The perfect distance

We are constantly learning. That is what I discovered this weekend. Not that this is terribly shocking, but I honestly walked away from my half marathon yesterday with a bit of a realization, which is, 13.1 miles is MY race distance. That is honestly the distance I most prefer.  I think at the end of the day I’d rather run 13.1 miles than just 3.1 miles, and here’s why.

On Saturday we got up and made our way up to Vancouver for a 5k run. It was even a later start run which was nice, so I had no excuse in the world not to be in decent form both mentally and physically. After all, I had not run since the previous Saturday when I had my bit of a disastrous allergy filled 10k run. Therefore I should have had fresh legs so to speak.  We lined up, the buzzer sounded and we were off. And almost immediately I hated every single second of it. Seriously wondered why the hell I was doing this. Funny how some days just suck like that. I think the 3.1 mile distance is particularly brutal on me because it is so short. It takes me at least 2-3 miles to get warmed up to a run and therefore when I am only running 3.1 miles, I NEVER get my groove, I never experience pleasure from the run and I certainly do not get any feeling of satisfaction upon completion. Mostly I get disappointment and FEAR. Fear because it is such a struggle for me to endure a 3.1 mile run that it always leaves me SCARED to death of the prospect of running 13.1 miles. It fills me with self-doubt which is never a good thing.

The 5k was brutal and it was completely not fun. It produced nothing worthwhile for me, instead leaving me scared and worried. Oops. I did get a t-shirt from it, but it’s not like I needed another race shirt. After the race, we hung out for about an hour which really zoomed by quickly before volunteering in the packet pick up booth. It was actually kind of fun to do packet pick up and hand out race packets. I enjoyed myself and plus felt like I was doing something good volunteering and all.

Ultimately it just made for a long day because as soon as we got home we had to change and then head to my cousin’s house for a house warming party. We didn’t really make it home until about 9 PM or so and then we were exhausted. Not good, considering we were running that half early in the morning.  In the end it wasn’t terribly early so that was good. We had to get up about 6:30 AM, leave the house at about 7:00 or so and get to the venue about 8:00 or so, with a 9 AM race start.

I actually felt decent when I got up and am pretty much accustomed to the reality that I am going to have to go in for a long run and no matter what I may “feel” I will finish. I was a little weary because my last two runs were so awful. But my last half, San Diego on June 1, was pretty dang good so whatever. Funny how we can lose our confidence so easily.  We lined up and started running. I started at a nice comfortable pace and for some reason even the first couple miles weren’t terribly brutal. There is just such a different mindset about running a half than running a 5k. It’s like my brain knows that I am going to be running for 2 hours 20 minutes so I might as well settle in and endure. It’s like my brain won’t allow my body to get tired or upset in the first couple miles. I am thankful we have these natural defense mechanisms in place that protect us.

The thing is, after mile 3 I really started to completely enjoy myself. I think it is about this point in the run where the endorphins kick into over drive and my body accepts what is happening and therefore that runners high occurs. Miles 4-11 were blissful. I was smiling and comfortable and felt like I could run forever. The course was beautiful and my comfort level was awesome. I actually contemplated how ironic it is that the previous day I could not for the life of me muster thru 3.1 miles with any success but today the miles were ticking away and I was in heaven. Clearly I am a distance runner. Clearly I need the high and clarity that enduring thru miles produces.

Truthfully even the last 2.1 miles were not as awful or gut wrenching as some of my previous runs. I actually felt pretty good. Probably because I was so relaxed throughout most of it, when I crossed the finish line there was a part of me that felt like I could have kept going. I hadn’t hit my wall yet. That was a nice encouraging sign for me. Especially in light of having to force myself to run 3 miles the previous day. 13.1 miles feels good to me. It takes me to my happy place; it gives me a real sense of satisfaction and accomplishment.

The medal was AMAZING. Truly one of my favorites to date, big and shiny and gold. Pretty much the way a medal should look in my opinion. Overall this was one of my favorite races because of scenery and because of how I felt. It just felt right yesterday and I love it when that occurs. When I am running everything else in my life just seems to fade away and somehow become less important or significant than I make it. I am of course referring to the negative things we dwell on.  Somehow the most clarifying times in my life come while I run. The trivial slips away and the important stuff rises to the top of the list.  I constantly am able to refocus my life and priorities when I run long distance.

For some reason a little run is just torture, but magically running long distance is perfection. Ironic. I see how so many people can hate running, because if you never get past the first couple miles it is always going to suck. In those moments of bliss I know with 100% certainty what and who is important to me. That is just an awesome feeling all around. I promise you I am not thinking about what my body fat percentage is or what the scale says or if I should or should not have ate that extra whatever. IRRELEVANT. And that is the happiest I have ever been, not bogged down by the negativity inside my own head. Thank you running for freeing me from the torturous voices inside my own head.

It was an incredibly busy weekend, but also very rewarding. Honestly the best part of the entire weekend was those 2 hours twenty minutes when I was running yesterday morning, living my life to the fullest.  I was meant to do this.

It’s a four day work week for me. Friday I get up and drive to Seattle for another rock n roll race. EXCITED for that. Love the rock n rolls and love the bling. This life is good.  How do you not smile?