Pink Take Two

Holy hell yes, it is Friday. And not just any Friday my friends, but the Friday of the weekend of my Pink concert. Yup, the excitement is starting to kick in. There was a mild scare a couple days ago when Pink had to cancel two of her shows this week due to her doctor giving her 4 days of vocal rest. 4 days means Sunday she can sing? I am guessing so because Seattle was not cancelled and therefore should be her first show back with a fresh set of vocal pipes. I imagine its big business to have to cancel a show and only done with really necessary. For the record, she just postponed the shows, not a total cancel. But what a pain in the ass especially for someone like me travelling a bit for the show. Yes, I’m just driving so it wouldn’t be the end of the world like Vegas would have been but still a pain nonetheless. So for right now we are on and I am praying it stays that way.

So yes, I just have to get thru work today and then it’s a 3 day weekend for me. Tonight is also my night off from exercise. My body really needs it. 6 days in a row and its ready for a break, plus last night was a killer good class that left me exhausted and feeling like it was more than time for a break. I will get my nails done tonight, much needed as well, and then it’s back up at it tomorrow morning. 9 AM Turbo kick at the gym, to be followed by an hour of strength training. After that I have a Costco run planned and then I’m going to my sister’s house to help her decorate a little bit. I will wake up Sunday morning pretty early and start the 4 hour trek to Seattle, check into my hotel and then await the epic-ness that will be the front pit at Pink.

Remember back when I bought these tickets. Yes, it is documented here, I paid a fortune, well for me at least, for a concert, but after seeing her in Vegas I swore that I was going to be in the front next time and has become typical of me lately have decided to start living my life the way it should be lived and following thru with the things I really want. So yes, this girl is going to be in the front pit to see my beloved Pink. I remember back to February when I saw her in Vegas and what a big deal it was for me. We all know the back story and that seeing Pink was one of the big catalysts that first got me to lose weight again. I have so much to thank Pink for it isn’t even funny. No, I did all the work obviously, but her continual inspiration and influence in my life is always felt. I learned to be part of the woman I wanted to be from her. I know that sound so cheesy and lame but her strong attitude really inspires me. Always has.

I went to that Pink concert in Vegas in February having lost 50 pounds which was epic unto itself and I felt great. Of course I was still 169 pounds actually. But that didn’t stop me, I felt really good and happy and so thankful. I took pictures the day I left for Vegas and posted them here. Below is a picture from that day, February 13, 2013. And then I am attaching a new photo that I just took today of me. This is how far I’ve come since that time. I have lost approximately 35 more pounds but more importantly is everything I have gained. Look at those arm muscles… I am in love with my arms these days. I have worked very hard for all the definition in my upper body. As a runner that is something that I have never had previously.

Anyway, here are the photos…



Cell phone photos are never really the best huh. But at least it’s something. I’m very grateful I have any photos to compare to. I always wish that I would take more photos along the journey to compare because it’s hard to find them and it’s a great judge of how far you’ve come.

I have to say that in the past week I have noticed some strong ab muscles finally start to come in. It’s going to take a long time if ever for anything to really be all that visible but it does feel much harder than it once was. It is small and slow progress from here on out, but its progress. It’s hard to not feel great about the progress in the above photos. I think I looked fine at 169 pounds. I was happy. I was very happy and I looked fine. But that girl in the photo from today, she is strong. She is an athlete. Pretty much no way someone could look at her and not think she worked out or was physically fit. I’m far from perfect as we all know but I am strong.

Last night in class a girl I didn’t know who is beautiful and small came up to me and told me, “I don’t know you, but I’ve seen you here and just have to say your arms are amazing. Your shoulders. You look great!” It was an excellent complement. I have worked very hard the past 4 months on developing my upper body strength and I love that it is finally showing. But underneath it all, you all know what my heart is like. You know that I will always be the girl that struggles and is a fat kid at heart.

Sometimes at the gym I get this urge to tell people that everything you see before you is great but I come from such different more humble weight loss origins. Lately there is a wonderful overweight girl who has been talking classes. I think she is amazing and I respect her immensely. I would NEVER, did not, take classes and put myself out there when I was overweight. For god’s sake I was like 145 pounds before I joined a gym and even then it took a while for me to adjust mentally to the idea that I belonged there. This girl is probably 200 pounds and she takes the classes and I am inspired by her and her obvious desire to change. I hate to ever be presumptuous or condescending so I never say anything but someday I hope it somehow comes up and I can share that I was once 220 pounds. Not that I want to presume that I would be any sort of inspiration but sometimes you see these people at the gym who do the classes and seem so active and fit and you get discouraged because you are like, they have no idea what it’s like to be me, to be in my shoes, to be overweight. And I just want to scream, I do. I promise you, I do know what it’s like. Time and time again, I’ve lived this. Of course this whole conversation is going on in my head and I have no idea if that really is what anyone else is thinking. Maybe it’s just me who thinks that.

So this girl I am today, getting ready to see Pink this weekend is pretty much the woman I have always desired to become. This is what I had envisioned in my head my whole life in terms of a strong physically fit woman who goes to rock concerts and enjoys her life. I feel no shame or embarrassment from my body. I have worked hard for everything I have got. That is all HARD work and continued effort. Nothing in this life was handed to me in terms of my health and fitness. I had to make it all happen for myself. That is honestly what makes it all the more rewarding. Genetics have been against me from day 1. Obesity is not only a national epidemic but something that is ridiculously prevalent and rampant in my immediate family, both sides of my family have out of control obesity. I have had to fight hard to counter act it. I mean, my Grandpa and Grandpa on my dad’s side were LARGE. For heaven’s sake when my dad died he had to be cut out of our house he was so big. My mom’s family isn’t much better. My grandma is a large woman there as well. Genetics were just not kind to me. But that is all the more proof that we can fight and succeed if we truly have the desire in our hearts. Genetics are part of the story, but certainly not the entire story.

What is inside of you is far more important and superior to anything else the universe can throw at you. Yes, you were dealt a certain hand of cards, but it is what is inside that determines how you play them. I am strong, I am physically fit and I am in love with my life. That is completely because of what lives inside of me. That is my inner champion and warrior. That is because I have a strong enough belief in myself that I am capable of anything I put my mind to.

So once more in 2013, before it comes to a close, I get to demonstrate to myself how epic and life altering this year has been for me. I get to see Pink one more time, 8 months after first seeing her, and this time I walk in as a different woman all together. The confidence I have in my abilities and the belief I have that this time is it for me is so epic and profound. So much so that it is just a quiet contentment. Pretty much the quite contentment I have felt this entire journey. I know I have this. I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt that this is my entire life, for the rest of my life. I love feeling this way. I love believing in myself. I love loving myself. I wish I could give this feeing to everyone in the world. So that every single woman, big or small, happy or sad, could feel true genuine contentment and love for themselves. It is amazing and something that while taking 34 years to finally realize, was well worth the wait.

What started as a simple little wish to see Pink, spawned a complete and utter transformation of my soul. Who knew? The best possible way I can think of to thank her and commemorate this epic year is to go that concert Sunday night, smile, laugh, cry (yes, I will cry again I’m certain) and celebrate this last year of my life. I can think of no better way to celebrate my one year transformation than being front pit at my Pink concert. This is the way life was supposed to be lived. And I am so thankful I am finally living.