Worth its weight in dumbbells

This morning I woke up feeling positive and happy. I think this has a lot to do with the amazing workout I got last night and maybe a little because of my personal trainer. I say that because without realizing it she compliments me and gives me strength and confidence that I didn’t know I had. It is a blessing in disguise and basically something that is worth every penny I pay for it.

Case in point, I walk into the gym last night and Julie, my trainer, is talking to my mom who was already there. I walk over to them and mom shakes her head at me and Julie says, warm up but take it easy because I’m going to kill you. She smiles and walks away. Mom looks at me and is like she was telling me about what she’s going to make you do and I’m not doing that and you are going to hurt. I was scared.

A little later, as I was easily riding a bike to kill time until my apparent torture Julie comes over to me and shows me a piece of paper with the exercises she has planned for me. My brain tries to quickly comprehend what I’m seeing on this paper. At the top of the list is 100 jumping jacks, then 90 mountain climbers, 80 lunges, 70 knee kick climbers… and then I see the words burpies, planks… and I know this is going to be HARD. Like ridiculously hard. I take a deep breath and go, “Okay, I will do my best.” And I do mean it. I will never tell anyone no I can’t or I won’t, but I am not 100% confident I can do it but I will always try my best.

Julie says to me, “I know you will. Which is why I love you.” As we walk to the little room to begin my torture she tells me that this workout is not one she would do with just anyone. This was a cardio intensive workout designed specifically for me because she knew I could do it. That you have to be in great shape to do it. As we walk into the room there is this really fit active little girl working out. She is one of Julie’s clients. Julie hands her the piece of paper with my workout on it and was like, what do you think, this is what we are doing today, do you want to do this?

I watch the girl as she reads the list of activities and her eyes widen and she’s like, wow. That is tough. I knew it was; but I will try. I will always try. Julie says to her, “Yeah it’s tough, but this girl (nodding over at me) has excellent cardio vascular endurance and she can do it.” You have no idea how much strength it gives me to have a professional who sees tons of clients basically tell me that I am at a different level than most of them. That, “I know you will do whatever I tell you to do because you are amazing. So many people complain and complain about it, but you never complain, you just do it.” I would never think to complain, ever. I am paying for this and I whole heartedly want someone to push me and push me.

This is what we did, quickly, in 15 minutes or less I had to do (and did with much effort and fatigue):

100 jumping jacks
90 mountain climbers
80 lunges
70 knee kick climbers
60 second wall hold
50 crunches
40 leg lifts
30 don’t know the official name, lye on the ground and using your stomach muscles lift up your legs high into the air
20 jumping squats
10 burpies
60 second plank

I don’t actually know if that sounds hard to anyone or not, but let me tell you, that is intense. My legs were on fire; my body was working so hard you have no idea. 15 minutes and I finished. I will not forget this workout. Oh, and Burpies are the devil for the record although she told me I had amazingly perfect form and my shoulders looked awesome. She has a way of complimenting me while I’m exercising that just keeps me going. I don’t know if the compliments are designed to just overall bolster my confidence or to trick me into working harder in the moment; either way it is exactly what I need to hear to push a little harder. I guess that’s why she’s the professional I pay to do this.

After the 15 minute insane circuit we picked up a 30 pound barbell and I had to do bicep curls and overhead lifts. Let me tell you, 30 pounds is a lot and after 10-20 reps my arms were on fire and I seriously did not think I could lift anymore. She kept telling me that 30 pounds is a lot and she was impressed. I am impressed with myself because I know beyond a shadow of a doubt 2 months ago I could NOT have lifted that much. Completely true. I had zero strength and now I am getting really strong as she said and the definition in my muscles is definitely coming thru.

Yesterday was one of those rare moments where I knew every single second of that workout was worth any amount of money I paid for it. They were all things I would not have done on my own, exercise wise, but more importantly; what I get from her is something that is priceless. Here is this woman who trains tons of people daily and sees all sorts of abilities and is basically complimenting me and telling me I am dedicated and committed to a level she hasn’t seen in a long while and that I am in great shape. I would never believe or even comprehend this on my own. Not that I 100% trust it, sometimes I think it’s their job to blow smoke up your ass and encourage you, but it’s still nice to hear. I know I’m dedicated. I know I am stronger than even I knew. I know my form and endurance and strength is getting better daily. I see the vast improvements from 2 months ago to today. I see it. It’s just amazing to have independent confirmation of this.

Needless to say, after my one on one, I felt great. I went into cardio sculpt pumped and primed and pretty much kept up with the instructor. I am getting better. Week by week I am able to do more and more and keep up with just about everything. When I started I mostly just did what I could and then watched. I am definitely in the upper half of the class in terms of being able to do the stuff. After cardio sculpt was turbo kick where I really shine. I have got the moves down pact at this point and it’s all good. Love that class!

A little over 1 hour 30 minutes, 700 calories burned. Then I went home and showered and sat down and watched TV while I let my body actually veg out for a while. It was nice. Tonight I am back at the gym but it will be an easy night tonight. Not looking for a long and killer workout. There is a new class tonight at 6:30 since it’s now a new month. I don’t really know exactly what it is but I’m taking it. It’s only half an hour and then I plan to do about 30 minutes or so weights and then call it good for the night. Tonight is definitely my easy night. Tomorrow it’s back to 3 thirty minute classes so tonight is easy night. Of course we will see how I feel this afternoon. Right now I feel amazing and kind of high from such a great experience last night but I know by the time the afternoon hits I will be dragging a little.

I’m also looking forward to a nice long run this weekend outside. It is my goal to run at least 7-8 miles this weekend outside. I am not shooting for more at this point because it will be my first real attempt at outside running so I think 7-8 miles will be plenty with the new conditions I will be dealing with. However, I’m looking forward to it immensely. I really like challenging myself and pushing myself towards new things that I just never thought I could do. This is one of them.

I am such an addict. I have such a ridiculous addictive personality it is actually kind of scary. I really do try and use my addictive trait for good instead of evil, ha. But take being addictive to being with and then throw in the natural high that people get from exercise and I’m in such serious trouble. Like my trainer said, I am completely committed to this. It’s evident how badly I want it. Funny thing is, I don’t have an exact goal in mind, other than I want to get better at everything. I want to get stronger and faster and be a full born kick ass athlete. I guess that’s what I want. My weight doesn’t change so I guess I’m not after that, but instead I’m after a shapely athletic body. Moreover, I just want someone to look at me and instantly know that that girl is fit and she is an athlete. That is what I want to be known as. The girl who is strong. :) I don’t want to be thin, I want to be fit and there is such a difference. There really is. Honest to God I have never been happier with my body than I am right now.

I remember once seeing like 128 on the scale. Mind you this was like 5 years ago after I had to have emergency gallbladder surgery and was in the hospital for 4 days and could not eat anything on their orders. I had been running, because I always run. I was thin. I was probably the thinnest I had ever been but I was not strong. I would not trade this 140-142 pound body for that 128 pound body. No way. You see I have come a long way in even realizing that statement. It used to be entirely about what the number on the scale said and I would do stupid awful things to get that number as low as possible. Seeing like 128 probably would have been the coolest thing ever for this girl. Not anymore. I really am about being healthy and giving my body the proper food and nutrition and being overall healthy. Being able to kick someone’s ass if I had to means a lot more to men than being 128 pounds. Not that I could kick someone’s ass. Metaphorically maybe not literally.

Anyhow, I am so happy days like today exist. I’ve had far too many shitty days as of late and having a great day like today is a reminder of what I’m fighting for anyway. It’s so nice to have a happy positive mental health kind of day to remind myself that I am beautiful, strong and capable. I am not perfect. But I am perfectly happy with myself. I’ll take it.