Phase 2 10 day detox

I’m not going to lie, my last 10 days were a big old utter mess on the food/health front. Hello, I was in Hawaii! And I drank and I ate and things were actually quite awful with food. I make no excuses other than I went for it and I ate like the inner fat girl I am. Yes, my inner girl is a FAT girl. Always will be. I love me some food and candy and sugary sweet tropical drinks; to excess. Yes, there is the key right there, to excess. I can’t ever shake that whole I’m on vacation so I can massively indulge mentality. Right now I am not certain that I want to debate the reasons why despite working my ass off for months prior that all it takes is one little vacation to throw me completely off. At this moment I don’t really care that it happened. It happened. That’s all I can say.

What is more interesting and far more important to me is what I am going to do now. My 10 day trend ended yesterday and as I knew I would, starting today is detox. It is not going to be pretty or easy but it is going to happen (it is presently happening) and I am going to do it. I am giving myself a 10 day detox. Basically this means I vow to eat completely clean and healthy for the next 10 days. It is in part to counter act the last 10 days but truly because I need to get my body off the sugar addiction it’s formed. 10 days of eating completely clean. I will NOT indulge in one little piece of candy or sugar snack. Yes, generally I think that this behavior is fine, but right now it’s a slippery slope and I can’t. So 10 days completely clean. That is how I am rolling.

And now exercise. I can’t lie; I am scared shitless to run tonight. And run I will. Taking off so much time makes me somehow afraid that my body won’t remember how to be physically active and I won’t be able to do what I love to do. And right now part of my body is tricking me into thinking that maybe I didn’t really love it anyway so it’s okay. Stupid sugar in the blood system. Honestly, realistically I know it’s going to be hard. I just have to accept that. So again, I’ve made a mental plan for myself. I am allowing myself the next few days to not go to the gym, instead I will and can go home and run each and every day for the next couple days if that’s what I feel like. I am allowing myself the opportunity to build up my exercise comfort level from my own home before venturing back to the gym. I have no doubt I will go back, but a couple days of at home running wouldn’t be terrible to build up my confidence in myself again.

Next course of action. Executive decision time. I am not weighing myself. I have no doubt I gained weight over the last 10 days. Right now I feel extremely bloated from all the extra foods, but I’m hoping that will pass on its own. With all that said, I am still fine. I look fine. I am not going to torture myself and derail my ability to focus on being healthy again by seeing any number. Quite frankly it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter what I weigh and I’ll tell you why. I weigh what I weigh. What happened happened and I am not going to beat myself up over it. I went on vacation to Hawaii and I don’t really care what I ate. I might care if today, this very day I wasn’t committed to going right back to what I do while on Oregon ground. But since I am committed to myself and my health I know that whatever damage was done in Hawaii will be undone. That my weight is going to fluxuate anyway so let’s just recommit to health and wellness and everything else will fall into place. I truly believe that.

I will weigh myself on July 1. That is my tentative plan. Give myself 3 weeks to let the chips fall as they may. I had already mentally decided since I am not really actively trying to lose weight anymore that weighing myself weekly would just lead to utter frustration for me anyway. It really would. As long as I maintain my healthy lifestyle overall it’s okay to let my clothes be my guide of my weight. After July 1 I might go to an every 2 week system or I may just stick to once a month. I don’t know. All I know is right now I don’t want to see any numbers until July 1. That is perfectly acceptable with me especially as I turn over a new leaf in my health plan.

Remember that Phase 2 I spoke of pre-vacation. Well, it’s here. And I am committed to it. Phase 2 starts today; just as I am today. Of course there is no food in my house so I definitely will need to make a very basic grocery run for some yogurt and fruit at the least. I don’t even know what else I need.

We got in late last night and being the frantic girl I am ran around and unpacked and did stuff pretty late and of course I am back at work today and as expected I have tons to do. I would love to write all about my amazing adventures on Maui; which I am sure I will do later this week; next week but obviously I have to try to work some. Also, I have lots of photos to download and sort thru and then I will post some of them. Of course this takes time that is in precious demand right now.

So basically, I just needed to come here and outline my plan for myself. My Phase 2 get my ass in gear plan and you know what, I totally feel better having said it all out loud. I feel like I am in control and I can do this right now. This is so much farther ahead than I was any other time I went to Maui. It always fell apart for me afterwards. NOT this time. This time I am in control. I predict 10 days from now I am going to be feeling great again and getting my exercise high back.

For now, I have to get back to work….