What Goes Up Must Come Down

I had been formulating this amazingly epic post and story of my San Francisco run all weekend long. Actually I was formulating moment by moment as I was running. True story, as I ran each step thoughts would pop into my mind of how I’d write out the most amazing expos on the run, turn by turn and it would be my running masterpiece. My piece d resistance in terms of running narrative. This plan would have been perfection if I had not arrived to the office today to be greeted to what can only equate to a work nightmare and it sucked all of the wind out of my sails. Nonetheless, here is what I could compose.


San Francisco.

The day prior to race day we walked around a lot, because without a car, we walk. The expo center where packet pick up was held was about a half mile from our hotel so we walked there, and then around and around some more. Did I mention I was in heeled boots? Perhaps not the best choice. The problem was we got in to the hotel too early to check in officially so we just left our luggage there and I didn’t really think about it and before we knew it we were off and walking with the clothes we wore on the plane. I realized after the fact that the boots were a poor decision, but I managed thru. As we walked around by the bay it was stupidly windy. Like a wind factor I had never anticipated and we found ourselves wondering if running by the bay and across the bridge would produce this wind as well. A factor I never considered. Alas, in the end, it did not end up being that windy, thank goodness. But it was concern. We had an early pasta dinner, totally carbo loaded and then headed to bed to wake up at 4:15 AM.

Yup, the day of the race we awoke and since I did actually sleep well, I was pretty ready to go. Of course I was nervous. I was really nervous. I knew there would be hills. Walking around San Francisco for a day prior made me realize the extent of the hill situation in the area. Of course not every street is a giant climb but it made me nervous for what I would be facing. I was also afraid it would be cold and windy. I was preparing for a bone chilling cold as I walked out of the hotel in the dark at about 5:00 AM. I was pleasantly surprised to find that while a little chilly it was not that bad. The weather Gods were shining upon us. We had to walk about a quarter of a mile or so to the finish line where they were providing a shuttle to the race start. There were literally thousands of runners lining up for buses to be shuttled. It was pretty cool to see this giant coordinated effort in action. I can only imagine the magnitude of such an endeavor and the costs associated with it.

The start line was actually at Golden Gate Park Ocean beach. In the time we were waiting pre start the sun was just starting to come up and it was beautiful. I kept having to suppress my nerves. Mixed with some tightness in my left leg as a result of too much walking in boots the previous day. Why do I do this to myself? But alas, I readied my music, my runkeeper app, my Garmin watch and waited for our group of runners to be released. Rock and Roll’s release runners in groups based on like projected finishing times. As we inched closer to the start I had to let it all go and remind myself that these are the experiences I am living for, and to just have fun.

As soon as they finally said go and there was the early morning sunlight I looked over to my left and saw the gorgeous ocean, I smiled. This was it. The moment right here where I am living this amazing once impossible dream. Of course the starts of runs with thousands and thousands of runners are hard because you are kind of forced to run in this heard at whatever speed is occurring. Breaking free of the pact is near impossible. But the moment I started running I actually felt amazing. The first whole two tenths of a mile were blissful and I felt great. I was freaking running in San Francisco. We ran about a quarter of a mile and made a sharp right hand turn and wham, like a ton of bricks you see ahead and there in you see a GIANT hill. And I couldn’t help but smile and awkwardly laugh at the same time. A whole quarter mile until we were greeted with what we all knew would be the extent of the San Francisco run. Oh well I thought as I decided to just run my best race possible. So I ran up the hill and just decided to live in the moment.

Tons of things run thru your head in the course of 2 and a half hours while running. Your emotions and thoughts are all over the place. That is the epic battle of a run. It is with your mind every bit as much as your body. I conquered the first hill and then it was okay until about the first mile. From there on out the next couple miles will be a constant stream of up and down rolling hills, with definitely more up than down. One of the most scenic parts of the run occurred in the first 3 miles. We were diverted thru what was amazing gorgeous neighborhoods of architecturally stunning row houses. I could not help but smile ear to ear. I had one of those profound moments that running constantly gives me where I stop, look around and cannot believe for the life of me that this is what I am actually doing this. That here I am, in San Francisco, running thru this gorgeous neighborhood. Who the hell am I? Who is this girl? And it was right smack dab in the middle of this blissful moment, seriously just as I passed mile 2 that a nice man standing on the side of the road in front of one of those gorgeous houses held out his hand and gave me a high five and said directly to me, “Great job. You are amazing.” And as I passed him I literally think tears were streaming down my face. I wiped them up because in that single moment every single thing that I love about this was real and happening. This was my moment. This was me living my life. This is what I have spent my whole life searching for, this feeling. This delightful freedom that running gives me.

If ever there was a moment in running that will stick with me, it is that exact moment. That man, having no clue what that meant, on that gorgeous street in San Francisco. In that moment I literally said to myself, this is it; this is the moment where it is all worth it. I don’t care what comes next, this moment is priceless. Perfection.

I let my music and my thoughts carry me thru or rather up the hills that were endured and while they were manageable thus far shortly after crossing the 5k mark we were greeted to a sign that read, “Now it’s time to earn your view.” I shook my head and smiled because clearly I knew that could only mean one thing as I looked up ahead and saw another ridiculously giant hill. Yup, up we were traveling. I should also mention that this race in particular seemed to be really hard to navigate with the cluster of people. I constantly felt like I was in a game of frogger, with people being the cars. In and out, weave out and around. Can I go now? Will I make it? Fun times.

The hill was miserable, but then we reached the top and there was that view they were referring to, the Golden Gate Bridge off to the left. And I’m not even going to pretend that I wasn’t an emotional baby. The first time I literally laid my eyes on the Golden Gate Bridge I felt giant tear balls well up in my eyes. This was the whole reason I was here anyway, or rather, for this experience that was just about to happen. I wasn’t even at the freaking bridge yet and I was struggling to stay composed. It was gorgeous. The weather was amazingly perfect. The stars and the moons were aligning to produce this magical happiness.

We rounded about mile 4 and I was on the edge of the Golden Gate Bridge. I kept telling myself to try and enjoy this experience, and to look around and take it all in. To look up as much as possible and just enjoy. Of course this was much easier said than done because as expected all of those people compressed onto a seemingly small running path made for utter congestion. It is approximately a 2 mile distance from one side of the bridge to the other and then of course back. Miles 4-8 were spent running the bridge. These are typically my “best”, most in the groove running miles and I felt amazing and good and I wanted to run, but alas the horrible game of frogger played out in the worst kind of way on the bridge. You literally could barely move anywhere, forced to simply go with the flow of traffic. There was not much that could be done about that. All I could ultimately do is simply enjoy the experience, in all of its glory.

When I got to the end of the bridge and turned around to run back I hugged the left hand side of the bridge. At some point I could look down and see in the tiny gap between the road and the side the water below me. It was really cool. It was an unbelievable experience to know that I ran that whole bridge. Later on in the trip when I stepped back and looked at the entire bridge as whole I had to shake my head because I ran that entire thing, there and back. Seriously epic. As of this day in time, I’ve never driven across the golden gate bridge, but instead I ran across it, literally in a driving lane. Can’t get much cooler for your first time in San Francisco than that? Also did you know the bridge is kind of built on a curve and thus there are small gradual inclines on the bridge as well. I mean, I thought they only built straight bridges, but I was wrong. It wasn’t bad mind you; totally more manageable than plenty of other points along the course, but just interesting to me that parts of it seemed like a climb.

Anyway, after finally exiting the bridge and living one of the coolest things I’ve ever done, we had a 3 mile relatively flat run. Probably the flattest easiest part of the whole run. But it was getting warm at this point and all the extra hill work was dehydrating me more than I expected and right before mile 10 I felt very nauseous. My stomach was growling at me, I was hungry and I was thirsty and therefore my body wanted to throw up. And then I saw the aide station and I ran directly towards it. It was Gue gel and Gatorade and I chugged it down and thought it was a godsend that I was praying for some nourishment at that exact moment and there it was.

I read something recently that said experts agree that mile 10 is the halfway point in effort of a half marathon. That the last 3.1 miles require the same amount of effort as you put in the first 10 and I pretty much agree with this sentiment. The last 3.1 are all mental. I was thru about mile 11 just plugging along, knowing full well that the last 2.1 miles were some of the biggest hills on the entire course. I turned the corner and there was a giant freaking hill. I walked. The thing is, walking fast and trying to jog up a hill like that are pretty much the same effort. Rather save the little precious energy I have left. When I’d reach the top of a hill I’d be grateful and then was pretty much always greeted to a new hill. In order to get back into the city and the finish line there were few routes that would not produce giant hills. And so the last 1.75 miles were walked/feigned attempts to jog up the hills of Polk Street in San Francisco. I knew I was close to the end and I knew that I just had to push thru a little more. My Garmin was reading 12.7 miles and FINALLY the ground leveled out and I started actually running. Like a real run and I was happy because clearly I was close to the finish now.

I looked up ahead and in the distance on a straight-away path I saw the finish line and once again on this journey I had to fight back the tears. The holy shit, I did it, I am almost done tears. I just completed one of the most epic runs of my life, thru REALLY rough terrain and there is the finish line. I sprinted. I am sure this looked like a pitiful jog to bystanders, but in my mind I was sprinting like my life depending on it towards my goal. Spectators on the sides, cheering me on, cheering the people around me on, it didn’t matter, I was almost done. And I crossed the line. I had done it. 2 hours 30 minutes and a few seconds. I was done. Not super crazy fast, but not too awful considering the difficulty of those never ending hills. None of that mattered in that moment because I was done! They placed that medal around my neck and I could have burst into tears. It might have been exhaustion as well, but it didn’t matter. I FINISHED!

In a daze, in a high, in a heat induced blur I made the epic walk thru the finisher’s row, where vendors hand you post-race recovery products. Chocolate milk, water, Gatorade, cheese-its, bananas, pistachios, power bars, on and on and on. My hands end up so full with product that I can’t actually stop and drink anything. It’s pretty cool though, because you feel kind of like a rock star for a few minutes in time. Crazy enough, the person who “won” this race ran it in an hour and 9 minutes. I’m like are you freaking kidding me, hills and all, 1:09… INSANE. Of course they were in the front and didn’t have to fight thru the bridge people congestion or play frogger for 8 plus miles. But it’s cool. Running has never been about the time for me, it’s always about the experience and the mental clarity that comes for me. Living my best possible life.

The high afterwards is beyond compare. The lifetime of knowing that I have done that is beyond priceless. Getting to spend the rest of my life knowing that I ran across the Golden Gate Bridge, nothing can ever take that away from me, I did that! That is incredibly priceless. That is something that years from now I will never regret. This is why I run. There has never been anything else in my life that makes me feel as alive as those moments while doing something that I know is hard but pushing thru and finishing. There is nothing that has ever made me feel as alive and happy. In those painful moments, in those happy moments, the happiness I feel is beyond compare.

And I run, and I will continue to run, because I a am making up for all the lost time, all the years I spent actually believing that I was not capable of doing so. All the years where I wanted to run races but stood in my own way. All of the joy and happiness I was responsible for depriving myself. I will run because it makes me feel alive. San Francisco was dang tough, but in the end, I was just a little bit tougher…. :)