Just keep swimming

 How come most days about noon I feel super great, ready to tackle the world, ready to go to the gym and kill it. And then something crazy happens over the course of the next 3 hours when it hits mid to late afternoon and suddenly I have zero desire to do anything.  I have to practically force myself into my workout clothes and of course into the gym. I’d say it’s perhaps a food thing, but generally speaking I simply think it’s just a life thing. Mid-afternoon slumps are real.

Some days you just feel it and some days are disasters. You mostly can’t plan or predict for them, the best you can do is acknowledge their existence and work on thru it.  Last night about 4 PM I had zero desire for the gym, but I decided I was going to work out a plan anyway.  I went and ran a 5k, and honestly it felt great.  No idea why sometimes running a 5k is easy peasy and sometimes it’s like death, seriously horrible.  Luckily last night was the former and I felt pretty chill about it all.  Of course that gave me the energy to power thru my shoulder and bicep workout I had penciled out. Overall I felt good about my workout.

My gym is seriously bi-polar.  These new owners have these horrific moments of complete asshole-ness and I hate them and can’t even consider myself staying there and then they have these weird random moments of being nice which lead me to believe that it’s all some sort of trick.  I’m honestly not sure.  So last night about 5:30, while running on the treadmill the 2 owners walked around and literally handed out something to every person in the gym.  I was watching as she was walking thru the treadmills handing something out. I had no idea what it was but given that she was going to every person I just patiently waited until it was my turn.  She came over to me and handed me a small little plastic card. At first I thought it was some sort of business card but I pulled my earpiece out and she said, use this for yourself, do some training or else give it to a friend. I looked down and realized it was a $100 gift card for the gym.  So I guess they want people to do a couple personal training sessions just to get hooked maybe? That’s enough money for about 3 personal training sessions.  I was confused. It’s like I’m always looking for the catch when it comes to these gym owners.  I simply don’t trust them. But it was a nice gesture I guess.  Unless of course there are strings attached in which case that would make more sense to me. We shall see I suppose.  Don’t even know who I’d want to do personal training with anyway.  Like I said, we shall see.

I was telling my mom last night that I’m really kind of tired of the gym and glad that I am getting back into the running world because on some level that is one of the most comfortable places in the world for me. At running events, with runners. I feel more connected to them as a whole than I do the meathead body builders at the gym.  Of course my gym has a high concentration of meathead body builders, given it’s the stupid home of the Oregon bodybuilding team.  It’s really pretty terrible for one’s self-esteem to constantly be surrounded by these types of people. Why can’t I just be at a normal gym where there is your normal range of people you know. Sure, some meatheads but mostly average people just trying to better themselves.  That’s where I feel I fit in best. Just a normal girl you know.

I seriously hope this week flies by fast because I already want it to be the weekend. I’m already over this week and its only Tuesday mid-day. Boy I think I wake up most mornings and wish that I could just win the lottery. I am sure most people think about that on a daily basis though. If only I were independently wealthy and didn’t have to work.  Boy would life be kick-ass then! Of course I’d just find a whole new set of problems I’m sure.  I’m sure I’d be bored and then shop to much (as if I don’t already shop to much as it is!) and of course eventually I’d feel like my life had little meaning or purpose. It would be tough, but it’s still lovely to dream about. I sure would like to tackle those problems as opposed to the ones I have now!

I need to make my workout plan for tonight. Tonight is my personal training group with my mom, sister and cousin. It’s leg day so it should be hard and intense.  I guess I just have to keep going even on the days when I don’t really want to.  It’s not like at this point I honestly even know any other way of life. It’s been a hell of a long time and this is simply what I do.  I love being active and healthy, sure it’s a huge plus that it makes me like the image in the mirror more, but ultimately it just boils down to how it makes me feel.  So even when the stupid afternoon slump hits, I will still change into my workout clothes, write out a plan and go to the gym.  I just don’t know any other way of living.

Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. That’s pretty much where I’m at. Block out all the negativity and focus on the things that are going right and bring me joy and contentment in my heart.  Do the things that I know make me happy. Forget about the rest. Seems like a legit way to live. I’ll be back tomorrow with my workout plan from tonight.