I’m feeling a little better today than yesterday. Always a good thing. Not that I was feeling physically bad yesterday just mentally tired of my routine/life. I mean, nothing has changed at all between yesterday and today but somehow it’s ever so slightly better. I mean my job is still annoying the ever-lasting fuck out of me but I suppose from time to time that is going to happen. My work relationship has turned into one of those on call, on demand; I’m your bitch kind of things. While at the gym last night I was taking classes so left my phone in my gym bag, totally normal. Between 6:00 and 7:00 I had 3 missed calls, a voicemail, a text and an email. I get off work at 5 PM my friends. I replied to the email and thought that would do it. Later, about 8:30 I get another email asking for more “info” about something. I responded. 7 AM this morning another email; I responded. I start work at 8:30 AM. This kind of stuff happens a lot but normally it doesn’t bother me like it is right now. I can totally understand the whole beck and call kind of situation if I made more than a measly $12 an hour with not a single benefit at all. No health insurance, no vacation days, no sick days, nothing. Whatever. That’s just me bitching right now.
I’ve read a lot lately about how it’s easier to complain and bitch about our problems so in the spirit of that I want to talk about the positives. God knows I’ve spent too much time dwelling in the negative as of late so it’s time to refocus on the happy positive. I think that we entirely get back from the universe what we put out into it and therefore if I want to return to my happy positive land than I have just simply decide to be happy and make it happen. I wholeheartedly believe this. As a complete general rule I am a happy positive contended person so dwelling in this ridiculous unhappy land for too long starts to take its toll on me?
Oregon has been absolutely beautiful the past week or so. Just gorgeous. I am quite enjoying the beautiful weather. It really does just make you feel better in general. I love wearing tank tops and oh yeah, not being cold all the time. Unfortunately the past week, right when it’s so beautiful outside, the air conditioning inside the group fitness room at the gym broke. It’s been ridiculously hot in the room and therefore they keep cancelling and cutting classes short. Cause frankly, it is like a sauna in the room and then people sweat and the floor gets so sticky and slimy with sweat that doing cardio is dangerous. Good times. Last night I did do my three classes but instead of being 30 minute classes they ended up being like 20 minute low impact classes. Slightly disappointing but at least still a workout. I only managed 450 calories burned but it’s perfectly fine.
I didn’t stick around too much longer after the classes and headed home. Chris went to his dad’s to pick up our tent trailer for next weekend. We are going camping next weekend. Anyhow, that meant I had the house to myself. It was REALLY nice. Sometimes a girl just needs some good quality alone time. I forget how much I just love being in the house by myself to do my girly things. And by girly things that means I totally dyed my hair again (side note: I was in desperate need of a hair dye job and feel so much improved by simply having blonde hair again), and then I did a facial mask at the same time. While I waited for the hair dye to soak up I danced around the house, did a few domestic things and generally just enjoyed having the music cranked and being fancy free. These are generally only things you can do when you are completely alone and have no fear of someone walking in and surprising you expectantly.
Probably because of my calming me evening I am feeling that need to be happy. I mean, my hair looks great today after a fresh dye job so that is reason enough to be happy, right? I’m going with it anyway. I think what I really need is a nice good cardio session. I can talk all I want about strength training and building muscle which I really do love, but sometimes a girl just wants to sweat out her problems with a good run. At my core I am still a runner. Nothing makes me feel as contented and free as a good run. So I think tonight I will at least try and do a 30 minute 5k run. I do not think cardio is bad at all. There is nothing wrong with cardio. In fact I am entirely certain that my intense 5 day a week 60 minute cardio running sessions is a strong factor in how I was able to lose all the weight again at a pace that I am used to. Cardio, cardio, cardio. It will ALWAYS be my go-to. It does so much more for me than burn calories, it clears my mind. Something that is entirely equally important to me. Especially since I’m such a nut job most of the time; I need that.
I really want to focus on the positive and happy so I am going to list 5 things today that I like about myself… ready… go…
1. I am enjoying my emerging arm muscles immensely. They keep me going, working towards something
2. I am learning how to maintain my weight and be healthy. Today the scale was 141.9. Last Thursday it was 141.4 I think, so half a pound. That is normal fluxuation and I am cool with that.
3. I like my never quit, keep fighting attitude. I guess that’s called determination. When I decide to do something; I do it. I ususally can feel pretty confident that I will get it accomplished. It’s a nice trait to be able to believe in yourself I guess
4. I love that I generally have clear skin and a good complexion. Thanks genetics and the help of Philosophy brand skin care products. Awesome! I love that I rarely break out and don’t hate the sight of myself in the mirror without makeup on.
5. Maybe 5 was ambitious, this last one is hard to come up with. I guess in that vein, I will say I love my ability to continue to try. That even when things are hard or no matter how many times its seems I have done something; I am always willing to try again and improve.
We are all continually works in progress and today I am working on it, trying to see more of the happy positive in the daily grind of it all. Maybe I’m just overdue for my weekend. Especially since I did start my period this week and it tends to make me a little hormonal and uneven.
With all that said; smile smile. Cause today I am choosing to just be happy!
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