Busy and Tired

The last two days at work have been eventful and busy and thus sometimes, on occasion, this part of my world has to give to the world of actual work.  It happens.  I expect it every now and then.  BUT, it’s Wednesday afternoon and I’m exhausted and my brain can’t function anymore and I need a break. So here I am.  Plus truthfully right now my body has little desire to go to the gym in 3 hours so I am going to try and will my spirit into getting excited about it by writing things out.  Some days we all need motivation.

I can honestly say I’ve completely fallen off the eating wagon, as in I just can’t seem to find any motivation or reason to want to lose weight. I guess that’s okay.  I don’t hate how I look nor do I realistically know that losing 10 pounds is going to make any vast difference in my appearance. It doesn’t.  So sometimes I think I should just quit fighting it and instead accept that sometimes I am going to eat cookies and a burger and fries and that’s just the way it is.

The only reason that I am able to eat like crap and still look all right is my crazy workout habits so I suppose it’s cool. I do need to try and eat a little better because it does feel really gross to eat nasty unhealthy stuff.  BUT, so much easier said than done.  While my eating has been way less than desirable my fitness has been pretty much on point.

Monday night I ran 6 miles. It was honestly the most comfortable 6 mile run I’ve had in a long time.  This made me feel more confident about running a half. I mean, I’m still terrified at this point but at least having the 6 miles feel comfortable was a good sign. I even did a little bit of weights afterwards.  Last night was a crazy cardio leg day where I forced my subjects to do rounds of cardio in between every strength exercise. (I.e., mountain climbers in the first set and jump squats in the second set)  Sometimes you write shit out for a workout and it sounds hard and good on paper but in actuality it’s WAY harder.  That was last night.  Lots of mountain climbers amongst a lot of reps of stuff.  But it was a great workout.

I had to pretty much rush thru the very end of the workout because it was Amanda’s birthday yesterday and I was meeting her and her family at 7 for dinner, at a burger joint of all places.  It was Amanda’s cheat meal and she wanted a burger and fries.  Because I pretty much don’t care about my food intake that much these days I said sure and followed my killer workout with food that was less than healthy.  But such is life and I honestly don’t mind.

Honestly yesterday was a really shitty stressful day all around and I can honestly say that 90 minutes of gym time was the best part of my day?  Or at least the part I felt the happiest at.  I had a good time with Amanda and her family but it wasn’t exactly “high” inducing like exercise you know.  Unfortunately for me the next couple days seems pretty busy as well. Which leads me to having zero desire to go to the gym tonight.  But I know I should because the alternative is to go home and eat and ultimately that seems like a really stupid idea. So I guess I should go. I should do a minimum of a 30 minute run followed by at least 30 minutes of weights.  As long as I can get in an hour of working out that is all that is necessary.  If I feel good and want to do more after that, then so be it, but let’s at least get a minimum in.

Tomorrow night is my little group training; it will be upper body work. Friday night is rest night and Chris and I are also taking my niece and nephew out to a pizza place that has laser tag.  So I will once again be having a cheat meal and no exercise.  Saturday morning is a 5k, which I will walk with my family, so not really a significant source of exercise.  Then probably a food and wine festival in the afternoon.  More excellent food choices I am sure.  And then Sunday I have a Shamrock Run.  Well, technically I am signed up for a half marathon, but honestly I am pretty scared of this.  There is a part of me that is strongly considering downgrading to the 15k, which is still freaking 9.3 miles.  That is still longer than I have ran in 4 months, but I don’t really know. I guess that will be a game day decision on Sunday.  The main reason I would consider it is because this area is incredibly hilly and the whole thing is going to be a nightmare of people and hills and nothing flat about it and that extra 4 miles tacked on might not really be worth it, you know.  I have a nice flat half scheduled for April 4 that I intend to do. It’s flat. That’s manageable.  That is also awfully soon, so I won’t feel too bad if I choose to do the 15k instead on Sunday.  We will see.

But who knows I might just say fuck it and get a wild hair and run/walk the half on Sunday anyway. Just for shit and giggles you know. Oh, and because I’m a major gluten for punishment in most ways. But my life is extremely busy and full the next couple days and thinking ahead to Sunday is scary and daunting to me.  It could also be because right now I am exhausted sitting here at my desk typing this out.  So it all seems like work. Everything I mentioned instead of the fun that each of these activities is designed to be.   It’s just that normal afternoon slump you know.

Oh, and my stupid ticket master debacle from Friday, well it seems that Garth Brooks first two concerts sold out in like 20 minutes so he added 5 more concerts to Portland so I was able to get 2 tickets to a different showing, so after all that I did manage to score 2 tickets. Still horrible level 3 seats because that was all that was available but at least I will be in the arena and sometimes that is just good enough.  So On April 12 I will be seeing Garth Brooks after all.  Sometimes things do work out in weird ways.

Let’s just hope I start to feel my groove a little more in a couple hours and I find my happy place to run in.  And by place I mean mental place.  I am sure like everything else in life; things will end up working out exactly how they are supposed to work out.

Oh, I am a tiny bit excited because I got some new Victoria Secret workout crop pants in green and they showed up yesterday just in time to wear them to my St. Patrick’s day themed runs this weekend.  I am not much of a dress up and run kind of girl, but if I can wear green to a St. Patty’s run then I am all for that. It’s the little things in life you know. I really shouldn’t be as excited about that as I am. 

I need to try and remember on days where I am feeling yucky about life in general just how damned good life really is.  Today is 3/11 and on 5/2 I am going to Vegas.  On 6/12 I am going to Seattle. On 9/28 I am going to Maui and then on 11/14 I’m going back to Vegas.  Those beginning month dates are not all that far apart.  It is March and in the next 9 months of 2015 I have 4 vacations planned including Maui.  Most importantly Maui.  So life isn’t really that negative you know.  Quite honestly I’m a spoiled spoiled girl. I mean when you look at your booking.com account (hotel reservations) and you’ve got 3 different dates in 3 different cities booked in the immediate future you’re life isn’t too bad.  Just trying to put it into perspective for myself.   That’s what you get when you don’t have children, so there are always tradeoffs in life.

I am drinking a rockstar right now, hoping that is going to help pick me up a little bit and talking about vacations has slightly improved my mood already so there you go. Mission accomplished. I will report back tomorrow on tonight’s efforts. Hopefully they are better than I fear.