An Actual Anniversary

Today is June 6^th. 3 years ago today I was on a beach in Maui getting married. I can’t believe how much has occurred and changed since then.  I had the lowest point in our entire marriage followed by the best, most honest time we’ve ever had. I think it’s true that when they say when you reach rock bottom is only when things can actually get better, if you put in the time and effort to work on them. My relationship has never been perfect, but we were perfect at ignoring and glossing over the problems. Which of course were going to bubble over and boil into a heaping pile of resentment and discontent. Rock bottom is not a fun place to be at all, but unfortunately sometimes is necessary to finally do the hard work. And continually do the hard work. Relationships are not a one-time deal, they require constant work and attention. All things I have learned in the past year.

Last year we were in Maui on our anniversary. Had a good time but in my heart I knew things were at their sort of breaking point. There was definitely trouble in our world. This anniversary feels like the weight of the world has been lifted off my shoulders and I feel happy and in love. That is a nice amazing feeling. Peace and contentment.  Even in the midst of our epic battles I always knew at our core we wanted the same things just had a shit time expressing our feelings and getting to that conclusion. If we could somehow get ourselves aligned we would be great. And with the help of therapy and a little medical assistance and work, I sit here today as proof that things can change. Despite thinking this impossibility, happiness is possible.

No joke, the last 8 or 9 months, since changing our lives, I can count the fights or blow ups on probably one hand. I never expected a life without a few arguments, that is not possible. But a life where you have a fight over a topic and then you apologize and forgive the next day, that is what I was after. And of course in a year’s time only having a few occurrences that do not result in epic bitter blood baths so to speak. This is progress and happiness.  Let’s not forget I have a giant temper and am prone to dramatic break downs myself, I am learning.

This anniversary is much much better. I am actually smiling today and happy in my life, in who I am, in where I am at. I feel blessed and excited most days that I wake up. This is the good parts of life. The sun is shining today and I am smiling. It’s Friday. I am going to get thru this work day and then maybe hit the gym tonight for a quick little strength workout and then tomorrow morning up and at it bright and early for a 10k run with my husband. Then afterwards a nice Saturday afternoon of hanging out at home, around town. Probably a few household errands and then some much needed house cleaning. Sunday Chris is going fishing and I am having a girl day with my trainer Amanda. My perfect girl day which is a gym session workout, a movie and sushi date. Perfect all around. Much to look forward to.

Life is infinitely better when you have activities that you enjoy that you are looking forward to. There is never a dull moment in my life, always something else exciting on the horizon.  I can already get excited for the following weekend because it is a good half marathon. Actually on Saturday is a 5k to kick off the Vancouver USA Marathon weekend. Then we are volunteering at the running expo for a few hours, and then a house warming party for my cousin and then Sunday morning is a great half. It’s bizarre that I can pretty much tell you where I will be on any given weekend for the remainder of 2014. Yup, my life is that planned out in races. I LOVE it. I look forward to every single weekend. This is the happiness that I have always craved in my life.

At 35 years old I am finally the version of me that I am most proud of and most contended with. FINALLY.  I keep expecting and or waiting for the ball to drop, guess that’s the little pessimist that has lived inside me my whole life, but I am working on that.

So I had an amaze balls dinner last night. So simple and so clean. ½ a cup of whole grain pasta, 5 ounces of grilled chicken breast and some sautéed vegetables. I put a little bit of Kikkoman Ponzi flavor on the top. Heaven! Kind of like Chinese food but good healthy stuff you know. Here’s a picture of my pretty dinner. I swear if I ate like this all the time I would be contented and happy, but boy its work to constantly come up with healthy stuff, but I keep trying. As long as you pick yourself up and try that is the most important part.

I should mention that Wednesday night in personal training we did legs. It is funny that at least now Amanda always asks me before we start if it is okay to do legs, in case I have some important run on the weekend that I don’t want to be all sore for. I agreed that this week would be an excellent week for legs, because I know eventually I have to do a leg workout. Leg days are not my favorite because they hurt so much! Ha. But I digress; I’d rather they occurred on weeks where I don’t have a major epic run planned. I accepted my fate on Wednesday and agreed because at least I am only doing a 10k this weekend and its local and not that huge of a deal all things considered.

I was sore yesterday, like a decent amount of sore, but it pales in comparison to the sore I am feeling today. It hurts so badly to sit down or stand up. I do not want to bend over. I hurt. I am whining, yes I am aware of this, but it freaking is sore as hell. I think this is why I purposely avoid leg days as much as possible. I inevitably know they are coming and accept them, but boy its pain today. I am quite hoping that by tomorrow morning it is magically all good so that running 6.2 miles isn’t as horrible of a prospect as it seems this moment. I will get thru it because that’s what I do. And secretly I am quite the gluten for punishment as a part of me quite enjoys the torturous pain.  We did far too many leg presses, leg kick backs, leg extensions and squats for me to even being to count. And heavy weighted stuff. Thus the burning in my quads, hamstrings and ass.

I am thinking that I might go to the gym tonight and hit up some back, triceps and shoulders. Notice all things completely devoid of leg work. Might be good to get in a quick little 45-60 minute isolated targeted workout. Then home to shower and have a nice homemade healthy anniversary dinner with my husband. And of course to bed at a decent time so we can rise and run. I’d say rise and shine but as the shining part is probably not likely I will just settle for a rise and run!

Have a fabulous weekend everyone!!! Nothing like a gorgeous Oregon June weekend.