Time to Rally

Well now, I had the unfortunate pleasure of spending my morning getting new tires put on my vehicle. When I came home on Saturday evening, I was greeted to a flat tire and since I’ve known for quite some time that I needed new ones, I had to bite the bullet and head in for a full set at 8 AM. The unfortunate realities of life. I was only like ½ an hour late for work so that is good.  Did I mention I am exhausted? It’s 2:15 PM and honestly I am just ridiculously exhausted. I don’t think this is too shocking since I feel like I’ve been going a million miles a minute for days on end now.

Friday night our drive to Bend was actually really nice. It was about 2 ½ hours, but it seemed to fly by, which was nice. Of course when we got into town it was about 9:45 or so and we made our way to our dump of a hotel room. Seems that when you book a room last minute on a busy weekend there aren’t many options. I probably would have turned away if it weren’t for the reality that I was checking in at 10 PM and leaving at like 6 AM. It had a bed which seemed like enough at the moment.  But just barely. We were starving so we went to Applebee’s which turned out to be a horrific idea. Applebee’s isn’t that good to begin with, made worse at 10 PM on a Friday night in a different city as your main source of substance before a big run. BAD idea all around.

I kept waking up all night not only checking my phone for the time cause I don’t ever want to oversleep. And then because my stomach could literally feel the grease like a giant lead weight in my stomach. When we got up I seriously wanted to vomit so badly just to make my stomach feel better. I didn’t. But I seriously had a moment where I was sure throwing up would have been the best option.  I pushed on, stopped at Safeway for a muffin and some power aid to help ease my stomach. It didn’t help that much.

Ususally running is euphoric and I find my happy place after about mile 3. There was not a single second of my run where I felt content or happy. Every single step was hard and painful for me. I suppose some runs are just like that. Given my previous 2 half’s were completed in what felt like effortless fashion and were completely 100% enjoyable, I am not going to judge running based on this Saturday’s experience. It was miserable. I never got into any sort of groove. From my first few steps on, I was not feeling it and it just got worse and worse as I continued. I mentally checked out, and I physically checked out. So much so that at mile 11, I started walking. I never walk. I just didn’t care anymore. I was tired and I wanted it to be over.  You’d think that this would inspire me to finish faster; instead I dragged out those last 2 miles for longer than I ever should have by literally walking. I was glad when it was finished. Like crazy glad. Not in a euphoric happy way, in a thank god that torture is over kind of way. HA HA. Like I said, thank goodness I had two epically amazing half marathons the weekends before so that I know they aren’t all that miserable.

However, my medal was ridiculously awesome. It was gorgeous, and large and slightly made up for the misery that was this run.  I think in hindsight I hated the course. It was along a bike path around a community. Yes, there were some lakes and such but overall it was uneventful and uninspiring and there was just nothing going on. This reinforces why I love large races so much. I am constantly stimulated and it takes my brain off of the idea that I am running and at times in pain. (Either physical or emotional). There were few spectators and the runners were quite spaced out and at times I felt alone and not like I was running a race, but rather the single loan runner and somehow I don’t like that. Despite running being a totally singular experience, it is somehow utterly connected and I was missing that connection. Not to mention countless times bikers were coming at me from the opposite direction and I had to almost jump out of the way for them. ANNOYING.

Glad that one was over, my confidence is a little shaken, which always happens after I sort of mentally give up. That is the worst part, the mental quit. It makes me doubt myself and my abilities.  After the race we hung out for a while before heading home. By this point I was pretty much exhausted. Not going to bed until after midnight, getting up early and running a miserable race, feeling nauseous the whole time. Body wanted to shut down. We got home about 4 PM, when I discovered the flat tire, oh joy.

I still had a good time, which seems odd, given all the factors, but I still had a nice time in that environment with my husband. We ended up just watching some Orange is the New Black for a few hours on the couch before going to bed about 11 PM, only to get up at 7 on Saturday to set up and get ready for a garage sale. Yup, no rest for this chick. Back at it again yesterday, doing a garage sale. It was good. It was worth my time, I still have enough stuff left in my garage that I think we will do another one this Saturday, but totally worth the effort yesterday. But again, exhausting. Last night I wanted to crash, but somehow I just keep going.

Watched a few episodes of Orange again last night, I was a grumpy ass mess let me tell you that. Almost beyond the point of exhaustion to where I couldn’t fall asleep but certainly I needed it.  I have not gotten enough rest at all. This is abundantly clear to me.  But I keep going. So I pack my gym clothes and fight exhaustion as I intend to go tonight after work. This second I can think of very little that sounds worse but who knows I might have a change of heart in a few hours.  This is the one thing I know, I am taking it easy this week on all accounts because on Friday I am running another half marathon. 4^th of July half. I am sure my body is not fully recovered at this moment in time for the extreme’s I have put it thru. The thing that has to go is a little bit of gym time I think. That, or else I just need to get in some more sleep. I am sure once I can catch up a little on sleep that things will feel better.  Just operating on fumes at this point.  There is a part of me that just feels like curling up into a little ball and sleeping.

Time to rally. Put on the exercise clothes, chug down some fresh water and power on thru for a little bit more. That is what I do after all. Because at the end of the day there is some sick twisted part of me that loves this shit.