Pretty Average

Today I lost 1.5 pounds. I am thrilled with this number. THRILLED. Funny how two years of being weight and health conscious really changes your entire perspective.  1.5 is an amazing number. Back in the day 1.5 would not have been good enough.  Of course this was back when I had lots of weight to lose, but even still I don’t ever remember being this consistently thrilled with losing 1.5 pounds a week. This actually puts my average at exactly 1.5 pounds per week for the last 9 weeks. I have lost a total of 13.5 pounds in 9 weeks. I started at 159.5 and today was 146 even. I am definitely getting more comfortably back into the 140’s.

The thing about losing a consistent 1.5 pounds per week is that aside from obviously being smaller to begin with, it also means that I’m pretty much living my life, going out to dinner indulging here and there and still having some consistent success. It’s not a crazy speed of loss but it’s nothing shabby either. Perfectly healthy, average and normal and I’m perfectly okay with that. I still go out to dinner at least once a week and obviously sneak far too many of my husband’s chips here and there that I don’t record. Yes, he has a tortilla chip fetish and I my hand might get in the bag more often than not.  You know those big Costco bags of tortilla chips; it’s pretty easy to eat a few here and there without realizing the combined calorie factor.

It’s amazing how much happier I am today weighing 146 pounds than I was 9 weeks ago at almost 160. My body feels slightly sluggish and mentally I feel crappy weighing that much, despite how much I might try to convince myself otherwise. 146 is a perfectly comfortable, happy place for me. I have one week/one weigh-in left until I go to San Jose and I always said I wanted to be 145 getting on that plane. It seems very possible. Of course I am not going to jinx myself or put too much stalk into it. Its 1 pound but our bodies can also be wonky on occasion.  So while I will be thrilled and it seems quite likely that this can occur, if it doesn’t it’s not the end of the world either. I have already won. I’ve already succeeded where I wasn’t sure it was possible.

Rewind to 3 or 4 months ago and I was struggling to find any balance or control. In April/May I could not for the life of me figure out how to lose weight. In hindsight it was so much a result of weird pressure felt at the gym and trying to figure out how much importance not only the gym, but running was going to get in my life. I have found my balance. And running wins! Ha Ha. But seriously, it was when I decided that running was far more important in my life and to let the rest of it go and make myself happy when I was finally able to break my cycle. The moment I let it go and gave over to the idea that my weekends belonged to me and running that everything finally fell into place.  Yes, it has meant giving up some of my gym time and a little bit of the dependency that my trainer/friend Amanda had on me.  But what I gained was far superior.

Do you know how crazy good it feels to share my weekends with my husband doing something we both love that make our lives whole and fulfilled? Some of you probably do know that it feels like, (you might just not run but actually share other good stuff with your spouse).  My marriage, my family, etc. is far more important than the gym. When I decided that my “real” world was going to trump my gym world, things fell into place.

Life is constantly about changing and reevaluating and shifting the focus and goals and priorities. What I needed from the gym a year ago is obviously not what I need from it now. It’s okay for me to not be the ever present woman at the gym. I am comfortable and fuck it, thrilled with the life and world I’ve created outside of the gym. Don’t get me wrong the gym is still important and I value all the things it gives me and yes, even my personal training sessions that kick my ass. That won’t ever change.

I just am truly happy from my core out now. My weight/my size/exercise, all of it has truly become about my overall health, and wellness and happiness again. The focus has shifted from the vain exterior to being able to live the life I want.  The life I am leading right now.

Hopefully if everything goes as it has been I should be 145 next week and then in between San Jose and Las Vegas I have 6 weeks. I am hoping to get to 140 by the time Vegas comes around. Again, totally possible. 6 weeks-5 pounds.  Those are my tentative goals.  But honestly it’s just a guide, as the scale is pretty damned unimportant. It’s more about how I look and feel. The number is just a guide, just a silly little thing to show an overall trend.

We are solely responsible for our own happiness and the quality of our lives. If you are unhappy, do something about it. Change it. Find your passion. Find your joy. I completely understand a little bit of luck might be involved and obviously some things are beyond your control. I get that. Which is why it’s all the more important to make the things you can control as valuable as possible. Life is freaking short. And important, and precious. Love the hell out of the moments you have.

Whew. Off my little rant there now. It’s Thursday. Which means that today is day 6 in a row of exercise for me. Right now I feel pretty good but its early morning. I am sure by the afternoon I will have zero desire to actually go to the gym, but I will make myself go anyway. Plan is a 30 minute run and then an upper body workout. Last night in training we did legs.  So it’s definitely some upper body work kind of night. Then rest tomorrow. Then another half on Saturday. This is my 5^th half in 5 weeks. And of course with San Jose the following weekend I will be running 6 half’s in 6 weeks. That is the most I’ve done in a row.  But honestly right now my body kind of feels used to it. Then Sunday I have a 5k.

Just got to finish out September strong, get thru San Jose (which will be FUN!!!) and then it slows down a bit in October and November and especially Decemeber. The weather is turning and it’s not going to be a lot of fun after that. But I still have some events to do before it’s all said and done for the year but we are on the home stretch!

This moment the sun is shining and I can smile a little because it’s a beautiful day… Have a great one!