Holy hell this day has gone by. That is what happens when you are fucking off
at work. Yup, I said it. It’s the truth. I got to work late. I did do a couple work related things yes,
and then I left to go to the mall to hit up Victoria Secret for their Pink
Friday sale. They had some good deals, I
had some coupons. You know how that
goes. Then I went out and did more work
errands, got the mail, dropped stuff off at the bosses house. Made a stop for a couple more things and then
I stopped at Safeway for groceries. Yup,
I did all of that. Oops. But sometimes
on a Friday shit like that happens. And
then I am now back at work just now getting to this. Guess that makes the day fly by way faster
and that is always a good thing.
Wow, I feel so much better than I did yesterday or really
the day prior. Just mentally giving
myself permission to lessen the reins has made a huge difference. I just feel like I can breathe and in the
spirit of breathing I am going out to dinner tonight, date night, with my
husband. We are going to the Rock Pizza
place. I am not sure what I am
having. Maybe pizza. But I did look up the nutritional information
and it is REALLY bad. I am not sure if
after being so anal with my food if I can actually put that many empty calories
into me. I don’t know. Maybe. There really isn’t much better on the menu so
I will probably just eat the pizza, you know.
But I feel okay today so it’s all good.
Yesterday I really did forgive myself for the previous week.
That is step 1 in making this week better. Just forgiving myself my flaws. So that happened. I changed into my workout clothes and I was
pretty tired and gave myself permission to just do a 1 mile warm up run and
then take boot camp class which was threatened to be extra hard. It was. It
really was. So after I did 3 rounds of
hellish torture and I burned 400 calories I decided that was just enough for
the evening. Good enough. And I was
completely at peace with this decision.
It was a solid hour of work on my part and an hour workout is great.
So after that went down I went home and showered and did my
thing and it was all good enough. Chris made an amazing dinner for us that I gladly ate up. Steak. Yup, I ate a small little piece of
real steak. I don’t normally eat bonified red meated stuff but on occasion it
is okay. I put yogurt blue cheese
dressing on it with onions and it was magnificent. Truly.
So that happened. Along with corn
on the cob, a baby red baked potato, grilled zucchini and bread. Yup, sometimes I am spoiled as my husband
cooked all of this real delicious yumminess.
Then we pretty much fell asleep because we are both tried more often
than not. But I felt better.
So I awoke this morning and boy did I feel much better. Probably because today is Friday and my rest
day. My much needed rest day for sure
and that makes me happy. Plus I knew it was date night and honestly Chris and I
need it as well after last weekend and my horrible mood swings of this
week. Yup, we need a nice be happy date night. Yeah!
And then this morning I made this little collage showcasing
my lovely bedroom converted to my sort of walk in closet/dressing room. It does have some dressers of clothing in it,
in addition to the bookcase of shoes and all those other shoes and I get to
decorate it all girly with Barbie prints and pretties that make me happy.
And then I got to work and the aforementioned day
started. Oh boy. And now it’s 3:15 and I’m almost done for the
day and that is happiness. My plan of
action for this week is to be kinder to myself.
No scales. Eat out with my husband. Eat when I am hungry. Like eat more maybe? I am not doing a bad job on nutrition
really. I am not starving myself by any
means. But I do tend to think that at
points I push my hunger a little too much.
So this week I am going to try and focus on eating when I need it and as
long as its good quality stuff that makes me feel good it will be okay. That means bananas and yogurt and chicken and
various other things of this sort. Or
light popcorn or I don’t know a million other non-processed things that are
good for my body as a whole. That is the
plan.
I feel a sense of relief already today knowing that I am not
weighing myself for a solid week. That I will not be slave to that stupid
idiotic thing. It does not control nor
define me. It probably doesn’t hurt that
the photos I took last night at the gym, flexing, reminded me that I do still
have arm muscles and they are not in fact all disappearing. So yeah to that.
So I haven’t talked about it much but suddenly I find myself
at the reality that tomorrow is Spartan Day. Yup, somehow months ago I got
talked into doing the Spartan race with my family. There were 6 of us who
signed up for it. Chris and I, my cousin Tim (who I did all the other obstacle
races with) my brother in law Matt and my cousin Garrett and his fiancé. I didn’t REALLY want to do Spartan if I’m
being perfectly honest. I know it’s
hard. I know its way harder than the
other obstacle races. Amanda did it last
year and constantly talks about how horrific it was. I try to gauge and temper
that with she doesn’t do organized events so maybe she just isn’t really
prepared for that. But still, I wasn’t the one who initiated Spartan. In my
world I would not have done it. Actually
my brother in law Matt was the driving force behind it so we all did it for
him, safety in numbers right?
Well, are you ready for it, not shockingly honestly, last
week Matt decides to tell me and Tim that he can’t do the race because he has
to work. Sure, he probably does have to
work. But I call BS on it because for as much as he wanted to do it and as
bummed as he is about not being able to, you honestly would think he could get
out of working if he really wanted to.
Bottom line is this my friends; he’s scared. He hasn’t been working out. Whatever.
And then low and behold my cousin Garrett and his fiancé also are
bailing on it because they have a birthday party to go to. Um, okay.
So who does that leave? Yup, you
guessed it. Me, Chris who only really tags along on all this stupid shit
because of me, and my cousin Tim who has done the other 2 obstacle course races
with me. Tim was like, you aren’t going
to bail on me right? I’m like of course
not. I wouldn’t. Even though honestly I’m terrified of Spartan and really don’t
necessarily want to do it. But I would
not ever bail on Tim. That’s now who I
am. So tomorrow I go and Spartan and I
am scared but I will do it anyway.
Because I don’t back down.
Spartan is going to be rough as hell. I am fully aware of that. I am also fully
scared. But it’s going to happen anyway.
Scared or not. And then immediately AFTER
Spartan, however long that shit takes (2 hours???) Maybe more, I go to a 7k
run/walk. Well, it’s a “run” but I’m
doing it with my mom and 2 aunts and sister who all walk. Period. So I will be walking with them. After Spartan that probably is a good idea to
walk. Of course if I suddenly somehow get a gust of energy maybe I will just
run the damned thing and then come back and walk with them. Who knows. We will see.
Its 4.35 miles in case you were wondering what exactly a 7k is. But it’s the Cosmo 7K, meaning I get 2 cosmos
drinks post run. It’s an all-female event.
Chris is volunteering at it so he will go. Because honestly I don’t say
it enough Chris is actually a pretty good husband to me. I may bitch here and there, but when he is
right in the head, he does love and pamper and dote on me. And It’s kind of a wonderful thing. He is volunteering at the event because he
will be up there. He is only even doing
any of it because of me, to be with me, to bond us. Yes, he does fortunately actually
really love running so that does help.
But anyway, if not for me, I don’t know how much he would end up just
doing on his own. He loves me.
Anyway. That is
happening tomorrow. No half marathon
this weekend and I am kind of sad about that honestly. Crazy, right?
I’ve done 5 half marathons in the past 5 weekends and you’d think I’d
want a break, but I don’t. I wish I was
doing a half marathon instead. But alas,
there wasn’t really one anyway. And alas
I agreed to Spartan so that is what I am doing.
This does mean that on Sunday I do have to run. Yup, after I Spartan and
then walk a 7k, on Sunday I will run 6.5 as per the training plan. You see, the training plan does only call for
a 6.5 mile run this weekend as it mentally or rather physically prepares me for
NEXT weekend which is my first longer run than 13.1 miles, um, ever. I will be doing 15.5 miles the following
Saturday. A 5k run followed by a half marathon.
So this weekend I am supposed to rest my legs a bit. But I do need to do
my 6.5 miler on Sunday. I will make sure
that happens. So that is what is going
on this weekend for me. I’m nervous.
Totally nervous about Spartan. It will be interesting…. And yes, that is the
best possible word I can formulate right now.
INTERESTING. I am going to be
bruised up and physically exhausted and probably at points scared shitless but
I will power thru it all. I am not a quitter. I am a beast! Ha Ha. Ugh. Sigh. Scared….
So rest for me today, so that I can Spartan tomorrow. And get along with my crazy weekend. Boy I’m an interesting nut right?
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