Wednesday, June 17, 2015

Happy with a splice of color



 I feel just really happy today. You know that good happy kind of feeling that just is from the inside out.  Some days I just have that. Some days it’s nowhere to be seen but today is a good day and I will take it.  Things in my life are going well. Just mostly plugging along but that is well enough all things considered. About time honestly. The past couple weeks I felt a little all over the place. The past couple days have been very good. MUCH better.

This is me today, and I am HAPPY!!!


 

Let me see. Last night I decided about 4:30 PM that I just was going to go home and run outside. I stepped outside and while it was hot it wasn’t miserable and I figured the areas I wanted to run had some shade coverage so thus it would be the right decision.  My decision boiled down to this. If I went to the gym I wouldn’t get there until about 5:15 or so.  I’d have to do class at 5:30 so I wouldn’t get to run beforehand.  I’d do the ½ hour class and it would be fine but it wouldn’t be a run. You know.  And then It’d be 6 PM before I’d be free to run but of course I’d probably end up talking to Amanda and that would make it later and honestly by this time I would have zero desire to run 4.5 miles.  At 4:30 I felt ready to run, by 6 something I am sure the desire would have gone away. 

I just made the executive decision that last night was a run night.  Coupled with the reality that most of my body was sore from weights and strength training that taking a night off seemed like the most appropriate thing to do.  So I went home, loaded up my run belt, my Garmin my earphones and away I went.  Like I said, I was sore.  I was hot. It was hot out and I wasn’t sure I really wanted to do this. But by this point I was home and I told myself if I didn’t do this I wouldn’t exercise at all and that would suck so I simply had to do this. That as soon as I was done with this run I’d be done for the night and all things would be fine.  I gave myself permission to ignore my Garmin watch and instead just run whatever pace I could to just run.  To try and not worry about times or paces or distances. Just run. 

I have to admit that it is much harder to get in solid runs during the week as comparative to weekend races.  The excitement is just so much greater at an event which is certainly why I am mostly addicted to them.  There is no incentive to run hard for a little neighborhood evening run.  Other than I am trying to tick off all my boxes on my running plan.  Which is very important to me.  So I run. I was expecting to go pretty slow.  And while I was not winning any pace records I was keeping my pace around 10:15-10:20 minute miles naturally just doing what felt right.  I thought this was awesome for me, given that it was hot out, in the evening when I just didn’t want to, and overall my body was exhausted.  This was day 4 in a row of exercise and I had a sore ass and legs.  But I ran on.

The neighborhood was lovely and I just tried to enjoy myself as much as I possibly could.  I don’t run with a route in mind. I just go and twist and turn at my will.  It’s one neighborhood with lots of outlets and lots of areas and its close to my house so I am never that far off from anything.  So I just run and run and when I am close to wanting to finish I start to head home. Of course this typically means that I end up not exactly at the mileage I want to be at.  I was supposed to run a 4.5 mile run yesterday. When I hit about 3.75 miles I decided it was time to turn around and head back towards the house. Of course there are a lot of dead end streets and I ended up having to pretty much run out and back farther than I had planned. I hit 4.5 miles on the Garmin and I was still not by the house. Guess it’s going to be a little longer run tonight. I really didn’t have a choice I was not home so I had to keep going.  But I was close.  I pretty much knew that I was going to be right around 5 miles and as I turned the corner to my house there it was, 5 miles on the Garmin.  My time was like 52 minutes.  I was fine with that.  Especially because of the natural slowing for busy streets and people and such.  52 minutes was better than I thought I was going to do when I started.

I burned 540 calories and called it good.  I did not need to do anything else for the night.  I was nursing sore well everything.  So that was just dandy.  Tonight does not call for a run on my training plan and I am kind of relieved by that.  Of course that doesn’t mean that I won’t get in a little bit of mileage as a warm up at the gym.  Tonight I intend to take an hour strength training class with Amanda.  It is at 6:15 so that means when I get to the gym I will have about 30 minutes to kill beforehand. Don’t think I want to run the whole 30 minutes but maybe 15 and then do some other stuff.  I have to run another 4.5 tomorrow so I will just make it all work.

As I am going on day after day of exercise I can start to feel my body fade a bit.  I know it’s time to slow it down a smidge but we will see.  I still have 2 days to go.  Friday is rest day before I tackle an obstacle course race on Saturday and a half on Sunday.  Regardless, I am sure I will power thru because that is honestly just what I do.

I’ve been having a lot of fun with clip in colored hair extensions. I just have pink and red but I really like them. I feel like they do add some pizazz to my hair.  And speaking of hair I should really say how freaking much I love my hair extensions again.  I honestly can’t believe I went that long without them. They just make me happy.  I feel like such a different, more confident, happier person when them in. It’s like a total attitude/game changer for me.  I feel sexy and that isn’t a bad thing. 

Pink Hair yesterday, Red Hair today.



I also woke up today feeling much trimmer than normal. Like I feel like I am slimming out, even though the scale doesn’t always cooperate and there is no measurable proof of this.  I just “feel” like things are smaller or tighter.  Of course it’s just as likely this is all in my head as well.

I’m beyond excited for life once again just in general as a whole and accomplishing my dreams.  I’m excited to be tackling the marathon in 3 months and honestly having this vacation going in 3 months is all kinds of crazy motivating. 3 months is really real and obtainable right now and that is so exciting.  Makes me want to push myself even more.   It’s actually a lot to comprehend that I have maintained my weight for this long.  The last time I went to Maui which was the end of May/beginning of June 2013 was kind of my celebration of reaching my goal weight again.  I went to Maui happy, healthy and comfortable in my own skin.  At that point in time I just barely joined the gym but had not done any strength training yet.  I hadn’t had a personal training session. I hadn’t met Amanda. It’s crazy to think about honestly.  But I looked good. I weighed in the 140’s. I don’t know what I weighed probably like 145 or something but that is without muscle really. 

And now, it will be 2 years 3 months later and I am still in the same weight range but with a lot more pretty muscles.  But holy hell I went the whole time frame in between Maui trips without gaining back all the weight. That’s a big deal for me.  Proof that anything is possible really, that anything can happen.  I promise you when I went to Maui last time I had no idea that I’d be back to run a marathon.  I would have laughed my ass off at you.  Even though I liked to run, I did not think that would ever happen.  So never say never.

Also, I’m pretty excited to wear a hot bikini on the beach. It’s kind of secretly always a dream of mine to feel confident enough to wear one in public. Sure, I’ve worn bikini’s in Maui before but I’m not sure I’ve ever felt as good about my body as I do right now. It’s flawed in lots of ways but its strong and I’m happy with it.

 Things are definitely progressing along the right track for me.  That is until something throws a wrench into the plans which ultimately always happens because that is life. I am well aware of this. So just for today I will take the happy feeling and smile as long as possible.

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