Cool Beans Emily

So today be Wednesday and I’m all like, cool beans over here, feeling chill and relaxed and highly un-Emily like.  Okay, one does strive for cool beans and chill and relaxed from time to time but rarely is it so achievable.  I feel like I need to embrace this whole go with the flow attitude as much as possible because it does make for a better overall day.

I think in general I am trying to hit a cool beans vibe in my life.  I was way to stressed this last weekend about the health and exercise and I think that just made things worse. Scratch that- I know it made it worse. I get all up in my head and then it spirals out of control. We all do that.  We create our own issues/problems the more we go along.  Totally true.  Had I stopped and breathed and got out of my own head things might have turned out differently. 

I also am into cool beans today because I had a decent night last night.  I mean sure I had to go to my shitty gym that makes me pissed off and cringe inside its compounds.  I don’t think the excessively bright red walls help with that. Red seems like a mean color to paint your walls. Flaming red and all. But anyway, I didn’t create a work out plan.  I was like, cool beans Emily, just go with the flow.  I don’t like being there you know.  It’s a conflicted feeling because part of me adores that place. I’ve been going there for 2 years now.  I have many great memories and warm fuzzy feelings attached to parts of it. And then there is the seething red hatred for what it’s become.  Conflicted much? My nostalgic side wants to hang on to the good whereas the realist in me takes off the blinders and sees the shit as it is. It’s easier to accept it’s not the same place now that everything is moved around and its red.

Anyhow, cool beans Emily went to a treadmill and was like regardless of what shit is going on, we can do a little run.  Fuck the man so to speak who treats my treadmills like the enemy. Since when is putting in solid time on a treadmill a bad thing? Less we forget that some people actually run AND lift and are quite happy mixing both worlds. It’s even possible a girl can kick ass lifting heavy and still want to train and run a marathon, ya know.

I totally went thru a running rebellion post my last half marathon in Vegas in November.  I just needed a break. Which turned out to be a longer break than I thought. A break that tested my very desire to ever want to run again.  Thus months of not wanting to do it at all. Months of it being incredibly hard. Months of me thinking that maybe I’d never run a half again in my life.  I realize this is all probably pretty common place for runners.  And in the midst of this 3 month long break I can admit that the ease of which running came to me got thoroughly tested.  It’s hard.  Thank goodness I kept up with fitness as a whole during this time because that still allowed my body to be used to heavy marathon like training sessions.  Just not excessive cardio.  My body tricked my brain into thinking that a 3.1 mile run was torturous and nearly impossible. I hated it. Yup, I really truly did. No runners high for this girl in a 3.1 mile run. EVER! And by God the last couple months I remember agonizing over how extremely difficult that was and found myself cursing myself for ever thinking a simple 5k was that; simple.  I stand corrected. A 5k is and can be hard.  I’ll never hate on it again!  Lesson learned.

But, the last month or so I’ve been upping my running game and things have slowly started to get better. Like truly better. Like Monday night running 7.5 miles with pretty much ease enough to think I could run more.  And then last night, what has proven to be a torturous endeavor for me that 5k run, was dare I say it, a simple breeze.  Last night was the first time in a long time I experienced a 30 minute 5k run that just felt easy peasy. And I smiled.  I smiled because this is what is supposed to happen.  The more I give myself over to running, the more I love it and the easier it becomes which in turn makes me love it more.  This is the way it’s supposed to be.  Running constantly surprises me, teaches me new lessons and humbles me to my core.  In a nutshell, running not only is my all around go-to thing it quite frankly saves me; saves my sanity, saves my life every time.  Running is that for me.  I’m a girl who likes a good challenge and I love lifting any day of the week, but it ain’t know running. And I am thrilled that I’ve decided I get to be both girls.  I don’t have to choose.

So I knocked out a quick 5k, well still took 30 minutes, but I mean the effort that I had to put forth was a breeze.  Perhaps this means I should up the speed, right? Because my heart rate is entirely conditioned to this and I don’t burn nearly as many calories.  This old heart of mine can is so adjusted to running it’s not even funny. It’s not the workout it probably should be.  Anyhow, then I went down into no man’s land, i.e., the weight area to fight the body builders for some weight time.  It’s not the same gym, and it’s never going to be.  But alas, I did do some solid chest presses and upper body work that has left my chest feeling a little sore today. Not crazy sore, but a smidge.  I did some exercise; not as much as I probably should have, but oh well. And I burned a total of just shy of 400 calories in my hour and 15 minutes at the gym. 

After the gym my mom and I decided to go do a tour at the new gym facility.  The Kroc Center is what it is called. Anyhow, we did the tour and I have to say I liked the place. The gym facility is small. Smaller than my current gym. BUT, it does have 2 giant pools, a spin bike room, a rock wall and a basketball gym court where they house larger group exercise classes.  In addition to the regular group exercise room.  The equipment is nice there.  I don’t think they have nearly as many machines as my present gym, but that isn’t necessarily a horrible thing.  We will see.  But I felt comfortable there. The biggest thing it has going for it clearly is Amanda.  And my girl is teaching classes and that is a big plus in my book.  Being able to mindlessly take classes and get in a good workout is something I’ve been missing for a while. 

No one place is going to ever fully satisfy anyone.  There is always going to be something else you want.  But it’s the lesser of two evils at the moment.  I am pretty much on board for this change.  When you don’t want to go to your gym period because it just feels like a yucky place, that’s when you know it might be time to make a change. 

It will take a while I am certain to feel happy and comfortable and confident in a new place. But that doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t try. Plus you know, Amanda.  That’s a really big draw for me.  Oh and it has a café where I can buy coffee and snacks. This is a dangerous thing all around. My current gym has no such thing. Wierdos.  No food or beverages for purchase at all, which really seems stupid if you ask me.  Missed opportunity all around.

So alas, I am going to go to the old gym tonight, all by myself, and “rent a treadmill” as my asshole gym owner likes to say and do a nice run tonight.  Not sure about lifting right now.  Not sure I am loving anything enough to want to go down and mingle amongst the group.  But that’s fine; I am going to embrace my running full on right now. Nothing wrong with that! Then tomorrow I will do another old gym workout where I will try and do some heavy legs, if I can get on a machine.  Friday will be rest day and then Saturday I think I am signing up at the new gym. 

Cool Beans Emily is just going to go with the flow and whatever happens, happens.  But Sunday I have a 7 mile run, with a pretty shiny medal and I will be taking that one home. I will earn that one.  I will run all 7 miles. And I will feel vindicated for this last weekend. Ahem…. Cool beans!