My brain is seriously on whack this morning. I literally just typed out the words, it is
Monday. Um, excuse me, it’s
Thursday. This is probably evidence of
where my brain is at today. It is
actually Thursday and for that I am most grateful. Because Thursday is one step closer to the
weekend. And Thursday is the day before my rest day. And Thursday is weigh-in day. Which typically
isn’t that exciting but I am fairly happy these days with how things are going
so I will take it.
Last night was REALLY brutal at the gym. Like something that I had zero desire to
do. Like insanely hard. Mostly it was in my head but sometimes
talking your brain down or out of the crazy fog cloud is the real workout and
the thing you should be most proud of. It’s
not always rainbows and butterflies. It’s
compromise that moves us along. Thanks Adam Levine and Maroon 5 for those
lyrics I just stole.
Things might have gone differently if life were different.
What I mean by that is had I gotten to the gym at my normal time and began with
my 3 mile run things might have ended up perfectly fine. But at like 4:45 one of my bosses called me
and asked me for a favor. He wanted me
to pick up his wife and drop her off at the body shop where his truck was. IE they needed a ride. He was super nice
about it and said, if it doesn’t mess you up, etc., because we both knew this
task was going to take extra-long. I
said of course. Because realistically I didn’t have any real plans. And he
barely asks for favors and I like these people. Oh yeah, and I am so often late
for work or leave early so this was fine.
I picked her up and ultimately it did take me a long time. It didn’t bother me. But the car ride was
slightly awkward. We don’t have a ton in
common me and this woman. She’s nice, we get along. Just in very different worlds. Now my other
boss’s wife, I adore her. We are great, solid. We get along fabulously and I
would consider her a total friend. We
are on the same wave-length.
By the time I dropped her off and made my way to the gym it
was like 5:45. Class started at 6 PM. I
really wanted to run my 3 miles before class but obviously that wasn’t going to
happen. I got on there to sprint a mile
so that I was actually warmed up for class.
It was strength training class. 45 minutes of working different targeted
muscles. She changed the format up last
night and did my beloved Iron Power class. Basically it’s an entire song
dedicated to one muscle group. Burn it
out, fry it out. Muscle isolation. It is
the best! It is the bomb! It is happiness for me to do Iron Power. BUT that included lower body tracks and I
guess I didn’t realize how tired my legs actually are from going and going and
never stopping it seems. As far as my legs go, my life looks like this.
Saturday: Half marathon 13.1 mile run
Sunday: 3 hour uphill 7.15 mile hike
Monday: 3.5 mile run
Tuesday: 6.5 mile run, 1 mile run in evening
So then last night I ran the mile and then took the class
and squatted and lunged and worked all the major upper body muscle groups
too. And when class was over at like
6:45 PM all I really wanted to do was go home.
We were stretching afterwards and I seriously didn’t want to get up and
run. I almost wanted to cry I was so
tired. But I still had to run 2 more miles.
Yes, I know, I could have NOT. I really could have not. It wouldn’t have
killed me, it wouldn’t have messed up my marathon training plan. It wouldn’t have
mattered pretty much squat. But I just
couldn’t. Basically my calorie burn
sucked at that point and I was not satisfied. And you know, I needed to run 3
miles. And I hadn’t. So I just had to. I could have left it at the mile and run the
3 miles tonight, but honestly whatever amount of brutal last night felt like,
I knew tonight would be WAY worse. And on top of my crazy schedule for tonight I
didn’t want to add a 3 mile run. And
also, I wanted to give myself 2 days of not running to be fresh for my half on
Saturday. I have my little rituals you
know.
So mustering up every single ounce of will and determination
I possessed I dragged my ass to the treadmill.
It was slow, it was brutal, it was downright torturous. Aside from now being beyond tired, my legs
actually hurt. I had grossly
underestimated the amount of tired that lunging and squatting was doing to my
legs. Running felt like led weights on
my thighs honestly. And I had to slow it down. No, still too fast, slow it down
some more. 5.5, that is all the “speed” I could muster and even that made me
think about quitting. Even that felt too
much. But I pushed on.
I’m not going to lie there were many times during this 2 and
some mile run that I just wanted to quit.
I wanted to give up. I wanted to
say that everything I do is more than enough because in my heart I know it
is. My marathon training plan doesn’t
consider or take into account all the above and beyond training that I do. The extra miles and runs, the strength
training, the hikes, etc. I am
psychotically over training but not over training for my life, or level of
fitness that I regularly perform at. To
be honest if I ONLY did the marathon training plan I would be dialing back my
life in a profound way and that isn’t going to happen. So I make it all work together, but sometimes
it results in workouts like that night that were 1000% more mental than
anything else. The pace was shit. The run was awful. I hated every second of
it. But I endured and finished. And ultimately when all was said and done I
ran 3.5 miles in like 37 ½ minutes. That
first mile or rather 1.25 miles I sprinted at a much faster speed before my
legs fried out so it all balanced out to an overall pace of 10:26 minute miles
which isn’t bad. But slightly a
lie. I can live with it.
I can honestly say that there are few runs on my training
plan that I was happier to be done with or cross off the list. Also, I felt
proud and accomplished that despite not wanting to, I did what I said I was
going to do. And sometimes that really does count for the most. That somehow I am training my brain to
overcome and endure. I think perhaps
this is part of the lesson. This is part of what marathon training is really
all about. Not so much a stupid piddily
realistically unnecessary 3 mile run. It’s
about the mental fortitude you are gaining.
It’s part of the game plan to struggle. It’s overcoming the struggle
that makes you stronger. Yesterday was
part of the mental training for my marathon.
It’s the ability to not give up, and as a metaphor this is perhaps just
a tiny taste of what it might be like at say mile 20 or more to get me to that
finish line. I will endure. I will not quit. I will make it to the finish come
hell or high water. Last night was working on building those muscles. The muscles of the brain.
I finished up the evening burning about 550 calories which
for me is incredibly solid. On nights 5
or 6 of working out I will accept anything in the 400 range or more. But 400 is
perfectly fine at this point. I have
slightly set myself up for massive amounts of torture tonight though. I have no idea what I was thinking agreeing
to a personal training session this evening on day 6 of working out. That sounds like a terribly bad idea overall.
And yet, tonight that is what is occurring. Heaven help me!
I will take boot camp class at 5:30. This shall last until 6
PM. Amanda has another training client
at 6 PM. So I will be on my own from 6-6:30 and then at 6:30 is my chest/triceps
day. I am slightly terrified. My energy
levels are already drained, my muscles already sore and my upper body fried and
that girl does not go easy on me in the least.
Especially on chest. I foresaw my
fate earlier in the week when Amanda was doing her own chest workout and she
had the 45 pound bar loaded with 45 pound plates on each side, for a grand
total of 135 pounds. I’m slightly mentally freaking out. My body is mentally objecting right now even
thinking about it. I am certain that I
am going to load up on pre-workout and energy crap thru the roof to get me thru
this particular workout. It’s going to
be the only way. Jack myself up! I don’t do it all the time, honestly not that
often, but I know tonight calls for it.
But here’s the upside to all of this for me. This is my last
personal training session. That’s all
she wrote, all she paid for, all she will pay for. And then I’m done. I’m not complaining. Honestly, I love personal
training but it is truly akin to torture.
And right now with my very busy marathon training plan it is hard to fit
them in. I feel like maybe once winter
hits again I might consider paying for more sessions. But until after the summer I am fairly booked
up with running and such. It’s quite a
bit of work to try and fit the sessions in and not completely drain my
life. So tonight I finish up the last
one and I will feel good and accomplished about that. Happy really. And I am certain I will feel
great about my exercise workout week and that will be the icing on the
cake.
Then I freaking get a rest day tomorrow! Saturday is a half marathon but it is a night
one. 6 PM start time. This will be entirely different for me. I am not sure I am going to be able to run
that fast because my energy really is higher right in the morning. But you never know. Plus the heat. I’m anticipating just an average run but that’s
perfectly okay I guess. They can’t all
be awesome.
Oh, yeah, the scale.
As I mentioned earlier, I did actually weigh myself this week. Curiosity
got the best of me I suppose. I was
nervous because like I said on Saturday I pretty much downed an entire bag of Sun
chips by myself and cupcake and a maple bar and sausage and hot dog and
strawberry shortcake and on and on and on really. And even Sunday was less than perfect. But very much to my happiness, the scale read
144.8. Yup, under 145 now. This is quite exciting. Last week was 145.4,
so I lost .6 pounds. I am THIRLLED. I really was secretly hoping to just
maintain. I always somehow feel like the
scale is lying to me. I mean, that when
I see a number that somehow I have cheated to get to that number and therefore
the next time I get on it, it will really show me the number I am at, something
much higher. But as long as I guess I weigh myself weekly at the same time, and
the numbers are anywhere near close to one another it can’t be a lie. I felt like last week’s 145.4 was a total
lie. And yet this week it said 144.8.
Guess that means last’s weeks wasn’t a fluke. Of course now I feel like
my 144.8 is a lie J
Here is the deal. I
am incredibly totally happy. Yes, I am
presently in full on what I’d say beast mode.
I am putting in a lot of effort right now because of my clearly
identifiable goal. I am terrified that
once said goal has passed I won’t have the same motivation/desire to kill it
the way I have been, but I guess that’s another issue all together. I don’t anticipate that suddenly in the next
2 ½ months things are going to change to much in my life. I am going to keep doing what I’ve been doing
because I am happy/healthy and excited about where I am at. This means that realistically this trend of
going down on the scale ever so slightly will probably continue. It’s not really my motivation or driving
force at this point. But it’s a nice
side benefit. It would be cool to see
140 on the scale once again in my life. Again, not really my purpose or intent
but if it happens, that’d be cool. I’d accept that! Ha Ha.
And now for fun, here are the Instagram posts of yesterday
and this morning. I truly am having WAY
to much fun creating my little pictures. Totally my creative outlet that
apparently I have been missing. I love designing and this is reminding me how
much I like to make pretty things. To create.
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