I have a dream

I have a dream.  Yes as in the Martin Luther King speech but not really because mine is entirely body and image based today.  This is my personal I have a dream kind of speech.  I  have a dream where I love myself and my body flaws and all, scars and all, cellulite and all, fat and all, saggy boobs and all.  I have a dream where I feel blessed for the strengths of physique and what it can carry me thru.  I have a dream for what it can and will accomplish in approximately 3 months time.   I have a dream so big and loud that I am willing to fight day in and day out to obtain it, even when it doesn’t seem like a fun idea.

I have a dream of pushing thru, never quitting and defying my own personal odds and crossing the finish line of a full marathon. 26.2 miles worth of a dream.  I have a dream that I respect myself enough to forgive myself for all of my daily imperfections.  I have a dream, a dream so clear that I see of myself sitting on the beach in Maui say on September 21 or 22, rocking a bikini, feeling happy, confident and beyond amazing proud because I ran my marathon. 

This dream of mine has kept me going for the last 4 months. Seriously.  I decided to run my marathon on Feb. 13.  I have not wavered from my dream once in the past 4 months and even when it seemed damned near impossible, I mentally decided that their simply was not going to be anything to stop me from achieving my dream.  As the days tick away and my little Maui countdown is now less than 3 digits away.  (presently we are tracking at 96 days until the day) I am becoming more and more grateful for my unwavering commitment and ready for it to occur at the same time.

When I hit 3 months until I board the plane to Maui, in a couple days’ time, I enter into a new wave in my training, a new wave in my mental preparation. A new wave in that this is it, go time.  That every decision I will make for the next 3 months directly affects the outcome of the big day.  It’s go time, crunch time, whatever you want to call it.  3 months is enough time to see change but not enough time that I have any extra time to slack.  Each run matters. Each morsel of food I put in my mouth matters.  Each step getting me closer to my ultimate goal.  What was once a future abstract goal is quickly coming into clear and present focus.

I have every desire and expectation to go to Maui this time around with my best mental and physical package.  Loving myself in a way that I wasn’t even capable of the last time I went over 2 years ago now.  This body has endured a lot in the time between Maui vacations. This body was been pushed in a way I never knew it capable of.  I am a warrior.  I am a fighter. I am a bonified champion for even attempting what I am.  Because I love myself and my goals enough to go for it.

So here it is my 3 months out bikini photo.  I am going to try and take a monthly check in photo for the next 3 months.  Let these be my guides more than the scale. I have this vision of what I want to look like in Maui.  It’s not far off from this photo.  I realistically don’t know how much I can actually accomplish in the next 3 months anyway, but it’s still worth fighting for.

Here’s to Maui 2015 being the single best vacation of my life. The most monumental epic one at that.  3 months and counting. Let’s bring it.