Exhausted

Today is Thursday already. Wow, November is simply flying by as it is now the 14th. We are pretty much almost halfway thru the month. I think this is a classic example of you need to be careful what you wish for because I think at this rate Christmas is going to be here before I really even want it. And that is saying a lot. Tomorrow, after work, I leave for Vegas. Yes, can you believe it, it’s already Vegas time. I am most perplexed by this reality. Honestly I don’t feel prepared. I feel scared and nervous. I am not exactly sure why, but I just do. If I am being honest its slightly less about running 13.1 miles and more about running with that many people. THOUSANDS upon THOUSANDS of runners. This is where I have to channel that inner brave girl and repeat the mantra, that I am good enough. I do belong. I am just as worthy. I don’t know what it is exactly about such giant gatherings that bring out my insecurities. But I am working on it.

Every single time I step out of my comfort zone and do something that challenges me in some way I am working on it. That is what this weekend will be, a challenge, but a good one. Once again, I am not actually concerned with how fast I run the half. I really am not. It makes no difference to me if I run it in 2 hours 18 minutes or 2 hours 34 minutes. Whatever it is, it is. I will still have run the thing. Good enough for me. And I walk away with a shiny medal. Um, yes, I am swag bag motivated. Not shocking. I am looking forward to the running expo on Saturday where tons of vendors will be hawking their products no less, but it will still be fun.

Unfortunately the race is not 100% timed right with the concept of relaxation and enjoying oneself in Vegas. We get in late Friday night, like midnight. So obviously we sleep, and hopefully get to sleep in Saturday morning if my body will allow it. Then it’s off to the Expo. Saturday night I really can’t drink and need to get a good night’s rest because Sunday is my run. Of course it’s not until Sunday afternoon, but I really want to be in good shape so no indulging for me. Of course that means my only real night to drink is Sunday night but I fear I might be entirely exhausted from my run. I come home Monday night, late. And then back to work Tuesday morning. Should be interesting and tiring. I actually just see lots of tired in my future. I need to stop and try and remember that I wanted this. This is something I chose to do for fun. Oh yeah.

I have to say that I have been slightly off this week. Not sure what that is about. Nothing major. Just not 100% feeling like myself. Oh wait, it might be my period. I am sure that has some part in my emotional slight imbalance. I think I am getting to the tail end of it so all should be fine. For whatever reason I haven’t really felt like writing all that much which is rare for me as well. I think I’m going thru a phase and I guess that is okay. Just as long as I keep at my goals, etc., and am not slacking because I am messing crap up. I’m not.

Last night was personal training which was tough as usual. Some days I wonder why exactly I pay someone to torture me. It’s quite interesting. I really could torture myself all on my own. But there is something to be said about having to perform for a person that just makes you go that extra mile that you wouldn’t do all on your own. Last night I actually did a lot of crap at the gym.

Tonight I am going to do my 30 minute dumbbell fit class and then 60 minutes of iron power, my favorite class and then its straight home for me. I have an incredibly busy evening. I mean, I have to shower and then the fun of packing for Vegas begins. I HATE packing. I am just taking a carry on, no checked bags and yes, it’s daunting thinking about trying to fit it all into that little bag, but I must. Actually what’s more daunting is trying to figure out what clothes to bring, especially to accommodate weather I am unsure of. And then you have the packing the makeup bag and then moving stuff over to a smaller travel purse. It seems to never end :)

Maybe tomorrow, I will feel better and start to actually get excited instead of just feel exhausted thinking about how much I have to do. But on the bright side, after I complete my 1.5 hours of exercise tonight I am done unit 4 PM Sunday when I run a half marathon. That is an entire Friday, and Saturday exercise free and even part of a day on Sunday. That is more rest time than I’ve given myself in a long time. Hopefully it does the trick in giving me enough energy and enthusiasm to kick ass on my run on Sunday. I really need a vacation.... guess its a good thing I am getting on that plane tomorrow and will have a day or so to unwind before I run.

Just one more thing to note, I have been doing kick ass lately with drinking my water. Without realizing it I swear I am drinking almost 100 plus ounces a day with ease. Yeah, water…. That is all.