Sore as Hell

Sore as fuck. This is simply the best way to describe what I am experiencing right now this moment. Wednesday night in personal training we did back which ultimately led to a ridiculous amount of heavy lat pull downs. And then rows with 25 pound weights. The lat pull downs are literally pulling 100 pounds of weight down repeatedly. Ultimately when your back muscles fail you your arm muscles start to take over. Both my triceps and biceps are stinging every bit as much as my back is right now. In all fairness it’s not directly my back as much as my sides and what is often classified as the “wings” of my back. They are all sore to the touch. And yet, in a weird irony of life I keep wanting to touch them because they are in screaming pain and I think they want to me massaged ever so gently, expect all this does is produce pain and a little cry escapes my mouth that says “ouch”… and I repeat the vicious cycle over and over again.

This is the agonizing ecstasy that is heavy weight training. Pure hell and pure pleasure all wrapped up into one. Yes, in a nutshell, sore as fuck. I believe I asked for this and sort of live off the high that this shit produces. Ultimately it means that I am resting today, as Friday has always been my rest day. I do think that I need it. I am kind of counting down the hours until the end of the workday. About 3 and a half to go and that is happiness for me. Tonight is also Friday night date night with my husband and we are going to Olive Garden. This is also why at points I feel like I am spinning out of control and then at points I could care less. I bust ass most of the time in the gym I guess so that I can go out to dinner and eat breadsticks when I want. It’s a fair trade off at this point in my life for me.

I am not one of those over the top crazy girls (well yes I am most of the time), but one of those who won’t eat a single bad thing. I’ve just never been that girl. I can force myself to lose weight but that ultimately is not a single bit realistic, so I eat. I am learning to be okay with the body that it produces for me as a result. I am an exercise junkie and a food junkie and they seem to balance each other out. Said the girl who is so ridiculously sore that she keeps saying ouch, ouch repeatedly…. When I just move.

Also said the girl who has an entire calendar dedicated to upcoming half marathons. I can honestly say I have never been a girl who has a year in advance calendar with anything on it. In 34 years of life I have never planned my life this far ahead. I have a complete 2014 calendar marked up with races that most of which are paid for and planned. I have to attest to the fact that I love that I so confidently can purchase race entry fees for events in September/October/November and whole heartedly believe that I will be in running shape at this time. I don’t even worry about that. This is quite progress for me. Also, I realized the other day that October 5 of this year will be my 2 year anniversary this time around. As I have never had a 2 year weight loss anniversary that is kind of exciting, but as I was looking at my race calendar I realized that on October 5, 2014 I will be running a half marathon in San Jose. What a cool ass way to celebrate 2 years of this change. Awesome!!!

I am that living proof that anything is possible, no matter how many times you have failed and succeeded and failed at this, at anything really. Never give up because any single time, any single moment can be different.

Did I mention that I have literally blown past my 14 races in 2014 as I had predicted, I kind of go full force all the time. As of this minute I am literally signed up for 18 half marathons, paid for and all. I mean 4 of those are already completed and in the books so that means another 14 to run. Cause that’s just what I do. I have this goal in my mind, this end game that I see and I decide I will achieve it. Right now it’s that mental image of me with all those medals around my neck, culminating a yearlong addiction/obsession/commitment to running. Guess I’m making up for the 10 years prior where I dabbled with running but never actually ran organized events. In true Emily gusto we go for the gold medal full force. All or nothing. The complete story of my life.

Anyhow, I am glad it’s Friday. I am glad its rest day. I am glad I get to go out to dinner to the Olive Garden tonight. I am glad I have a weekend and I don’t even have any real plans. I am glad for a lot of things today. Definitely feeling better than yesterday which was better than Monday or Tuesday. And as far as that goes, I will take it.