Happy thoughts

Ah, morning… you are deceptive to me today. The sun is peaking out of a clear sky but the temperature is bone chillingly cold at like 20 something degrees. You’re stupid liar weather and today I am not your biggest fan in the least. For the record Paige, the next couple days in Oregon are supposed to be cold but unfortunately Saturday we are supposed to get snow. I think it’s supposed to go away quickly, but its stupid cold. It has been nice lately so this is rather disappointing all around. I know you are coming in this weekend which does not make the snow forecast on Saturday too appealing at all. Yuck.

So can I just pretend like I’m chatting at my friends Paige and Brianna here who left comments yesterday. Of course anyone can read this but I’m going to answer you nonetheless. Chris is definitely a “new” runner. He definitely trains for this stuff. He runs a couple times a week and he is sore the day of the day after running a half. He is working up his endurance for sure. He plans on doing the 14 in 14 challenge with me but we both are aware that his body might now allow it. At this point in time it is more physically taxing on his body, but I do think that is from being new to this whole thing. He is otherwise in very good health and shape so it could definitely be worse. He runs much more than I do at this point. But honestly I think he has too. I don’t think most people just show up on race day and run the whole thing without at least running beforehand. Sometimes my mental games play with me a little bit and I think I’m going to fail at this. Surely I must be crazy to think that I cannot run and then just show and up and continue to run and not hurt myself. But thus far it seems to work out okay for me. I don’t train in the typical fashion that people do for half’s. But as pointed out to me last night by Chris, it’s not like I don’t “train” to endure hardcore exercise. I train like 6 days a week for multiple hours, building muscles, pushing myself. I train my brain with mental endurance to push thru when I think I can’t go any more all the time. So I am not walking into half marathons after being sedentary eating crap on the couch and expecting to show up and perform. My body is a pretty conditioned thing at this point.

I honestly believe that health care professionals are against the abuse that excessive cardio does to your body. I completely understand and on some level agree with them. I think maybe they believe I am running in between to train for them and truthfully I might on occasion run a 5k just to keep the memory alive but other than that, I don’t run much at all during the week. Let’s see, I ran Arizona half on Jan 19, I ran once, 1 5k last week, and then I ran another half last Saturday. That was it. I have another half scheduled for Feb 23. If I am lucky I might run 1 or if I’m being crazy 2 5k’s on two different days before then, but most likely it will just be once. I think the fear is that people over train or do excessive amounts of cardio and I am a classic lazy runner who just wants to show up and run. I am just fortunate that my body is trained enough in all other aspects to allow it.

I honestly think that there is something very familiar about running in my bones. The movement is so second nature to me that my muscles just kind of blow it off. I think it’s the intense amount of running done in my lifetime. I promise you I suffer more abuse and get sorer from my gym workouts than a half has ever made me. Now a full marathon would be a different story I am 100% certain. But that is a beast to tackle down the line.

Yes Brianna you are right, it’s about my mental health and happiness. It’s fun for me. I guess if you don’t have that runner’s high or bug, then you will never understand that it’s simply something that I enjoy. It’s like going to the movies for someone else or reading a book. This is my entertainment. It might be slightly sick but it’s still my purest form of enjoyment. I am going to ignore the gym world and do what makes me happy because in my heart I don’t think I’m crossing any lines. 4.5 hours of running in a month is pretty acceptable to me. Even if I threw in 2 training half’s in the in-between which is highly questionable as well, we would be talking about 5.5 hours. Not exactly cardio overload here. I know what is right for me and my heart and my head and I’m going to go with that.

I’m not trying to sound like some super runner. I really am not. I run right around a 6 mile per hour pace and I don’t stray too much from that. I do get tired and exhausted and I do slow down at the end. There are tons of people who finish well in front of me. I am just comfortable with the effort I have to put out to get decent enough results for me. I can honestly say I wouldn’t want to do this if it required massive training on my part. I could not justify the cardio abuse on my body if I had to train over and over. But I think I’ve already put in the training hours in my lifetime and my body remembers it. I didn’t just wake up one day and run 13.1 miles without any issue. It is a long time coming and I think I’ve earned the right to just show up and run with everything else I’ve done previously to get to this point.

Enough about that. Let’s talk about something else. I am not sure I want to say too much about the Biggest Loser last night. I was excited to watch it as we all know that I love the show. I know that is completely unrealistic and not applicable to the real world in the least and yes can cause people to feel bad about themselves for not being able to make changes in their own lives. I get all that. But I think the good it produces outweighs the bad. I think generally speaking the concept of trying to happy and healthy is a good one. At least I think that is what the concept is. Less we forget it is actually a competition with a prize there will always be someone to remind us of the game aspect of it. That is sad. I think in the end she was trying to win a game at all costs. I have thought about it some and the truth is I am not sure I would do things any different. I am obsessive compulsive as clearly she is and she obviously wanted to win. I’d like to think I would have stopped at like 120 pounds or so when I no longer looked healthy and fit but it is a game. She knew she was up against bigger men who had more to lose than her so to counter balance she had to go extreme. With all that said I am horrified. 105 pounds is ridiculous for ANYONE. And she looked so beyond unhealthy it wasn’t even funny. She looked gross and it was sad. Not anything anyone should ever strive for.

I find myself wishing that she’d issue a statement of some sort that says yes, I wanted to win the game and I don’t intend to live my life like this. I personally hope immediately following that weigh in she ate some delicious healthy foods. Something to nourish her clearly malnourished frame. I wish she’d just come out and say, hey guys, hey world I know you are talking shit but even I can accept this isn’t healthy. I just wanted to win and I shall return to a liveable weight now.

Let’s face it, most of these contestants do put some weight back on pretty quickly while they try and find that balance in their lives. My only fear is that she has crossed some line into eating disorder land where she can’t see things clearly anymore. It was supposed to be about being healthy and fit and getting your life back. We will see won’t we? Given all the attention she’s getting I am certain we will see stories or photos down the line following her. I will say this though, Bob and Jillian’s expression was classic. Priceless. I love that even they were floored.

So tonight is my personal training and I have been promised biceps/triceps and abs. Oh boy :) It’s going to be interesting because it is ALWAYS interesting with that girl. I kind of love her to death but am terrified of her too. If it wasn’t for her I wouldn’t be where I am today and I also wouldn’t go probably half the time either. She keeps me honest and accountable. And of course today is Wednesday already so we are approaching the halfway mark thru the week. YEAH!!!! That is good for me. I want my weekend already.

I am one very happy girl today as well. I honestly can say with 100% certainty that running has been good for my soul and it has helped bond my husband and I in a unique way. It’s very cool to share this with him and I feel very happy that I get to.