On pins and needles

Monday’s are never really that awesome. I mean, how can you possibly get jacked about having to return to work and the grind of doing things that you have to get paid to do, otherwise you wouldn’t do them? NOT fun.  I think I am also extra stressed because I am worried sick about my dog Molly. I told you on Friday that last week we were dealing with an eye injury that we thought was getting better. Thought. Because honestly we are not doctors. We do the best we can but some things are not in our control.  As soon as we noticed something we took her in to the doctor the next day. Got her meds. Have been giving her all her meds. She went to the vet Tuesday morning. It was either Wednesday or Thursday when we thought her eye looked funny. Like hazy, glossy. Like a marble or honestly what you might expect to see in the eye of a blind person.

Chris called the doctor and told them her eye was hazy/glazed over. The nurse went and talked to the vet who told us this was normal, and not to worry about it. We said, okay. Kept giving her her meds, etc. She started to open her eye up more the next day or two, but it definitely wasn’t “all there”. I figured it would go away in time. We took her in on Saturday afternoon for her follow up appointment and suddenly the doctor was alarmed. He told us that this was not normal and that he was very concerned about her eye. Basically though the doctor was an idiot. He didn’t really sound like he knew what he was doing. I should probably not call any doctor an idiot, but he really sounded clueless other than to alarm the shit out of us and talk about having to bring in a specialist and that she might have to lose her eye. Inside I was freaking the fuck out. Really pissed actually at the vet clinic because clearly I feel like they failed us. We did what we were supposed to do. Took her to the doctor, called when we thought it wasn’t right and now we are being told this shit?

I tried to remain calm but it’s hard. Chris has less of a tolerance for calm. He was so pissed afterward. We decided that the doctor didn’t sound all that convincing of anything. He sent us home with stronger antibiotics and told us we needed a follow up visit again on Tuesday. NOT impressed. We decided to call Chris’s dad and see if he could take her in today to his vet. He has a great vet in Hillsboro where he lives where he’s taken all his dogs for years. We just feel like a second opinion is in order. Of course all of this is costing money, a lot of money. We’ve already spent over $300 to basically be told that he isn’t sure and we are going to have to see a specialist. We now are going to have to pay for another visit today. It’s not about the money. I’m not thrilled about the money but I just want my baby to be better. I am SCARED. I really don’t want her to lose her eye. It’s horrific to me. I keep telling Chris that we are doing the best we can and that no matter the outcome she is my baby, my child, my love and no matter what, I am going to love her and take care of her. It’s not like that was ever in doubt, but it just breaks my heart. I keep praying for my baby and hoping for a miracle.

Obviously I’m a little uneasy and nervous and stressed about this situation. I am hoping the vet visit today produces some answers. Basically I just want to know what is wrong. I hate being told it could be this and then doing nothing but giving her an antibiotic which clearly doesn’t seem to be helping. Ugh. Sigh.

Saturday morning we ran a half marathon which was a nice run. It was actually a pretty fun race, and a pretty good course. Great after party, given it was at the big old Oktoberfest which is a big deal around these parts. I had a nice run. Nothing majorly eventful. Finished in my normal range. All was good. I don’t really push myself that much. I just go and run my normal pace and just go for it. Consequently afterwards I typically feel pretty good. I don’t feel hurt or injured or sore. Yes, I am a little tired, but that’s mostly from waking up at 5 AM typically.  Finished the race, hung out and had a good time. Went home, Chris took a nap, I played around on the internet and then we took Molly in.

After taking in Molly clearly it turned into a stressful evening unfortunately. We watched a movie on the couch and went to bed fairly early. Yesterday we woke up and I felt completely unmotivated to do much of anything. I did put on my workout clothes first thing so that I would be more likely to workout. Chris was home and I just didn’t want to go to the gym. Some days you just don’t want to, and I guess that is okay. My life has shifted into not working out at the gym on weekends. Instead enjoying my free time in the great out of doors. Of course as the weather shifts into fall this will probably have to shift again as well.

I did want to be active so about noon we decided we should go for a hike. We loaded up and headed for a little drive. It was actually quite lovely.  We ended up hiking which was pretty much uphill for about 90 minutes. In the end, thanks to all my sports watches and tracking, we went 4.25 miles and I burned 575 calories. Not too bad for a day post half marathon when I really didn’t feel like doing much. I will take it. Plus it was gorgeous and I really enjoyed being outside with my husband. Quite peaceful.

Last night we made an awesome dinner and pretty much went to bed early. Chris loaded up Molly this morning to take her to his dad’s house and now we wait for what this doctor says. Fingers crossed she doesn’t lose her eye. My poor sweet little girl. She really is the best dog I’ve ever had and I love her with all my heart.