Slowly but surely my mood is stabilizing and normalcy is returning to my brain. That is the good news. After reflection yesterday on the whole menu food plan and a couple comments from my favorite ladies I wonder if it’s totally a great idea for me or not. I think that I am going to pseudo do it once I return next week. I will attempt to do it, but I will listen to my body as well. After all, I really am not trying to be a fitness model or anything. What is more important is health and wellness and if at times that involves eating a dessert or more calories than recommended that is okay as well.
I just spent some time talking to my older sister about this whole concept of clean eating/living. She is struggling with depression and other issues. Her psychiatrist recommended that she go to a homeopathic doctor. Basically he told her that her mind cannot heal until she physically heals her body. It’s an interesting thing that the doctors are making this clear and obvious correlation. I have really come to fully understand the amazing correlation between the two. We pump our bodies full of processed chemicals and toxins and crap and then we physically feel ill and in turn our brains can never actually be happy when we are in physical duress. She met with the doctor today for two hours discussing stuff. I am so proud of her for even thinking about these changes. It obviously gets me thinking about despite thinking I eat pretty clean, the reality is that I am still utterly addicted to sugars and processed crap. I have cleaned it up a ton in the past year plus but my body still literally craves crap. I think this is normal and I always say you have to live your life but perhaps it’s also okay to try and eat cleaner and not have those cravings as well.
As we age, as my older sister ages and my mom ages and we all mature the reality of physical health becomes more and more important. None of us are predestined to naturally thin healthy bodies. Either physically or mentally. My sisters and I come from both sides of family having health and mental issues. We have to fight to find health and wellness in our lives. If left to our own accord we will all naturally find ourselves large and unhappy. It’s so sad, but the honest to God truth. I think it’s entirely possible and true that you find heavier people who are in great physical and mental health. By no means am I implying that they are mutually exclusive. What I am saying is that for me and my family when we find ourselves overweight we all are not healthy. We are eating drive thru crap food and feeling sick and full of pain and of course our mental states go ape shit haywire as well. I have to fight every single day to find that balance of the physical and mental wellness.
I guess the discussion that we had made me think that perhaps that while I am so much healthier than I have ever been and am in great physical shape that I know I am still addicted to processed crap. I have withdrawals if I go to long without it and that is not good at all. It wouldn’t hurt me to try and attempt some better clean eating and just see if I actually notice a physical difference and feel better. While Amanda’s plan seems boring and limiting, perhaps after I get thru the first few days of detox it will actually be more than enough and I will feel better than ever. That’s what people say anyway, that true clean eating makes you feel amazing. I am not 100% committing to it, but I am committing to listening to my body and seeing. In the end I have to remember that all of this starts with the concept of being healthy and pain free. It’s because I want a rich and full and rewarding life. That is all I’ve ever wanted.
I don’t want to wake up one day at 40 something years old and find myself with a myriad of health issues that were totally preventable had I taken care of myself. We all know that our bodies fail all by themselves as we age therefore there is no reason to put extra additional stress on them if we can help it. If eating a little better adds some health to my life then I should probably at least give it a shot. I tend to try to run away from the things that scare me, we all do that by nature, and instead I should practice what I preach and do the things that scare me. I promise to listen to my body first and foremost. I have become in tune enough with it to know when I really need to eat and not deprive myself. Perhaps I will simply start by eating when I am hungry and just eat more of the approved foods instead of candy and crap. Persistence not perfection. I have to be honest I am not looking to be perfect but I would like to overall improve my eating. I honestly know I could do much better in that area. Like eat an apple or banana for a snack instead of processed crap. Those are the baby steps that I need to be taking to ensure a nice long happy healthy life.
Speaking of a nice long happy life, Saturday morning I wake up early to get on a plane to go to Arizona. I have never been to Arizona. I have never been down south at all. I’ve been to Disneyland and Vegas not sure which is farther South but that’s as far as I’ve gotten. I’m pretty excited to go somewhere new. And of the course the weather forecast looks amazing. I’m very excited about that. I get to wear tank tops outside again. It is just going to make me sad to come back to Oregon next Monday though. Wishing for spring weather already. I love the sun. I’m pretty nervous about running actually. 13.1 miles is actually a lot. And I haven’t been running. I ran last night. For the first time in ages I ran for an hour plus. Just a little over an hour. I ran 6.5 miles so about half the distance I am going to run this weekend. It was hard. Ha Ha. Harder than I wanted. In all fairness I had taken a 30 minute class prior to running, but it was still harder than I wanted. And it reminded me that I need to run more often than I have been. But I will get thru this half because I want my medals. Yup, I am medal driven. I think it’s something like our body achieves what our mind believes. I have never for a second doubted that I would and could do this. Now to convince my body that we got this! I might have to slow down my pace a little to carry me thru but that’s okay with me. This one truly is just about finishing the thing.
Tonight I have personal training and then class. Amanda informed me that we would be doing a HIIT training style workout tonight. Those are killer. High Intensity Interval Training is what that stands for. Basically its ridiculous amounts of work for 30 seconds or so with a 10 second break. It pretty much fries the fuck out of me. Something along the lines of those stupid ropes you have to slam up and down and then something about a giant tire. You know dragging a giant tire across the gym. That is scary especially considering how freakishly populated the gym has been as of late. Lots of eyes to watch me sputter and want to quit. I told Amanda be prepared for me to pass out or throw up. And also for the sweat session that will surely ensure almost instantly. I guess this shit is good for my heart or something!
Lastly, I kind of have a sick addiction to the song “The Story of my life” by One Direction. I can’t believe I have ever downloaded a One Direction song, but honestly I adore it and I just listen to it over and over. Disturbing times. Well we now officially over half way thru the day which puts us over halfway thru the week. That is exciting times. Soon I get to go on a plane and I’m kind of becoming obsessed with travelling. Not that I can really afford much of it, but boy it’s fun to go places. Saturday…
3 comments:
I like your thoughts and approach to the eating plan. Here are some thoughts: It doesn't have to be that boring. For example, you could do a grilled chicken breast with a really good fresh salsa on the side and some grilled veggies. I haven't found a good fresh salsa that I like at the grocery store, so I go to a restaurant that has awesome salsa and I buy it there! So much better than jarred salsa since it is just veggies chopped up... nothing added. You can also marinate prawns and grill them... so yummy! Also, for the salad, I use red wine vinegar as dressing and it is awesome...and basically NO calories.
I would make sure that you are not forcing yourself to eat food that you don't like. If you don't like something on the list ask her for some substitutes (for example, I am not really a fan of rice cakes and wouldn't want to eat those every day).
Also, make sure you plan at least one cheat meal a week. :)
I am glad you are feeling better!!
Theresa
I have read some articles that suggest focusing on adding in the good things vs. always just taking away things. So if you want to eat less processed food, just try to add some more fruits and vegetables to your meals and maybe you won't be as hungry for the other stuff.
Or maybe making goals of trying some new recipe occasionally or trying a new fruit/vegetable. It's a change in focus of adding the good stuff and not always just about what you can't eat or "shouldn't" eat.
To me that sounds a lot more appealing than taking away everything! I don't want a world without the occasional cupcake:)
Girl, you need to read Tosca Reno's Eat Clean Recharged book! She did a bodybuilding competition at like age50! She has a hardcore plan for competing, then a weightloss plan, then more of a maintenance plan. The food is way less boring than the trainer plan. Looks almost identical to the plan my trainer tried to get me to do, but I told her it would send me into a crazy dieting tailspin. Some of us just are nt cut out for so many restrictions!
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