Feeling so inspired by my own bravery and excitement about what I can do in life, I impromptu-ly just took one of the biggest steps of my entire life. I googled races and then low and behold found myself entering my information and credit card number and now officially have done what I have talked about for so long, I have made the ultimate commitment. On September 22 this girl will become a half-marathoner. I will run a half marathon, outdoors, around a lake in Forrest Grove, OR. This girl who has only ever ran 1 5-k in her life years and years ago (like 5), will now by-pass the 5k, by-pass the 10k line and jump straight to half marathon. Holy shit.
I have 7 weeks to apparently attempt to run outside. Oh yeah, I don’t run outside do I? Nope. I have no illusion that running a half marathon outside will be easy. I have no illusion that I shall be able to maintain my 6.4 miles per hour pace outside with all the elements. I have no illusions period. My goal is to finish. I don’t really care about my time. I just want to run a half-marathon to say I have done it. I want the pretty half marathon necklace they give you at the end of this particular race, but more important I want the official recorded on paper acknowledging that I, Emily Canady, ran a half-marathon. Even if I have to walk from time to time, I will still finish a half marathon. And now it might be time to google training schedules or something like that. However, I am not actually that worried. I am not worried because I have now ran 13.1 miles in a row once and that knowledge will propel me thru. Now its time to take it outside on occasion and see what this girl is really made of. Weather and all.
Practice what you preach. Holy shit, I am just in shock. This is one of the proudest moments in my life actually. Finally realizing that I can do this and hitting submit on the online form. I won’t back down now, I can’t. I did it. I can only imagine the pride and satisfaction I am going to feel when I finish. I will cry. I know this. I know this because I almost had tears in my eyes when I hit submit on the form. Tears because I realized today that I can make my dreams come true. Tears because after 10 years I finally know that I am capable of this. Tears because I am going to make a dream a reality and become a half-marathoner. Oh yes, there will be tears. Finally time to walk the walk. Yes, I am scared. Beyond scared. What if I fail? What if I can’t do it? What if its too hard? What if I disappoint myself? But you know what, I’ve had all those fears before and I’ve managed. I was afraid of everything I’ve ever done fitness wise until I actually did it. Do NOT let fear define your life. Do NOT let fear stop you from doing what you really want in your heart.
September 22 and I will realize a dream. That is amazing to me. And proof that this time I am a different girl. This time I am so much stronger than I ever knew possible. This time, yes, this time I am going to succeed for good.
This is my race:
http://www.happygirlsrun.com/forestgrove/
Happy Girls Run. Running has always made me happy and therefore I just decided this was the one. This is the race I’ve been waiting for. I am going to run. I am going to do this. I will cast aside all my fears and self-doubt and I am going to run a half-marathon. Can you believe it? I know its not a marathon, not yet anyway, but a half-marathon is still a pretty damned big deal to me.
I feel high right now. High because I just did what I for some reason always thought was impossible in the back of my mind. I guess something I thought I was not good enough to do for some reason and today, I broke thru a mental wall that told me I was not good enough and instead let me believe that no matter what, I AM good enough. I will not be the fastest, I won’t even be as fast as I am on the treadmill, but I will be able to finish. I know that. And that makes me good enough. I am good enough for myself.
Today, this moment, I am good enough and I am strong enough, and I took the first steps to becoming that girl that I see in my head. Anything is possible if you just believe...
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
6 comments:
That's AWESOME! FYI, I did just email my sister to see if she would want to go run if I came out that weekend:)
Yay for you!! I bet you will probably end up running a half marathon outside on one of the days that you are prepping for the Half Marathon. LOL. I have no doubts that you can do this!
Theresa
Excellent! I have to be honest that I am surprised you you haven't already signed up for one. You can absolutely do this; I have no doubt! I've always been in awe of your running and how easily it seems to come to you. I've done several half-marathons and the high you get from it is quite addictive. A few hours after this one, you will want to sign up for the next one!
Woo hoo! Good luck on your half-marathon!
WHOHOO good for you- i just know you will do great!
Yay! FINALLY! Get ready to be addicted. Race "bling", t-shirts, and just FUN.
I am not sure if you already do this, but I would say add incline to your treadmill runs to get used to running on the road (in addition to running on the road outside). I have no doubt you will be AMAZING!
I am so proud of you for taking this HUGE step! Hopefully you'll meet some cool people out in the running/racing community. I can tell you I have met so many awesome people this way.
Hurrah Emily!!!
Post a Comment