmed up and it would get better. I went to class.  We had to sprint outside in the crazy heat and I felt terrible.  And then we did class and I just didn’t feel all that awesome about any of it.  I did it of course but eh was the outcome.  Afterwards I had to do another 1.5 miles, typically I get on there and 1.5 seems like not enough and I end up running a lot more.  Last night, the feeling of wanting to die returned and I told myself another 1.5 miles was enough. That 3 miles total, exactly as the training plan called for was enough. I knew I was off. I knew something was wrong.  My muscles were tolerating the run, but it’s like internally I wasn’t. GREAT.

 

I went home. We walked the dogs. I ate. I was tired. I of course had to get up this morning to do my 6.5 pre work run.  Tuesdays are the day.  I have concluded waking up never ever gets easier. I was a little nervous because of how shitty I felt last night.  But I got up.  But I REALLY had to talk myself into it.

I started running and immediately that shortness of breath and the horrible, I hate every second of this feeling returned. I was running at a snail’s pace. I told myself that was okay.  Clearly this was just a recovery run from running 26.2 miles on Saturday. Clearly my body is not fully ready.  My muscles are okay. But something internally is off. I am drained honestly.  So I didn’t push myself and pretty much every single second of that 6.5 miles cursed running.  I hated it.  Nothing enjoyable there. But I did it.  And for today that is all that matters. I did my training run as outlined and I get to cross it off.  You know I’m not missing a run now, right? Even if it sucks ass.

I felt pretty shitty about it all honestly. I don’t have a good feeling and I still feel tired and lethargic and hungry. Perhaps clearly I am still off.  So I got ready for work and made it in to the office where I spent most of my day actually working. Funny right? 

This was this morning and then my afternoon thinking about success. And how I will succeed because of my crazy determination and even on days like today when I really don’t want to, I do it anyway because success is honestly my only option. I don’t fail. I won’t fail.

And that brings me to right now. Tired. Not looking forward to the gym, but going anyway. Grateful my longer run is done.  I only have to run 3 more miles by Friday.  Between now and Friday just 3 silly little miles.  I can do that.  Let’s not talk about Saturday just yet and the long run that will happen. I’m ignoring that for a few more days, or at least until my body feels a smidge better.  Until I feel like I might actually “want” to run again. Right now I don’t feel like running is fun and that’s how I know I overworked it.  But 3 little miles, yeah, I can and I WILL do that.  So short and sweat, there you have it.