The one where I did 26.2

Holy crazy batman kind of weekend! I don’t even know what that sentence means.  That’s how crazy fried my brain really is.  But here’s the deal-io.  I came, I ran, I conquered. I surprised the hell out of myself.  Truly.  Yes, it’s one thing to claim to be nervous about doing something but secretly think that you are going to be amazing epic at it.  It’s entirely another thing to have enough belief in yourself that you are willing to try something but have a real genuine fear of the outcome.  I was the later my friends.  I believed in myself enough to go ahead an attempt it but I had a reasonable, realistic fear of failure.  I have run many half marathons.  But let me say this, the FARTHEST distance I have ever run in my entire life is 13.1 miles.  Okay, maybe like 13.5 when some of those damned marathons run long.  But you get my point.  I have never run any distance greater than that. 

I know marathon training plans have you build up week by week to get to larger distances because they don’t want you to hurt your body or fuck it up somehow.  Totally reasonable of course.  Now mind you, I am still only running 13.1 miles at a time and then stopping.  But in some ways I thought this could prove hard on my body.  Have you ever done a hard workout, and then sat and let your muscles tighten up and your body get tired and then expected it to go and do an intense workout AGAIN?  Yeah, I have tried small versions of this, not running another taxing half marathon in the same day.  And therefore I had quite the reasonable fear of it turning out poorly.  But I also had enough faith in myself and my ability to attempt it.  Because well, what the hell, why not right?  As you know this was a last minute kind of decision on Thursday I decided to do this.  So I guess it was good I didn’t have a long time to fret about it.  But the fear was real, but not enough to stop me.  I have known for a while now that my body has been ready to run more than 13.1.  I know at the end of 13.1, I have more in me.  That my body is getting really good and comfortable at that distance and there’s more in the tank.  I just didn’t know how much more.

Running 13.1 and then resting for 7 hours and then running another 13.1 miles is NOT the same thing as running 26.2 miles.   I have no illusions of that.  Running solidly thru is going to be way harder.  I fully expect this and am aware of this reality and that is okay.  This was just a buildup test.  I just wanted to see what I could do, what level I was at.  I passed.  I passed beyond my wildest expectations to be honest.  Before we ran the second half I kept telling Chris both for my own sake and his, that if at any point we feel something amiss, if we feel like we are hurt, or something feels wrong with our bodies we need to stop and walk because it’s not worth risking a real injury for this.  Realistically no one is supposed to just double their running distance without a buildup.  But of course I am not anyone, I am crazy, crazy, crazy.  But I also like to temper all of that with the fact that I am also not like anyone else and I work HARD beyond just running. My body endures a lot and is strong and capable and I can do these insane things.

The plan was simply to run the first half at a comfortable speed.  Whatever I felt good with, do that.  I wasn’t intentionally trying to push myself.  I just wanted to find my zone and go with it.  I would worry about half 2 later.   I wasn’t necessarily trying to conserve energy but I wasn’t try to push it either.  I also have realized that day by day I am getting better and faster at this.  My comfortable pace is much better than it once was.  So when we lined up for the first race and we took off running I just started going to my comfort zone.  And when I finally looked down I was running somewhere in the 9:20 minute mile pace.  I was like, dammed okay.  I had a moment of evaluation, like is this too fast?  Am I unintentionally pushing myself?  And then I was like no, I got this. This feels really good.  My breathing is good. This is super comfortable.  So I just ran.  I also have to point out that I had solid rest beforehand.  I did not exercise Friday and my body was ready to run.  I could tell it wanted to run and it was happy doing it.  The first few miles were just honestly way easier than they have ever been in my life.

And I have to say this was the first time on a run where my brain wondered to a new thought.  A scary thought honestly.  As I was running I was like, this is not that bad.  And running a marathon probably will suck but it I will accomplish it and I am guessing more of them beyond that in my life and then what? And all of a sudden a word popped into my brain. Mind you, this is high on exercise running endorphins.  The word was Ironman.  And then it was like, maybe I am an Iron woman?  I laughed.  Ha Ha.  And then I was like, maybe?  Why not, someday?  That seems like perhaps these are reasonable directions for this to head into.  Let’s run the marathon first.  And then perhaps I should try some Tri’s at some point down the line.  Maybe I won’t, Maybe I will. Maybe it will take me years to get to that point.  But it was a thought that came in my brain.  Just run I told myself.  So I kept going and the mileage ticked away and honestly I felt totally comfortable.  I kept checking pace and all the way up to about mile 7.5 or 8 right before we got to a big giant hill I was right around a 9:20 pace.  And then there was a hill, that I could only barely walk/run up. I did run, but a run up a hill is really like a fast walk.  So I just kept moving.  And the pace slowed a little overall.  No big.

I wasn’t intentionally trying to PR.  I wasn’t really.  I was just running my race.  And eventually I hit the 10 mile mark and I felt okay.  And then mile 11 came and I knew I was on PR pace.  Actually I knew I was on PR pace pretty much the whole race, but you try and not think about it too much because if something happens, it happens.  About mile 11 I started to feel like I wanted to slow down.  And my pace was like at a 9:27, 9:28 or thereabouts.  I knew if I slowed down at that point I would still PR if I ran 10 minute miles but that my overall pace would edge above 9:30 minute miles and for some reason I just wanted my pace to be below 9:30 and I was so freaking close.  So while everything else seemed easy and I wasn’t pushing myself.  The last 2 miles I did push myself enough to keep running at a 9:30 pace.  As I crossed the finish line I KNEW I had it.  I knew I PR’d and I knew it was a 9:28 overall pace.  Seriously, what??? I just PR’d again.  Although I can’t say it was totally shocking because the weather was perfect, the race was relatively flat and this was the first one and I had fresh legs.  I know I still have some faster times in me.  That’s the crazy part.  Because I wasn’t really pushing.  So yup, my PR was set at 2:03:49 Officially.  My previous PR was a few weeks ago at 2:06:09 So I actually shaved a decent amount of time off of that, well for a run. 

First half of the day was a complete success.  But like I said, I wasn’t worried about the first one.  My body knows how to run 13.1 miles in the morning.  What was really concerning was now how I was going to hold up doing this all over again.  Immediately I drank the chocolate milk that was presented to me.  And at a cookie.  And more milk.  Supposed to be good for you post run.  We didn’t stick around too long because we wanted to get home.  The goal was to not allow ourselves to “rest” too much.  I.E., no naps no crazy overindulgences.  We got home, we took the doggies for a walk.  We hung out a little.  And then we got ready to leave again.

We stopped at Subway where we ate bread. And carbs. I got candy.  We were trying out the whole eating sugary candy technique.  I got sweet tarts and bottle caps to suck on while I ran.  New tactic.  We stopped by a campsite where my family had been camping this weekend and hung out for about an hour or so before heading up to race 2.  Long day. Traffic sucked and of course by this point, we really didn’t want to.

About 4 PM I was entirely questioning this decision to run again.  The race started at 6 PM.  I was TIRED.  I felt stiff and I was terrified of getting injured. All real fears.  We arrived at race two and it was a bitch to park.  It was a horrible venue and we didn’t have a great feeling about any of it.  Lovely.  It was supposed to be a flat course, or at least that is what the website said.  But immediately it started with a straight uphill climb.  FUCK.  I had some crazy anxiety nerves before we began because I just didn’t know if my body could do this.  I knew I could run some.  I just wasn’t sure what the limit was.  So we lined up and off we went.  After we got up the hill it was pretty flat for a while.  And I just ran. I told myself, this is all about running whatever you can in the moment.  No pushing.  No expectations.  Actually I told myself if I could do anything between or around a 2:20 and maybe even a 2:30 I’d be happy.  I mean for my 2^nd half of the day.  But I started running and low and behold comfortable for me was once again around 9:20 minute miles.  How is that possible I thought? How is that even possible?  But I ran on.  In fact all the way until about mile 3.5 it was nice and lovely and I was running around a 9:25 pace.  And then, oh and then. 

And then there was an intersection and a GIANT crazy hill.  And then I realized that they expected us to cross two sides of traffic on a crazy busy street.  We had to wait for stoplights.  It was a nightmare. It was not really maned.  And traffic was CRAZY zooming by. I thought this was such a fucking joke.  Runners piled up around me.  And we were looking at each other like seriously? I waited minutes. No joke.  I was pissed. Finally we ran, and of course traffic yelled at us.  It was awful.  I could have lived with the hill but the traffic was crazy.  So up the hill I walked. Yup, walked for sure.  Once at the top of the hill I ran.  And picked back up at the 9:20-ish pace.  Although at this point my overall pace was fucked.  But I ran on.  On what turned out to be a horrific awful course in my opinion.  It was an actual path but it was also a slightly shaded forestry path and therefore there were homeless people everywhere. It was hot out.  And not enough water stations by a landslide.  At points the place smelled so horrible, like pee and poop. And to top it all off we kept having to cross busy intersections.  And wait at stoplights.  I had to literally stop for minutes.  What a shitty race I thought.  But I ran on.  And kept surprising myself with the distance I was traveling while still running at a solid pace.  I kept waiting for the fatigue or the tired or the pain to kick in.  Still good I thought.

It was an out and back race which meant I knew I had to turn around and do it all over again.  Lovely.  Somewhere close to the halfway turn around I saw Chris coming back the other way.  I wasn’t too far off.  I turned and hit the halfway and thought this is already blowing away my expectations.  I kept making mental notes of anything that hurt at all because I didn’t want to hurt.  Still got nothing.  So I ran on.  Even miles 7 and 8 felt good.  All the way until mile 9 when I was back at a hill. Fuckers.  I walked up it again and then sprinted beyond that.  Mile 9 was fine. Still waiting for pain.  Still not getting any.  And then I crossed mile 10.  I was okay.  And then 10.5 came and I hit a wall.  A oh boy I am tired kind of wall.  I knew there was 2.5 miles to go and I was like you can do this.  I ran thru to mile 11 and then I knew I was really fatigued.  Nothing hurt still but I was like, 2 miles Emily.  2 miles until the finish.  I kept doing my math which told me this was like mile 24 I have ran today and it’s okay that I am tired.  I am most thankful that nothing actually hurts.  And holy shit my pace wasn’t awful at all.  Considering the hills and the stops for traffic signs and such and oh yeah, this really being my 24^th mile ran for the day.  So I was trying to mentally will myself on.

Around mile 12 I ran into Chris. He was walking/running.  I caught him and stopped my body.  So tired.  He said he was tired but nothing hurt.  I was proud of us.  I said, we can do this. We can finish this. Yes, I’m tired.  And for the last mile we just did a run/walk combo.  Run a little, walk a little I had no shame in that at all.  And we came barreling thru the finish line at officially 2:09:16.  And I freaking shook my head. Are you fucking kidding me?  I say that because this my friends BEATS my PR from last year.  In fact, this would be my 4^th fastest half marathon of them all.  Like I ran my fastest half to day in the morning and then my 4^th fastest in the evening.  And this includes what my Garmin watch told me was close to 3 minutes of not moving time (i.e., waiting at stoplights).  Holy shit!  Proud doesn’t even do it justice.

And tired doesn’t even do it justice.  So tired. So hungry.  I literally scarfed the food they had. Potato salad and burgers and somehow in all of its awfulness it was the best thing I’ve ever eaten.  Proud doesn’t even do this day justice.  I did it! I freaking did it!  I ran 2 half marathons and not only did I run them, I ran them well and fast and I felt great! Yes, I got pretty tired at the end of the second one but can’t move kind of tired.  I know a full marathon is a different story for sure, but come on. This well, this effort just blew me away!

So needless to say, I was one proud chick.  Blew away my own expectations by a landslide. And nothing hurt. I felt amazingly great.  I felt tired and drained but physically fine.  So we drove home and by the time I got home I did feel some post run tummy upset.  That happens.  I had put my body thru a lot and I wanted to throw up.  It happens.  But I went to bed and slept pretty decent.

Yesterday I woke up kind of with tired legs but not crazy sore so to speak.  But I told myself that it was best to take a rest day yesterday after having run 26.2 miles you see.  So that is how it went down.  We took the dogs to the dog park.  We did grocery shopping, Chris got some new shorts for Maui.  Domestics.  But I was nonstop hungry all day.  Like insanely hungry.  I did a pretty good job of eating on Saturday, maybe because I didn’t want to get sick.  But yesterday, it was like get the fuck out of the way, I need to EAT.  I ate and ate and ate.  Fortunately it was pretty much all “healthy” foods.  My house doesn’t have a ton of crap in it.  I ate peanut butter, right out of the jar.  Too many Quest bars.  Greek yogurts with sprinkles, nuts.  Well you get the idea. Just too much.  But at least it wasn’t awful quality overall.  Could have been worse. I didn’t track my calories really.  Which probably throws me the most into the mental tailspin.  And I do feel guilty about eating so much but I also reasonably know that my body was trying to recover from 26.2 miles ran.  I know my body probably needed most of that food so I was trying to forgive myself.

And then I was tired so I slept for about an hour or two in the afternoon.  This does tend to leave me feeling groggy afterwards.  It was a boring slow day.  Watched lots of HGTV.  We finally got up and gave the dogs another walk and then I finally meal prepped my chicken for the week and we made dinner. I ate it all.  Of course.  But it was like pork and potatoes and corn on the cob and grilled onions.  So not bad at all.  Here are the pictures from yesterday and a few from the day before because I am far too lazy to commentary on each of them.

Today I woke up tired. I didn’t want to get up at all.  But I did.  And then well, you know. Guilt. Guilt about the eating. Sigh.  But I will try and get over it.  I am mostly certain I needed it all.  My legs feel like they would after a leg day.  They feel worked but not injured.  They feel tight but I honestly think a run will help them.  Tonight I need to run 3 miles and I think that is what I intend to do.  And then class at the gym.  I can do that.  Mostly I still feel crazy happy and high and accomplished about the grand feat I did on Saturday.  Can you believe I actually really truly ran 26.2 miles. Yup, me.   Ran pretty much the whole damned way for 26 miles.  Insanity.  Complete proof this marathon training is working.

Oh and one more thing of note Friday night I came home and got this dress in the mail from China.  I bought if off eBay. Total crap quality but so pretty and cheap. Like $15 shipped or something like that.  But boy it’s pretty and I felt so amazing in it.  I never wear clothes this tight or fitted but holy shit, it was just beautiful.  And I felt like such a pretty girl. 

So there you have it.  Back to real life for me today.