Life is crazy

Hello blog world. Anyone still out there?  A few people based on some numbers I see. It’s Friday and I feel really good… still… I guess it really is that post marathon high in full effect.  Guess what, I’ve totally converted Amanda into a runner. Hmm… she is training for the Vegas half next month and I keep getting cute little text messages from her about running and feeling good and loving carbs.  The thing is, bodybuilding and doing those shows has totally fucked up her body. The high protein, low to no carb diet really screwed her up. Because, hello, our bodies need carbs for very real reasons. I will never do a low carb diet because not only does it make me angry it also messes with your body.  I truly believe everything needs to occur in some amounts of moderation.  I try and not like binge on the carbs unless it’s the day before a big run of course. Keeping it high protein/moderate carbs and low fat during the week.  But honestly it’s a good balance and I typically feel pretty good. Amanda has started to feel very shitty lately as a result of the diet. She went to a doctor who informed her that her diet was in fact causing too much strain on her body and she needed to eat carbs. No more high protein it was messing with her heart in a scary way. Seriously.

So there you have it. Eat your carbs my friends.  With that said, I have no problem carb binging when needed. I.E. post half or full marathon as the case may be.  I had a great workout last night but that makes 4 days in a row of workouts and honestly I am ready for rest day today. And rest day tomorrow as I embark on a secret mission.  In tribute to my 3 year weight loss anniversary that is occurring on Monday.  I can’t really celebrate Monday per say so instead I choose an athletic endeavor to tackle on Sunday.   There’s a secret mission going down Saturday.  I will post Saturday afternoon. In fact I may write the post and “schedule” it now.

I spent this morning writing my 3 year letter to myself from the future and its done. That will post on Monday, my official 3 year anniversary date.  It’s nice you can schedule a post out for the future.  I would share with you my top secret plan but I just have to make sure it all happens first before I post it.  That’s what the deal is. It’s not really a secret and I want to share but I need to be careful to make sure all the details happen first. I will know by tomorrow morning if everything is happening as it is supposed to happen.  I’m excited about it though.  It’s tough for me to keep secrets honestly, especially from this world, especially when it pertains to my fitness life.  But alas, better safe than sorry on some occasions.

But check back tomorrow afternoon if you are at all interested in what I’m talking about.  Of course I will also be posting it to Instagram and most likely Facebook the minute I am sure it’s all a go.  Anyhow. For right now I’m just gearing up as if this is going to happen on Sunday.  If your smart I’m sure you are figuring it all out anyway.  Because seriously, I am a go big or go home kind of gal. I’m kind of freight train you can’t stop, that undeniable force one I get the ball rolling in a certain direction. It’s one of my best and perhaps worst qualities all rolled into one.  Freight train Emily barreling through anything in her path.  In other words, I’m a total nut job.  But if you have ever read a word I’ve written in the past this is clearly evident.   Do it with passion or not as all.  Some people might call me a tid bit obsessive compulsive.

Anyhow, I feel really good physically after having been really healthy the past 4 days. It’s like with each passing my day my system got a little better and better.  It really needed the post vacation detox.  Seriously, did I mention that while I had a fantastic time in Maui, and don’t think I went particularly insane on the food overload, that even the amount that I did do caused havoc with my system.  Like I said, I wasn’t full on crazy with eating everything and anything. But the changes were enough to cause me throw up, constantly.  Like at night, my stomach just wasn’t used to crap grease and crap foods and crap alcohol.  Had a great time, also never puked more in a 10 day stretch in my life.  Believe me, none of it was on purpose. Between the heat and humidity and therefore dehydration and running a marathon and a stray from the foods I’m used to, my body just was acting of its own accord on the vomit front.

On a plus side, after 4 days detox and healthy nutrition I feel great.  I have not weighed myself. In fact I have not stepped on a scale since September 3. Basically when I weighed in at 134 something.  I am sure I am no longer 134 something. I am certain its up in the 140’s.  But I don’t really care honestly. It was never about a number for me. EVER.  Well, okay at many points in my life it was about a number. But not the past 2 years anyway.  My plan is still in full effect which is just eat clean, be healthy, do good and then my body will follow suit. I am 100% certain that I am this happy  right now because I have no idea what that number on the scale is.  Like suddenly if I saw 142 actually I’d feel like a failure. Although I would be absolutely no different than I am this second when I look in the mirror and love my body just as it is.  I just think mentally I can trick my brain into thinking maybe I’m really like 136 or 138. The illusion that I am still in the 130’s is enough to keep me happy.  So why fuck with that right?  Truthfully anything between 135-145 is going to be more than acceptable.  That is the range I want to live my life at. Although if I never get on a scale none of that matters.  It’s a better way to live honestly.  I will know when or if I’m gaining weight or losing based on my clothes that I’ve been wearing and still wear right now.  That is a better indicator anyway.

My mind keeps spinning with ideas. Future plan ideas.  I have not and I suspect will not settle on anything in particular for some time.  I still have time.  In the mean time I will just keep going forward with the stuff that is already in the words for myself.  I’ve got a couple more half marathons still on the books for this year and some fun family time 5k’s to do.  I am giving myself the rest of 2015 to figure out the next big thing in my life. Maybe it will come to be in a lightbulb moment, maybe it won’t.  Either way, in the meantime, I just keep doing what I’m doing.

I’m wondering if I shouldn’t start some sort of “family” boot camp. Ha Ha. Kind of joking, kind of not.  Like I have pretty much decided that I have everything it takes to be my own personal trainer. Really I do. And I could work out plans and actually train my family.  I could stand there and put them thru the ringer.  I kind of get personal satisfaction out of helping people I love.  I’d totally do it. We shall see.  I also purchased a book from amazon last night, should be here tomorrow,  Racing Weight: How to get lean for peak performance.  So maybe that’s where my brain is starting to shift right now. Like how do I get faster or better at running. I always used to say simply finishing was enough for me. That I didn’t care about time. And I really don’t.  But once you’ve tackled the distances maybe now I’m curious how to improve my performance. Perhaps listening to the advice of people who have been there, done that, can actually create improvements in my running.  I still am not time focused but I think it’s more about a feeling. I want to feel good and strong and kickass longer during a run. So yes, peak performance.  I am going to read the book and think it sounds interesting.

I have solidified in my mind at this point that I am a runner.  That is where my heart and focus and energies lye. Everything else is in pursuit of and to better my running.  I love lifting weights and will stand by the importance of it and the changes it has made to my body AND my running.  It is vital and I will never give that up.  However, it is now in pursuit of improving my running.  I think running the marathon has pushed me over the top into the next level of running.  Like I have always had a hard time identifying myself as a runner. Even running 44 half marathons it was still sometimes like I didn’t accept that reality.  It was the monkey on my back. Like I wasn’t a real runner until I’ve done a marathon.  It’s like in crossing that threshold I have crossed my imaginary line into true runner. It’s game on from here on out. Yes obsessive compulsive much.

We will see how it all plays out. Of course I have said those words before I know I have and somehow it all seem to eventually work itself out.  It does.  I always find something.  I swear my body is making up for its first 25 years of inactivity.  I can’t seem to sit still anyway. I am too excited about what is next for me.  I should try and slow down a bit to enjoy the moments as they are happening though.

Life is crazy precious and it can be taken from you in a blink of an eye. (Ah ha, horrific shooting that occurred yesterday in Oregon) Way to close to home for my liking.  So I vow to not take it for granted or waste away the precious gift of life. And in that pursuit check back tomorrow afternoon for a very special 3 year weight loss anniversary announcement.