I ate the cupcake

So you know how the other day I mentioned my intense dream about eating a moist cupcake? Yeah, well the truth is, I’ve been thinking about cupcakes for a solid couple weeks now. Actually even more of a truth is after I ran my ½ marathon I desperately wanted a cupcake. After we had lunch with the fabulous Paige we headed home, but stopped at the mall first to get a couple things and I was like, dang-it, I just want a cupcake. We walked around an entire mall and could not find a place to sell me a delicious cupcake. I got a Jamba juice instead. Pretty much not the same thing at all.

I didn’t think much of it, but clearly, I’ve wanted cupcake for some time now. You see, I don’t crave chocolate, I don’t crave candy. But my one big weakness is cupcakes. I like moist vanilla type cakes. There is also a place in down town Salem called Twinsies Cupcakes that makes the most amazing moist perfect cupcakes. Yeah, you can tell I HAVE eaten them before. This is really the cupcake I have been craving, not the cheap ass grocery store variety.

After my intense dream the other night I knew it was time to eat one. I was going to wait until this weekend but then something came over me as I was running errands around town today and I found myself pulling into the cupcake place. I just couldn’t hold out any more. So for no good reason at all, other than, I haven’t been able to get it off my mind for weeks, I ate a cupcake today. And not a small mini one, oh no, it was a giant, probably 1000 calorie cupcake and I couldn’t care less. Do you know what is worse than consuming 1,000 calories in cupcake? Thinking about eating a cupcake all the time for weeks. Yup, that is worse than actually eating the dang thing, enjoying every single bite of it, and moving on. MUCH better in the long run.

And let me tell you, it was amazing. It was absolutely worth every calorie and lived up to every feeling I was hoping for in that dream. I’m glad I held out for this particular delicious cupcake. In all fairness, I ordered two of them. They are $3.50 each, so you know, not cheap, but I couldn’t decide so I got Nerds and a pumpkin one. I had a bite of both to determine which one was hitting the spot and the Nerds one out hands down. So in the course of a couple minutes I mowed down that cupcake like a fat kid in a candy store. Scratch that- like a fat kid in a cupcake store :) And it felt great. Really it did. No lie. It was exactly what my body had been craving. And almost immediately after it was consumed I felt a sense of relief wash over me. Cupcake craving over. Done. I felt good. I did not feel the need to eat the other cupcake. I did not feel hungry. I did not feel guilty. I felt like this was one of the best decisions I made today because I could finally quit fantasizing about the cupcake and move on. And it was such a great cupcake that makes it even better.

This is how you live life. No deprivation. No guilt. I ate a cupcake on a Thursday just because and I don’t hate myself. I am proud of myself in a weird kind of way. Proud because I know in the long run this was the best decision for my future health as well. I could stew over the cupcake for weeks longer and sit around at night wishing for a cupcake or else I could eat it, kill the craving and be satisfied at night because I no longer have that intense urge.

For the record, I am not sure when the last time I ate one of these cupcakes was. Wait, it was the end of May. For my birthday. So its been 4 months. It’s not like I overly indulge in cupcakes. I think 1 every couple months is obviously an acceptable rate to eat a cupcake in and obviously about how long my body can go without an intense craving for one. So there you have it. Cupcake for lunch and not an ounce of guilt. Perfect.

And just because I’m a torturous bitch, here’s the photo of them. The nerds one I ate is obviously the purple one and it was REALLY good.