Well the standard 48 hour sore rule is in full effect today.
Typically speaking I experience my highest volume of soreness two days after
working out. Today my legs hurt. Still not insane, insane but enough that I am
uttering the words ouch and eek a lot. It is noticeable. And now, thanks to
last night, my upper body is joining in on the sore fun. Of course following this 48 hour rule means
tomorrow is when that might be the most on fire.
I really didn’t want to make my legs sore. That wasn’t my
goal. But I rationally also know I can’t go the entire next 4 months without
doing any leg strength training so therefore I will have to occasionally endure
the pain and run thru it. It’s actually
a catch 22, because to become a better runner I need to build strength in my
legs. Lifting actually does make me a
better runner after I am not so sore. It’s
nice to know that even when I take a hiatus from lifting so much that I still
have what it takes to make myself sore.
Tuesday night really was an epic night at the gym for me. So
much so that yesterday all day I was excessively hungry. I ate far more than I normally do during the
day but it was out of total hunger. And exhaustion and soreness. I wasn’t too excited honestly to go to the
gym last night. I kept trying to talk myself into it, and then I’d talk myself
out of it. Last evening the struggle was so particularly real that I was the
closest I’ve ever come to quitting. But
I am not a quitter.
I drove myself to the gym. I was in my workout clothes. I pulled into the gym parking lot and I
literally was having an argument inside my head as I let the car run in the
parking lot. Like I couldn’t even turn
the car off because I was still trying to continence myself that I could just
pull right back out and go home. I
probably sat there with this internal dialogue for 3-5 minutes. Time seems to
drone on excessively in these types of situations.
“But
you don’t have to. You are tired and you worked so very hard the last two
nights. It would be okay and you’d be nice to your body if you just gave it a
rest day.”
“You
are already here Emily, just go in and warm up and do a slow 1.5 mile run and
then take it from there. You don’t have to do your entire workout list.”
“But
you should listen to your body. It’s telling you to rest. So you should rest.”
“Stop
it. You’ve already ate excessively today and if you go home now you will just continue
to eat more. Stop the maddens now and go in there and do something. This moment
right here, right now, is what makes you the champion you are. This is what
defines your character. This is the difference between people who are
successful and those who fail. Do it.”
There was honestly not a single good reason for me to not go
in there. Yes, I was tired sure but I wasn’t THAT tired. It’s not like I was
going on night 6 of working out. It was only
the 3rd night and I could manage.
Yes, I had great workouts Monday and Tuesday where I obviously killed my
legs in addition to running 11.5 miles in those 2 days. But still none of this
is too out of whack for me. I was just
being lazy. And as soon as I told myself
it would be my victory to go into the gym I turned the car off. I grabbed my
keys, my water bottle and my earphones and headed inside. Victory.
I immediately went to the bathroom where the same
conversation played out in my head. I
don’t want to be here, I want to go home. I’m so tired. Shut up stupid voices.
You just walked into the gym, you aren’t turning around and walking out. Up to the treadmill I went for a slow warm up
run.
I didn’t want to put any pressure on myself so I immediately
just started the thing at 5.5 miles per hour. And I did this for a minute
before I went, this is stupid, this is too slow for me. So I went to 5.8 miles
per hour which is my normal I can maintain this speed for a long time kind of
run. I wasn’t trying to kill it. I wasn’t even trying to run last night. In fact my training plan called for a rest
day but the only way I really know how to effectively warm my body up is with a
little jog. So I was just going to jog for like 15 minutes or 1.5 miles.
But after a few minutes I felt pretty comfortable and decided
to just do 2 miles. So a little over 20
minutes I did 2 miles and then ended it. Headed down to try and tackle my
preplanned out upper body workout.
The thing is, last night called for adaptation. The cable machines were all in use so I had
to just go over to a bench and free weights and tackle those particular exercises
first. I kept telling myself that if I
just put in an hour at the gym, no matter where I was on the list that would be
fine. I get to play little tricks with my brain to keep me going. Even if I secretly know they are lies. You tell yourself whatever you need to tell
yourself to keep going. This has always
been my motto.
You see, working out on almost every level is mostly
mental. Yes, there is a physical
component. Your body gets tired and has a break point but more than anything it
is about being mentally tough to push thru your self-imposed limits. I have thought about this component a lot
lately. This is the difference between
Chris & I. I am mentally tough. I set my goals and even when I don’t want to,
I am mentally strong enough to just make it happen.
This is so particularly true in running. I know sometimes I make it sound easy to run
a half marathon but it is not. There is
nothing easy about running for over 2 hours without stopping. It requires a constant inner dialogue where I
have to talk myself into continuing to take each step and not walk. Yes parts of it are “easy” and blissful and
the best case scenario is I get to lose myself in my thoughts. But it all comes
back to being mentally tough enough to finish what I start.
This is where lists come into play. I pretty much solidly know that if I make a
list I will finish what I start. While I
had to modify last night and adapt, ultimately I finished every single exercise
on that list. In a different order than
planned but I still finished them all.
Sure I was tired and ready to be done and only didn’t do 2 of the
exercises on the list but all be damned I wouldn’t have felt right unless I
walked over to those machines and finished those last 2 ones. I had to be able to say I completed this
list. It’s just the person I am. Finish what you start.
Last night did not result in a high calorie burn. Straight up strength training doesn’t. But it is necessary and ultimately beneficial
for a ton of other reasons. So yes, at
the end of the day I only burned 400 something calories (and 150-200 of those
were from my 2 mile run). But I did a
complete upper body workout that I actually feel this morning and that is what
is important. More important is the
reality that I did it to begin with.
Pushing your mental limits is as important as your physical limits. Marathons are all run with heart and your
head anyway. It’s important sometimes to
keep stretching your minds ability.
So I did it. I am proud of myself. Upper body sore to match
lower body sore. In the last 3 days I’ve ran 13.5 miles. Tonight I am supposed to run 3 miles on my
training plan. To be perfectly honest it’s easier than trying to do anything
else. I will run my 3 miles. I will do something else. I am not exactly sure
what, but I will do something. And then I rest on Friday. That will be a needed
rest day. Saturday I run 3.1 miles. Then
it’s my 4 year wedding anniversary. We
are going to go see a movie, Aloha, because hello its Hawaiian and it looks
like my kind of thing. And then Sunday
morning it’s a half marathon for this girl.
So if everything goes exactly according to plan, as it should, that
means this week will result in almost 33 miles ran. Not too shabby. Plus a killer leg and upper
body workout. I’d say a VERY successful
week.
Now the goal for the weekend would be to not crazy over
binge but we will see. I really think its these weekends that are clearly
holding me back from actual weight loss.
Not that weight loss is truly the goal. I am not certain that it is. It’s
always in the back of my mind but it’s not the most important thing
clearly. I mean, my weight is ever so
slightly, and I do mean slightly going down.
Case in point 2 weeks ago I was 151.2, last week I was 151.1
today I was 150.9. So yup, in 2 weeks I’ve
lost 3 tenths of a pound. I mean I guess it’s better than gaining 3 tenths of a
pound. Clearly my body is incredibly comfortable with all levels of everything
I am doing. Food/weekend binges/exercise/running. Realistically maintaining
around 150 pounds is a great place to live. I accept it. I mean, I am a strong fit girl. Never going
to be a toothpick skinny thing. Not my body type. Just a crazy real girl here. Curves and all.
Mostly excited for tomorrow, rest day and then all the fun
that is to be had this weekend. This is why I do all the things I do. To get to
the weekends and have these epic experiences.
I am never happier or more satisfied than after I’ve ran a half
marathon. Jonzing for my fix this weekend.
Oh, and the sun is shining today, out and bright and that clearly makes
me a happy girl. Yeah.
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