Rockstar, 100!

Well hello Thursday, we meet again. Today I did weigh myself. Today I lost .4 pounds which means I am exactly 141 today. This is rather insignificant to me. The current weight that is. For the first time in months or probably years if I’m being honest the weight on the scale didn’t really matter to me. What I mean is this. I was not expecting anything at all since I worked VERY hard this week. I know in the grand scheme of things I worked way to hard this week to see any real results on the scale. But I no longer want results on the scale. My mentality has totally shifted which is why I don’t really care about that silly number.

Weight loss is important as it is one of the only real trackable measurable means of success we have when we are attempting weight loss on our own. Yes, the more important judge is truly the mirror and how you feel and the fit of your clothes but as far as an actual measurable item the scale pretty much sums it up. But once you hit a certain point. (And I have very much hit that point now), the scale starts to get iffy as a real trackable tool.

Case in point. I weigh 141 pounds this morning. I put on a pair of size 4 Old Navy Rockstar skinny jeans and they are a perfect sliming fit. I have never, like EVER, worn a pair of size 4 anything. That wasn’t even in my realm of possibility at any point in my life. And here’s the thing. In the last couple weeks, like two or three tops but more like week or two I just “feel” so strong and toned and holy shit my legs, like all of them feel muscle.

In the last week I’ve had more people tell me that I look amazing and that every time they see me I look smaller and smaller. Just in the last week. And you know what, I feel that much smaller. But more importantly I feel so fucking healthy it’s crazy. Going to the gym this past week has done a mind shift for me completely.

Actually this last week instead of focusing any attention or energy on weight-loss and instead shifting my focus to get strong and healthy I have seen a total difference in so many parts of my life. Let me recap this last week for you. Thursday night I ran at home an hour. Took Friday off. Saturday I went to the gym where we spent 2 hours of doing stuff. Sunday I went to the gym again where another 2 ½ hours were spent doing stuff. Monday night I ran at home for an hour. Tuesday night was another 1 ½ at the gym. I did take off last night. 3 of my 5 workouts this week were at the gym where I did do different stuff than I normally do. Yes, I still ran for sure, but there was some other stuff as well. So yes Virginia, I am starting to see the light. Also, based on this information I did so much exercise this week I wasn’t expecting any weight loss, plus, let’s be honest as I get smaller it really does get harder to drop weight. Did I mention I’m wearing a pair of size 4 jeans. Ha.

I’ve never really been one who gets too caught up in sizes or gloating or anything like that. This is the honest to God truth. I love being healthy and strong. I want to be perceived as fit and strong. And I’ll be damned if I would honestly give everything I had if someone asked to help them achieve it for themselves. I completely believe in the concept of helping anyone else along on their own journey. I believe in this feeling so much that I want everyone I care about to have it to.

By no means is my body perfect or is there not tons of room for improvement. Oh boy, that is what phase 2 is about. Improvement. I don’t expect the scale to ever move too much from here on out. As I plan on kicking ass and building muscle which probably is going to keep me relatively close to the same weight on the scale. I guess what all this means is that I don’t particularly care what the scale says so much right now. Within reason. I don’t want the scale going up a bunch. But truly in my heart I know the best measure of my success is how I look in the mirror and feel about the girl I see. The best measure of my success is how my clothes are fitting.

I really want to bottle the feeling I have today so I can tap into it while I’m in Maui and of course when I return from Maui in case my desire and motivation are lacking. I am going to have to flag this post mentally so that I can re-read it when I return to remind myself of how good I feel right now. I think I should use the same mentality I used on my Vegas mini-vacation… I can indulge but not binge. That is a great way to look at it. I am certainly going to indulge. Mostly in fruity alcoholic beverages, and I can have food treats but just because I am in Hawaii is no reason to go all crazy and binge on shit that I normally wouldn’t eat. Plus the truth is, I don’t want to be sick and I am certain eating crap that I haven’t ate in months would make me sick. Moderation.

I need to trust myself and have faith that I will make good decisions or the best decisions I can. I need to have faith that I have worked very hard and I need to give myself more credit. Give myself and my body more credit I guess. I do have a lot of muscle already and those muscles are working at burning calories every day.

Tonight I am going to the gym where I will do a little warm up run. I might try to run faster than I normally do as I honestly know I won’t be doing it that long. I get off work at 5 and then have to drive to the gym which means I won’t be there until about 5:20 or so. Mom and I are going to do Zumba at 6 PM so that honestly only gives me like ½ an hour to work out beforehand. Chris works late tonight so I can do something AFTER Zumba I guess. But honestly I will probably be tired at that point. Right now I’m just testing the waters.

Tomorrow is Friday and I will probably just come home from work and run tomorrow night. I can plan on a nice long run tomorrow night after work. Then Saturday is Chris’s Birthday and he actually has the weekend off. However, I am going to go to the gym Saturday morning anyway. I am really eying doing a 10AM Total Body Boot Camp class. I’ve looked at it before or rather watched them and was intrigued. I think Saturday might be the day. I don’t know about Sunday yet and of course Monday is my birthday, Memorial Day and I honestly think the best gift I could give myself is my health and a killer workout. So Monday I am definitely going to work out. Since I have the day off anyway. And then you realize that is it. I’m like 8 days away from getting on a plane. Yes indeed. And don’t worry I plan on taking LOTS of pictures on vacation. I will post them on Facebook and try and post some here too. But mostly when I get back there will be lots of photos.

Oh and I have to say how fitting that today I am talking about feeling so happy and healthy and strong and not caring about the scale which I truly mean and guess what, this is my 100th post of the year. Are you freaking kidding me. I couldn’t even manage more than a few posts each year for the past couple years and now, and now… 2013 I’ve got 100 posts. This is how we know that my heart is exactly where it should be. I am KILLING it!!!

Oh, and by the way Old Navy Rockstar Skinny jeans are the best thing ever. So fucking comfortable. Can you believe in October 2012 just a week before I decided to make a change I bought 3 new pairs of them in a size 18. And 7 ½ months later, size 4. AMAZING!

Oh, and I’ve decided to venture into the world of twitter a little. I’ve toyed with the idea for a long time. Mainly because my bosses aren’t on twitter so they won’t know when I post shit, unlike Facebook, where I am friends with them and therefore they can see my activity if I spent my entire days posting away. Ha. Twitter is quite different but so far so good….

Anyway, happy 100 posts today.