Saturday I got up and went to 9 AM Turbo kick at the gym. Nice way to instantly wake up I’d say. An hour of sweat dripping cardio is always nice and then I headed over to weight land where I proceeded to spend the next hour, hour and a half lifting heavy shit. I adore lifting. I find it amazing that about 5 months ago I would have told you no way, I won’t love it. But, like all other things in my life, once I really give it a try, my addictive personality takes over. But I am hardcore in love. I am probably hardcore in love because I see the physical changes in my body and I know it’s a direct result of the weight lifting/strength training. It just motivates me to go more.
After my morning gym session I was a free woman and I took full advantage of said freedom. I went to the mall by myself and window shopped for a while. I got a few things that I needed also :) Then I headed to Toys R Us, because they sent me a coupon for $10 off a $10 purchase, so basically a free $10 that expired this weekend. How do I not go and get an almost free toy for my kiddos? It was crazy busy in there and I can tell that the holiday season is already upon us. It also made me very glad I don’t actually have any kids of my own. I can’t imagine trying to take kids into Toys R Us. What a nightmare. Then I went to Big Lots where I walked around, got a few things and somehow totally found myself in the holiday/ Christmas mood. I adore Christmas. Always have. I love the family bonding, the holiday feel good season. Yes, I love giving presents but mostly it’s about the togetherness of the family and the love. I am a sucker for all things Christmas. Seriously, can’t wait. I bought candy canes. Is it too early? Nope. I don’t think so. I bought Star Wars and Disney Candy canes. Because they were adorable and amazing and I am overly excited. There you have it. I want it to be Christmas already.
After that I had a nail appointment. Yes, it really was a day of me. I needed a nail fill before Vegas this weekend and since my week nights shall be limited I had to get it in over the weekend. Truly do love my girly time.
Sunday I slept in which felt amazing. Then I made protein pancakes. I rarely cook and its hard pressed to saying making pancakes is really cooking but it’s about as domestic as I get. It’s a pre-made mix. They are literally called Protein Pancakes. They are delicious. I love them. They taste like regular old pancakes but have lots of protein in them. I got dressed in workout clothes but knew it would be hours before I actually worked out. Normally on a Sunday I would head to the gym about 1 and get in my workout, BUT I am branching out my friends and actually being more social which is entirely an odd concept for me. My trainer friend Amanda at the gym works out on Sunday evenings with two other girls at the gym that I know and am friendly with. The three of them workout together at 4 PM. Last weekend they posted a pic on Facebook after their workout and I commented that they need to invite me next time and so they did. I guess they work out every Sunday and now I am invited :)
Anyway, I went to the gym about 3:30 and did a little on my own and awaited their arrival. I was nervous, not being an overly social girl and all but the 3 of them showed up and honestly it was nice. It was nice to talk to other like-minded people. It was nice to be social. Go figure. We started with a 45 minute treadmill run. I knew I had that one handled. And I did. I have to say that after 45 minutes I felt great and fine and like I could keep going whereas all the other girls were DONE. I knew I could handle my business on a treadmill. But don’t worry I got my ass kicked a little on some weights. But for the most part we are all pretty evenly matched which makes us great workout partners. Anyway, we headed to the weights and we did shoulders. Amanda, the trainer, led the exercises and had us doing these crazy arm moves. And then we did bicep curls. Let me tell you something. I usually pick up the 30 pound barbell for bicep curls. I do about 15 of them and rest. I can do multiple sets of 30 pound curls but I don’t go much beyond that.
This crazy woman put down 70 pounds, 60 pounds, 50 pounds, 40 pounds in a row. We were going to do decline curls. Meaning we had a spotter to help us get the barbell up but then we did 10 reps of 70, 10 of 60, 10 of 50 and then finished out to exhaustion on the 40’s. Shockingly I did it. It was HARD as hell, but I did it. I fucking bicep curled 70 pounds. CRAZY!!! Crazy hard. But it was fun. We were all in the same boat so it kind of pushes us on.
I didn’t realize that I would get such a feeling of togetherness with working out with similar people. It’s like I got to talk to people who cared about the same things and were interested in discussing weight and health and I was in heaven. The people in my real life don’t generally want to talk about it so it was so nice. I actually was smiling and having fun and was completely in my element. I loved every minute of it actually. I seriously was thinking to myself, this is what it’s like to have friends and do things with them. Clearly I missed the boat at some point in my life on the whole friendship thing.
After we did multiple cycles of shoulders and biceps we did abs. I honestly felt like I got a great workout, a personal training type workout without paying for it, but I also got more than that, I felt like these girls were my friends. I understand the bonding process and it just happened. I couldn’t stop smiling and feeling like I belonged which is just such a foreign concept to me. I would definitely do that again and again. Of course next Sunday I will be in Vegas, but I have every intention of doing that again after that. I see how this friendship thing and this gym thing really works now and I am so in love. I could get used to this feeling of belonging. I kind of get it now.
I then came home and showered and then took some new photos. I am kind of obsessed with the progress I am actually feeling in my body the last couple weeks. Things are starting to literally feel tighter. I have this idea that I know logically that I can’t undo all the damage from gaining/losing weight over and over. I don’t think it’s possible for everything to tighten up the way I want it to, but then I kind of go, fuck all that logical and go with your heart. My heart says I WANT to do this. My heart says I CAN do this. My heart says I AM going to do this. I am going to defy all the fucking odds and become the girl I want to be. That confident, happy girl. Yes, physically I am going to be strong but more than that I am going to be mentally strong. I already feel the confidence soaring. It’s been such a great mental change that I can’t even express in words what it feels like to truly change your inside so much.
I have my moments of setback. We all do. But mostly I just keep living the concept of I can do this. I can be the person I want to be, because why not? Why not me? So with that in mind. I’ve been collecting bikini photos over time for comparison pics. And last night after taking some new ones I saw such a huge difference that I had to finally share. I am just going to keep this photo collage going and some day will add new ones where hopefully I look even better but I’m not upset by how I look now. I mean, I feel like I look like I could go out on a beach and be okay being seen in public. I honestly even like my boobs better these days. Yes, they are small but they kind of fit my body and frame and yes, they are saggy and there is issue to be addressed there but hell they don’t look that bad anyway min a bikini. There is less volume so they don’t need to be pushed up quite the same way anymore either.
Tonight is just a quick gym night. ½ hour of cardio interval training with Amanda and then ½ hour of Turbo kick. Then I have to change and head to therapy. Guess it’s mostly cardio tonight for me. That’s okay. Tomorrow I will hit the strength training again.
So here are the photos.
3 comments:
I Love the series of pics! Such great progress! It has always surprised me that you don't have a ton of friends in real life. I think it is probably because you had your sisters, so you always had them as your friends and didn't really need to venture outside of them... plus, you probably had your insecurities that kept you from making friends in real life. I love that you are spending time with the girls at the gym and I think it would be awesome if you spent time with them doing other things outside of the gym too! You are doing so great!!!
Theresa
Amazing progress!
That's great that you found some like minded people and are enjoying a sense of connection.
It's something I have been missing lately and I have been trying to figure out how to get that sense of connection again.
Can't wait to hear your stories from Vegas next week!
Your stomach looks incredible and ripped-incredible Emily.
Post a Comment