The journey has only just begun

So I realize it has been far too long since I posted anything here. I keep meaning too but the truth is I have been incredibly busy at work the last 2 weeks and I don’t even seem to have a moment to breathe yet along compose a post. And the few moments I do have of free time I have other things that I need to do. It happens. Doesn’t mean I’ve disappeared or fallen off the wagon or anything. Just means I sometimes am a busy girl. Such is life.

Basically I have been contemplating a game plan the last week and a half. You know I get these crazy ideas in my brain and then decide to just run with them. That’s pretty much how I work. I got this crazy idea and have spent the last week thinking about it and researching the feasibility of it and I think I might finally be ready to officially put it out there. Once I say it out loud on this blog I feel obligated to follow thru so I really wanted to make sure that it was happening before I fully committed to it, but the bottom line is this. I have made the decision that in 2014 I am going to run 14 half marathons. Yup, it’s my 14 in 14 challenge. This might be a bit ambitious for a girl who has only run 3 half’s previously in her life but what the heck, I kind of set my mind to something and go for it.

With all that said, somewhere in the last week I ended up signing up for this local ½ on Saturday. I am running in some cold which is not my favorite, but I will run another half nonetheless. That will make 2 of the 14 done which is nice. And then while researching what races and putting together an overall picture of the 2014 calendar I stumbled across a race in a couple weeks, February 23 in Vancouver, WA, which is pretty much Portland that I can do. So tomorrow I will sign up for that. I say tomorrow because that is when I get paid and boy these races start to add up. Something else might have already happened as well… it’s possible I presently have airfare booked and a hotel reservation made for April 5-7, 2014 to go to San Francisco to run another Rock and Roll ½ marathon. I have not officially registered for the race. That will come tomorrow on payday as well. I have to space this stuff out a bit you see. So tomorrow I will register for said race and then it will become official and all. It is pretty much official given airfare is booked, etc. I am slightly crazy. Wait, crazy is not the right word. I am impulsive. That is the correct word. I impulsively make decisions. I decide I want to do something and I just do it. This all coming from a girl who doesn’t actually run that much in her “off” time.

I might have a slight obsession with medals. I might love my medals more than I love a lot of things in my life. Who knew that a shiny medal would mean so much to me…? I don’t actually think it’s the medal itself obviously; it’s the physical symbol of everything it stands for. It’s the symbol of the effort and life changing that has occurred in me. It is a physical representation, something I can look at and hold in the palm of my hand that shows me how much I have changed, how far I have come in my life. It makes me happier than most things in my life. So I run for medals. But I run because it symbolizes the grit, strength and determination I have to not only change my life, but stay on this path for the rest of my life. I don’t ever want to go back and this is the surest way I know to not go backwards. These are the steps that I never previously took.

When we think about things that keep us going or the goals that we have to set to progress and work towards this is EXACTLY the kind of motivation I need to stay focused and happy in my life. 14 new shiny medals but more importantly, 14 unique experiences, countless memories and the self-worth that comes from accomplishing goals that you set for yourself. So 2014 will bring 14 half marathons. I will do this, because like anything else in my life that I really decide to do, I will make sure it happens. I do not doubt myself in the least. I think it’s probably going to be epically hard. I think there will be times when I want to give up and abandon ship, but in the end I am sure it will be worth all the hard work. At the end of the year, when I see all my medals and reflect upon my accomplishment I think it is going to be one of the coolest things I have ever done.

In the middle of my year of strength, I am going to run races, get my medals and build my self-confidence. I just think that’s damned cool. I have a tentative schedule outlined, but I have not officially signed up for most of the races yet so I am not lying out too many details just yet. As soon as things are firmed up I will share my plans. This is the plan in a nutshell to date. I already ran my first one in Arizona. 2nd one is Saturday. 3rd one will be Feb. 23 in Vancouver. 4th one is San Francisco Rock and Roll. Then I have a bunch of races in between there #5-#13 will happen in the area. Included in there is the Portland Rock and Roll and the Seattle Rock and Roll. I am really looking at a 4th of July race in Portland that looks awesome as well as a cool Easter race in April. I have a few I’m eying at this point. The only other plan is that #14, the final race of 2014 is going to take me to the place this all started, it will be Las Vegas Rock and Roll, running the strip at night. What a cool way to finish the running year, in Las Vegas running the strip again. The place where it really all began. So that is the plan. Seems do-able in theory. But we’ve got a long way to go to get to that place. And let’s not forget that each of these requires running 13.1 miles. I tend to overlook the reality of how taxing that is on a person’s body. It’s not always peaches and creams. It’s a significant distance that leaves you tired.

I think in order to get thru the runs I almost have to block them out beforehand and go, yup, I can run that and then not think about it. Survival by denial. Like the reality that Saturday morning I’m getting up and running another one. Survival by denial. I am however making it a game to collect the medals. Go. Run. Pass the finish line, collect my medal. Next. I am impulsive and crazy all rolled into one. But when I set my mind to something I accomplish it. So aside from my year of strength I might have to revise it to the year of strength with a side of half. As in half marathons. I don’t imagine at any other point in my life I will so adamantly persue so many half marathons in a single year. But the newness is there and with it comes the excitement.

I am obviously constantly evolving into the woman that I am, day by day. So based on my plans above you can plainly see that means that 2014 will include mini vacations to Arizona (done), San Francisco, Seattle and Las Vegas. I can live with this. Exciting times. This is the stuff that makes life worth living. That amazing feeling of accomplishment. The fear yes, but the excitement of doing something epic. I will get to run across the Golden Gate Bridge. Much like the Vegas strip, that is a memory that will be epic in nature and will live near and dear to my heart. I am running across the freaking Golden Gate Bridge!!!! I am floored. These are the things that you only quietly think about and ultimately suppress when you are overweight and don’t love yourself. You could not really ever imagine doing something like that. But why the hell not you? Why not me? I am starting to learn that no matter what just showing up and attempting the battle is the most important part. Every single time I do something that takes me out of my comfort zone I get a little bit more confident and comfortable. It’s an epic feeling all around.

Dreams and goals don’t just belong to other people. They don’t belong to the super fit, or the super gorgeous or the super wealthy or the super anything. They are for every single person. No dream may be the exact same, but if it’s your dream it’s worth going after. I am never happier or more alive than when I am in the middle of chasing my goals and dreams. I have learned that about myself. I thrive on goals. I guess the take away is that I always need to have something on the horizon, something on the agenda to work towards. Something in the back of my mind to challenge me and ultimately change me. I am ready!

I promise you this, after I run Las Vegas next year, my 14th in 2014, I will take a picture wearing all of my medals obtained in the year and post it here. This is a promise I make today. I will be rocking tons of medals and that is going to be a happy proud moment. I am fully expecting tears during my Vegas 2014 run, as it is the conclusion to a yearlong quest that I am going to accomplish. Mark my words, it’s going to happen.

Wow, my thirties are so much cooler than my twenties!!!! My twenties pale in comparison to the love I have for life now that I am in my thirties. In approximately 4 months I will turn 35 years old and be in the middle of my quest for 14 in 14 and I am happier than I’ve ever been in my entire life. I feel like that little missing piece of my life is starting to come into place. I feel fulfilled and satisfied with myself. It’s called self-love and self-acceptance and has taken a damned long time to find. And it has very little to do with how I look. I love the evolution of myself, of this entire process. It isn’t about the mirror or a scale. It’s about much more important things like setting and achieving goals and living my life. It’s about exploring the world around me. It’s about taking meaningful healthy trips to do awesome things like run across the Golden Gate Bridge. This is how I was always supposed to live my life. I know that. I believe that in my heart.

Life is supposed to be amazing. It’s your responsibility really to create your own definition of amazing. This is mine. I have known true happiness and that is a total blessing to me. To finally feel like I know what it’s like to love fully and get the most out of my life. Clearly I’m in a good mood today!

So stay tuned my friends, the journey has only just begun.